My Other Half

Let me take you to the 90s where everything was easier. This post today is gonna be about me and my best friend. There's a reason why I put that picture up on the first place. That picture explains that they're taking care of each other and I guess that is what friendship about. Love and care. Yeap! no doubt!

When I was still in the kindergarten, where you can see innocent faces and lollies were so important for them and ironically, that made them happy. That's when my friendship starts. I have been knowing my best friend for more than 15 years. How crazy is that? We've been through ups and downs, separations, fights and we kiss and we make up. For me, she is everything. She is more than just a best friend to me. She is like my sister, my soulmate and more importantly, she is my person! Do you know how rare to find a person that knows you better than you know yourself? Do you know how difficult it is to find someone that means so much to you and yet you still with this someone? I just wanna say that I am insanely thankful to have her as my best friend!

Leaving my best friend for overseas, I found that this was what I felt when I began to miss her. Knowing that I only get to spend a couple of weeks a year with her.

So here I am, I wrote a poem for you :)

As childhood friends, we grew up together

Swearing to be friends forever and ever

Sometimes we would argue and fight

Other times we would laugh and stay up all night

We went from playing with games and toys

To talking and dreaming about different boys

My thoughts and feelings, to you I would confide

Never having anything to hide

Best Friends we do remain

Things changing and things staying the same

To each other we still listen and share

About each other, we will always care

Dear within

the memories they caress with sorrow

And gather them today

for what may come of tomorrow

Priceless

Priceless ever are these moments that we spend with those so dear

The distance between you and I

Is only a heartbeat away

For you and I dwell in each other's heart

There forever we will stay

You know all my emotions

Many they may be

You know when to be gentle

And when to chastise me

When troubles come a callin

As those gremlins often do

And my spirit keeps on fallin

Till I feel low down and blue

When I look around for comfort

Someone quickly jumps to mind

One who always will support me

And whose words are always kind

Who will make my mood feel lighter

Who’ll help beat my troubles back

Who helps the road seem straighter

And helps me get around each bend

Who makes each day seem greater

Very soon we'll be as one

Together as we once had been

Filling our memory boxes

For another year of being unseen

My Own Script

another year has come and gone

so many lessons were there to learn

and some of them again I missed

and here another year comes a new

torn between the two

i fight on and on and on

every day with my own self

to keep my sanity and live another day

defeated and beaten down to earth

but only I can pick me up

to start again to make new strides

in this fleeting days of illusion

i must stand for myself to live

and though I may have failed before

i will try some more .. again and again

to learn to overcome the lower self

and passions of the mind I bear

of anger, lust and vanity

of attachment and even greed

no one says that

its easy to deal with the unexpected

especially when bad memories linger everywhere

they are killing you softly

in a world full of lies and deceit

where people change alliances at a drop of a coin

sometimes there is a window of hope

that all is not lost after all

as the year comes to a new beginning

i try not to go back to where i began

a brand new year and a fresh new start

to rewrite the script with my own plan

J.AV

don't fight but deal ..

i often wonder why

things seem to remain the same

every step I take

brings me closer to the same

night beckons me

i stay up wide awake and weary

hoping for a change for the better or worse

as long as it's not too adverse

life is bland

when we don't understand

God's command that we need to withstand

who knows life

and sometimes they call it as a game

where we are and from where we came

everyone differs and no one is same

fighting for money and mortal name

fihgting for power and love

soul holds the memories in the frame

few love everything and few hardly tame

who has understood such is the game

it is obvious that problems often intervene in life

problems are the beginning of worth-while life

don't fight a fact but deal with it

nobody can go back and start a new beginning

but anyone can start today and make a new ending

moreover it's better to learn early than late

and braze yourself for this fate

that life is to be lone lead

no matter how many have otherwise said

many have gone and many came

don't ever trust completely

and give away your heart and soul

for truth someday

you are bound to see

but then,

nothing can you control

J.A.V

a song to choose

come from a turbulent past

the fate is now placed in your hands

the unknown future awaits

as it does

for foolish few who dare

leave behind what you comprehend

know for now without doubt

for life can lead in many ways

often now undesired

fate can deal a cruel hand sometimes

but we play on cold and tired

rain softly fallin down

each drop a symphony of sound

it is your choice of what rhythm is going to be

the decision is yours

as it for life

there are some moments

that you wanted to change to be a better one

unfortunately you cant turn back time

there must be some things that you regret

there must be some bitter endings

which u don't expect

some pains that you made that cannot be undo

and for all those reasons

how you wish you can do all over again

when life gets much harder

it will make u stronger

don't regret of what u've done

cos it don't make any difference

you have and own the life you're given

What worries you .. masters you ..

