You Are My FOREVER MOTHER

i didn't noticed 
it's been 2 weeks since my mom left 
and i've realized that i'm alone by myself
with no laughter or happiness ..
i cried like tears couldn't stop
i couldn't help myself this time
i really miss you mom ..
i still remember 
on the day you left me
we had a fight
we cried together 
we apologized each other
and you said that you loved me 
just before i let you go ..
it aint easy for me to make this note
cos i shed tears from one sentence to another sentence ..
i laid myself down 
and i was thinking of your birthday
your big day is going to come 
but there's something that bothered me
it's about me 
i can't be there to celebrate your birthday mom ..
it's tough for me 
for not be with you on your special day
i used to be with you for every single day 
but now ,
how pathetic i am 
that i can't even give you a little surprise ..
i closed my eyes
i was flashing back to our times 
memories of you 
young and vibrant
are as clear in my mind 
as if i were still a little girl 
holding onto your hand ..
the lessons you taught me 
are always with me
especially the ones on surviving
the strength I have inside
is only a shadow of the woman you are ..
mother,
you're a wonderful mother
so gentle yet so strong
there are many ways you show you care
always make me feel I belong .. ..
you're patient when I'm foolish
you give guidance when I ask 
you're my cushion when I fall
you help in times of trouble
you support me whenever I call ..
mom,
i love you more than you know ..
i think of all the things you gave to me
sacrifice, devotion, love and tears
all these you spent on me throughout the years 
you loved me with a never-failing love
and then you did the hardest thing of all
you let me separate from you and set me free ..
everyday i try my best to survive without you
mom i promise you that there'll never be another 
cos you are my forever mother ..




P.S. mama .. i miss you so much .. i feel so lonely without you .. i know it seems that i look like a kid that lose her barbie but i just want you to know that i love you more than you ever know and you have no idea how much i love you .. 


Joanna -