Can't Turn Back Time - Reminiscing

everyone tells you
they're the best years of your life
the thing they don't tell you
is they are all full of strife
from a child to a teen
in less then a year
it's a lot to deal with ..
teen life 
is something you have to deal with
is something that you have to overcome
the war is against yourselves ..
a child has no worries
a teen has plenty
you've learnt the meaning of love
you've discovered broken hearts
the worries of being accepted
are the hardest part of all ..
time creates all moments
time modifies all questions
time answers all the miseries
then .. 
have you ever wondered 
what life would be like with that person you have lost in your life 
and said to your self things would be different if that person was still here?
have you ever wondered 
what it would be like if you can go back a change the things you have done 
and hope that it wouldn't be like it is now?
too many questions that ended with a big question mark ..
it seems or so people say,
the moment we are born
our fate is already etched on to our foreheads 
a moment when you left still visible
but it's just you can't have them back 

everything is beyond waving goodbye ..

Joanna

This is dedicated to everyone who has something in their mind - particularly in PROBLEMS ..

tonight 
as the time goes by 
im so thankful to God 
that i've become what i am now ..
there was a time 
i spent all my night 
praying for something that i wish to have for
praying for something that i really desire to be with 
God didn't grant my wish
but i guess,
He know what he's doing after all ..
i'm siting right here in my room 
in silence and no one's here 
im thinking how dumb i was before 
but it's pointless to regret of something that had been done 
however,
i'm gleefully happy with my situation right now ..
that's why ,
i thank God for everything that He has done for me
i thank God for the unanswered prayers
and there's a crucial point ,
when He don't answer my prayer ,
it doesn't mean he don't care ..
it means He has an incredible plan for me ..
it's just I have to wait ..
tonight 
i want to share something with all of you people out there 
who have problems , sadness or disappointments ..
sometimes,
problems bring positive changes to your life 
it's just a matter of your decision 
a little decision can change every single thing in your life 
for people out there who have broken hearts right now,
cheer up and don't be sad ..
A broken heart is not the end of the world
just believe , somehow .. some day .
there must be a right person for you to live with ..
for people out there who are falling in love,
appreciate your partner and treat them with tender and care ..
for people out there who have problems with parents ,
be thankful for that ,
cos at that moment,
God just want to show you how much they love you ..
for people out there who have problems with friendships,
praise the lord,
cos God is trying to let you know ,
whoever your "best friend" is ,
is not a good friend that you have to keep for and it's worthless ..
live the life to the fullest 
live the life with 3 simple words and that are " thank you, God"
be grateful of every single moment in your life for each day 
cos those moments mean something special 
that you will never know until you regret it !


Joanna-

love is all around

love is a state of mind
a puzzle made by pieces you can't find
it's written in the history of life 
like memories you can't erase 
love is merely madness
it may be the case 
that a person may be able 
to find love more than once in his or her life
and the person settles with the one 
who is best and compatible amongst all ..
we come to love not by finding a perfect person
but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly
alone they are two
together they are one 
there are no boundaries or barriers 
if two people are destined to be together 
that kind of selfless love has an incredible power ..
in true love the smallest distance is too great
and the greatest distance can be bridged 
when distance lies between lovers 
it will turn up to be the fire of love
love is missing someone whenever you're apart
but somehow feeling warm inside 
because you're close in heart ..
in the arithmetic of love
one plus one equals everything
and two minus one equals nothing 
life has taught us 
that love does not consist in gazing at each other 
but in looking outward together in the same direction ..




Joanna-

Questions of Trust

why does your heart grow doubtful?
tense and beating
full of fear
somehow i know that trust will save me 
but 
to trust someone is based on your clarity of judgement
and it's not easy to do it ..
trust is being earn and lost
do you earn it ?
If trust is lost, will you ever get it back?
will you ever be close to that person again?
it will be never be the same as before ..
how can you trust someone if that someone has broken your trust? 
it feels like heart is empty ..
you have to work for your trust 
with the person that make you lost the trust
you have to make that person understand
why should you ever trust that person again 
you have to repair that broken trust ..
trust can be lost yet regained
once lost
it is hard to regain trust
trust is something that should not be abused or betrayed
trust is a feeling
thats always worth achieving ..
maybe
the past made you not to trust completely
wasn't able to trust anybody fully
thought that you wouldn't allow yourself to get hurt anymore
but that all changed when you knocked
and although you know your partner is true
even to your lover u decreasingly trust
but you will never know the price to pay ..
trust is a word but has a deep meaning
trust is received then slowly deceived 
with something as fragile as trust
once its broken
it takes awhile to rebuild
then questions are all around 
is this trust coming from something more sinister or is it genuine? 
how do you choose? 
who could you trust in your greatest moment in need? 
who will be worthy of having your trust? 
will you be able to confide your trust among certain people? 
all i can say ....
think twice before you act 
cos 
there's no point of regretting of what had done ...