worry is something that disturbs the peace of mind

worry is interest paid on trouble before it is due

afflicts with mental agitation or distress

describe the indomitable state of mind

things that are aversely happening 

in life against the will

worry is a thin stream of fear trickling through the mind

if encouraged

it cuts a channel into which all other thoughts are drained 

many of you may worry about 2 things 

that are yesterday and tomorrow

worry a little bit every day 

and in a lifetime you will lose a couple of years

if something is wrong

fix it if you can

but 

train yourself not to worry

cos

worry never fixes anything

and yet 

anxiety does not empty tomorrow of its sorrows

but only empties today of its strength

do not anticipate trouble

or worry about what may never happen

because

the greatest part of our happiness depends on our dispositions

not our circumstances

J.A.V

romance blossomed

tonight is calm and clear

and I am thinking of someone dear

I look into the night sky

and try to realize why I want to cry

the stars are crisp and bright

i wonder if you are thinking of me tonight 

there is a summer night to remember 

there were times for me and you 

we were laughing together 

as the fire of love burned between us 

please do not fade your sight on me

i've memorized the music of melancholy and life

let the sun refuse to rise

let not morning arrive soon

for every moment I take

all reasons have been truthful

there and from 

my heart has spoken words that are true

from there where we shall meet 

I endorse solitude of hearts

made warm romance and forgotten the past

in sweet dilemma and crucial mistakes

may we always stride this way and never cross apart

i'm planting faith into your heart and it will bloom well

in places where our eyes would speak solemnly

but our hearts carried the lights beyond any spell

J.A.V

call yourself a fool when it comes to love ..

what is this magical bond we share?

amidst the constant circus like avalanche of words,
how did you know?
faithful to uncertainty
a spirit yearning to be free
his subtle words lodge in my thought ..
is it possible that a simple innocent radiant smile
or a crazy serendipitous verse
could bring two people so diverse
to where we find ourselves today?
strangers once to our own lives
at ease with the depth of our own emptiness,
how unlikely it is that we are here ..
the kind of night you wish you were with the one you love
nestled close to the open fire
watching the moon duck in and out of the white cotton clouds
caressing and holding each other gently
breath silently quivering collect

how i wish you were here 

right now .. 

Feelings and emotions stir
Disguised by layers of pain and ruin
Two hearts awaken
A gentle, loving, knowing kiss
Bound together forever ..

J.A.V

love and life are easily perceived ..

dear all bloggers who are falling in love ,

maybe sometimes people are right about happiness .. especially when you are falling in love .. 

when you are falling in love so deeply, you hardly remember what sadness is .. 

for these past 4 months, i feel happiness continuously and I thank God for it .. 

i'm so grateful for what i have now.. my family, my friends and especially for my special one, dendi ..

i don't know why .. this time i feel so different .. it's just not the same like i felt before .. it's like everything seems fall into the right place .. 

well ... i do admit in every relationship there must be problems that you have to accept and face it .. 

however i do believe that problems mean nothing as compare as the faith and trust of love that you have ..  

sometimes talking is way easier rather than doing it .. hmmm .. but you know .. the power of love *wow* is really helping you if you have an internal problem in your relationship .. i say this not just by saying it but it happened to me .. perhaps, it applies to you guyz as well :) 

does anyone still watch fairy-tales movies here ?? like Barbie ..?? 

well i will be the one who put my hand up high .. :P 

if you watch Barbie , the ending is always an happy ending .. but that is not my point .. this movie shows me that problems are not a big deal if you work it out together and turns out to be true .. mysteries make you curious but yet make you reach your depressions .. but hang on a second guyz , is problem suppose to put you down? or is it the reverse?? the answer is yours .. 

there go my points . . 

for me now , i feel so happy because obviously im falling in love .. but i know it won't last forever cos life has it's own upturn and downturn .. we can't be in the top position forever, can we? 

actually love and life are easily perceived as long as we understand the purpose and the concept of them .. 

hmm .. i think it's time for me to log off this blog cos i have to do the stupid assignment from uni .. 

*E.M.E.R.G.E.N.C.Y* somebody call my momma .. LOL ..

so goodluck guyz ^^

enjoy your day people .. 

GOD bless ..

Joanna 

this message is meant for people who reach their lowest low right now because of others ..

dear all people whoever you are out there ,

today is 11 of october 2009 .. there were many things happened before this day ..
can someone tell me how does it feel when you hear something or lets say , how do you feel when you know that people talk shit behind you when you are not ? 
or how does it feel to be blame when you do not do anything like ppl think?
well let says, most of you once been in that situation before .. and i guess its not easy to be in that kind of position.. 

mistakes are common to human being .. old or young, men or women , teenagers or kids .. people do mistakes and there are times you want to turn back time just to prevent that mistakes .. 
talking about people or in other words, gossiping is not bad but somehow, you have to watch what words are going to be delivered .. these days, there are many people backstabbing or cheating behind you .. you will never know who they are until you face it yourselves ..

i dont understand why people like to talk bad stuffs behind it .. in my mind, what is the advantage of it? will it benefit you?? and i dont really get it why people are so eager to talk something that arent their stuffs .. talk about personal life of others .. talk about non-personal life of others .. well i do understand that people like to talk about others but with one condition, IF ONLY YOU KNOW THEM .. but how if not?? is it just for the fun of it ?? or is it interesting ..?? 

i do admit that talking is fun .. and i do admit that gossiping is fun as well .. back then im one of them .. but since i grown up .. everything has changed .. ive learned one thing, there is no benefit at all to talk shit of others cos if you dont want people to talk nasty things about you then you DO NOT need to talk like that .. sometimes i feel uneasy of those things that happen around me .. either it my friends or "friends" .. 

there is one thing that i want to state about this note .. NEVER trust people so easily .. cos trust is a big word to say and to do .. you've gotta sure that the person you trust is a worthy person .. because you know, in these days, people are so good in acting .. they can pretend as much as they want to .. you never know what's in their minds .. 

and yea .. for those people who always talk shit about others .. i once think, why dont they just get themselves a mirror and look at themselves .. have they ONCE make a MISTAKE in their life? are they PERFECT ?? if they think so .. GO AHEAD ppl .. 
however, i believe that each person in this world .. whoever they are .. wherever they are .. they MUST be done mistakes in their life .. big or small .. it doesnt matter .. 

for people out there who reach their lowest low just because of "those people" .. CHEER UP .. dont be sad .. let them know who you are .. i mean the real you .. i suggest you .. not to give a damn care about it .. cos you know why ?? they DONT deserve your concern .. they DONT deserve your thoughts .. they DONT deserve your tears .. just dont give a shit of it people .. as in i say , only people who knows you well are the one who respect you and understand who you are .. 

and i will end this note by saying, 
dont give up of somethings that arent worth it at all .. REMEMBER , you are who you are .. if people still continue talking shit behind you .. say to them " GO AHEAD .. TALK AS MUCH AS YOU WANT TO COS I DONT GIVE A DAMN CARE ABOUT IT " .. just let people who know you really well, judge you .. NOT them .. 


so .. good luck people .. dont let them bring your days down .. cos they dont know what they are doing right now .. i bet they will regret it after all .. just believe in yourself, that you are a great and extra-ordinary person .. :)


God bless 




Joanna -

dedicate for people who feel that they aren't being themselves or not being satisfy of what they have ..

different, yes I am always listening to my jam 

stare at me if you want 

go ahead you can even taunt cause i don't care what other think styles are never, 

ever written in ink so be yourself 

don't sit on the shelf 

dance to your own beat you can make it quite a feat 

you can be whatever you want to be 

I hope you too can see 

cliques aren't 'cool' 

they will never rule 

sometimes they can be cruel so don't stop and stare a drool so be yourself 

don't sit on the shelf 

cut it off like a knife 

and live your life!  

Joanna -