Joanna -

The missing piece of trust

there are dreams that come true 
there are dreams that absurd 
there are sentences which are clear 
there are sentences which show uncertainty 
there are minds that easy to guest 
there are minds that complicated 
there are mistakes that acceptable 
there are mistakes that inevitable 
there are attitudes that lack of attention
there are attitudes that over joy 
while im sitting here 
with questions in my mind 
and im questioning myself ,
" what am i now ? "
" do i still have a heart to feel it ? "
" or is it just a situation where i don't want to be alone ? "
while i was giving my trust away 
i should have not write a 100% off 
memories will explain it all
trust is a word which easy to say but it's hard to prove
however,
many people do ..
a poor little heart 
that didn't know anything about lies 
was manipulated by an evil heart 
to give away it's own trust ..
once is enough
twice is too much 
and the third time ..
the poor little heart will just break into pieces 
and it has been happening since a long time ago ..
a second chance is an opportunity for someone 
to improve the faults of it's own 
it's easy to please but it's hard to be a better person by the second chance 
when you have the second chance 
you will be overjoy cos you think you deserve it and you can prove it ..
while on the other side ,
when the person is giving you the second chance
it doesnt mean that the person just give away the chance 
it means something else ..
when the person is giving the second chance 
it shows that the person lose the trust 
there is no more honesty between them 
suspicions
furious
anger 
unease 
all together become one which is called as a sensitiveness of feeling
when the poem comes to an end ..
does anyone know how to trust people for one more time ?
does anyone has a suggestion of how to gain the trust for once again ?



Joanna-

Perhaps . .

I lay myself off on the bed 
Thinking of how long it has been passed
Always worrying about something that absurd
There are times I regret not to let you know 
How much you mean to me 
And at this moment
Tho I say it .. Its worthless 
I cover myself up
And I close my eyes 
Reminiscing all those sweet times
I'm pouting my lips
Anger and sadness arise
Wish I could turn back time
Wish I could mend the broken heart
Wish I could make my own script of life
Then I would be the great director 
You left with reasonable reasons
That I couldn't insist you to stay a while 
Now 
I know how a broken heart gives you pain 
Now
I understand how it feels when you hit the lowest low
Now
I know how it feels when you are in the situation of uncertainty$
That's why I decided 
Not to look after you anymore
Not even a single minute 
Tho I did rushed to find a way to make you stay 
But now 
I just let it go
Maybe somehow
There will be a time where you and me meet at the right time 
Where we come up together and do things rightly
All I can say is 
Perhaps ..

a girl in the mirror

There is a girl in the mirror
I wonder who she is 
Sometimes I really know her 
But sometimes I wish I did ..
There is a story in her eyes
Lullaby that saying a goodbye 
And when she looking back at me
I can tell that her heart can break easily 
And she shows 
That it is not easy to forget someone..
At that moment ,
I can't say anything 
I can't do anything 
I'm just staring at her 
And feel how pity she is .. 
If only I can do something,
I wish I can tell her to realize 
That she can be stronger than ever ..
If I could 
I would tell her not to be afraid 
If I could
I would tell her not to cry 
If I could 
I would tell her that her feelings are just a sense of loneliness that will fade ..
Cos I'm sure love will find its own way .. 
And now I know ,
The girl in the mirror,
She reflects me .. 
I can't believe this,
But I am certain that she will be alright in time .. 



Joanna -

chaotic

life defines happiness
life defines sadness
a life in the hope of 
discovering the meaning of my life
my speech 
my poetry
come to life with me ..
the life force in my life’s functions
drawn from life
to life drawn
dream to life a life full of dreams
this liveliness
this sparkle
this effervescence of life
this bubbling life like wine ..
life is every where 
it is in you now and forever it shall stay 
but sometimes,
life is sad and it is lonely
life is evil and life is blunt ..
some people might say life sucks
or life is full of shit
while other people say life is beautiful
or life is full of surprises 
life is whatever you think of it
and everything you think of it
life is what you make it of it 
and what you say of it ..
life is about pain 
that causes a miserable time
life is about loss and winning
life is about smiling and crying
life is about love and laughter
life is about learning from your mistakes
life is dumb and awesome
life is a depression, tears and sorrow
life is about an anxiousness ..
life is a gift for you to send
life is a gift now you're with me
life is a gift when love is true
life is a gift when it is handed on a tray
life is a gift even though it is always on display
life is a gift even if it is hard to understand how ..
there is a thing that cannot be explained in life
there is something that is unknown in life
there is something that is yet to be shown in life 
there is groove we seek what matters
there is moves shaking to make life better 
at last ..
life has bad times that create pain
however,
life has good times that won't be forgotten
and ...
life will always start from the bottom to the top ..




Joanna 

adam and eve

when love presents between adam and eve
emotions are running wild 
it's like something in mind
it's about secrecy ..
when there's no trust 
when there's no honesty
eve prefer to step away from love 
however,
eve wants an attention of love
it's like hide and seek ..
adam is perceiving of eve's reaction
doesn't want to become a fugitive man 
adam creates romance ..
as the time goes by ,
trust is putting its part inside eve 
love arises between them 
care specifies itself 
but ..
everything can be different in anytime 
sometimes love comes around
sometimes love knocks you down 
lately is enough for eve
everything looks perfect
but not for adam ..
mistreat 
cheating
lies 
all of these become the heading news 
it aint enough for him 
he still tries to make another drama ..
tears are falling down from eve's eyes
a heart-broken lies inside her feeling 
then she thinks ,
" is this what i want ? "
" Is It Really Worth it? "
she's been through hard times 
she's been thinking for ages 
and there's one time,
eve decided to move on and go on 
cos adam had a spite at her ..
adam questioned about the changes 
talking with the head down 
saying that he didn't totally aware
but 
eyes were starring everywhere 
couldn't see through her eyes 
cos he knew he was wrong ..
eve had enough 
she's sick of love 
she's done of wishing 
she's done of hoping for the change 
she's tried of the tear 
and she's too fly to be depressed ...
she said to herself
that this was her mistake that made it clear
she deserves someone so much better . .
what done is done 
can't turn back time ..



Joanna-