time is ticking hastily
someone thinks unceremoniously
a simple smile sketch on the other face
day by day passed unconsciously
someone caught in the middle
a simple laugh heard from the other person
someone sits and reminisces
while memories stay forever
what done is done ..
someone should have known
how much a love shown
if it was just passing by
then mind your own business
heart is beating
mind is sacredly to its own
what a rush
what a lust
everything has changed ..
happiness caused sadness
love caused pain
joy arises after tears
a smile arises after broken-hearted
mistakes make hearts repent regrettably
once time's out
everything accomplished ..
there is no more time for crying
there is no more time of thinking
it is useless to question mark a heart
is it worthless to apologize
cos ..
there were times where hearts stay constant
there were times where feelings stay the same
but ..
once changed
forever would be ..
Joanna
Thursday, July 9, 2009
You Are My FOREVER MOTHER
i didn't noticed
it's been 2 weeks since my mom left
and i've realized that i'm alone by myself
with no laughter or happiness ..
i cried like tears couldn't stop
i couldn't help myself this time
i really miss you mom ..
i still remember
on the day you left me
we had a fight
we cried together
we apologized each other
and you said that you loved me
just before i let you go ..
it aint easy for me to make this note
cos i shed tears from one sentence to another sentence ..
i laid myself down
and i was thinking of your birthday
your big day is going to come
but there's something that bothered me
it's about me
i can't be there to celebrate your birthday mom ..
it's tough for me
for not be with you on your special day
i used to be with you for every single day
but now ,
how pathetic i am
that i can't even give you a little surprise ..
i closed my eyes
i was flashing back to our times
memories of you
young and vibrant
are as clear in my mind
as if i were still a little girl
holding onto your hand ..
the lessons you taught me
are always with me
especially the ones on surviving
the strength I have inside
is only a shadow of the woman you are ..
mother,
you're a wonderful mother
so gentle yet so strong
there are many ways you show you care
always make me feel I belong .. ..
you're patient when I'm foolish
you give guidance when I ask
you're my cushion when I fall
you help in times of trouble
you support me whenever I call ..
mom,
i love you more than you know ..
i think of all the things you gave to me
sacrifice, devotion, love and tears
all these you spent on me throughout the years
you loved me with a never-failing love
and then you did the hardest thing of all
you let me separate from you and set me free ..
everyday i try my best to survive without you
mom i promise you that there'll never be another
cos you are my forever mother ..
P.S. mama .. i miss you so much .. i feel so lonely without you .. i know it seems that i look like a kid that lose her barbie but i just want you to know that i love you more than you ever know and you have no idea how much i love you ..
Joanna -
it's been 2 weeks since my mom left
and i've realized that i'm alone by myself
with no laughter or happiness ..
i cried like tears couldn't stop
i couldn't help myself this time
i really miss you mom ..
i still remember
on the day you left me
we had a fight
we cried together
we apologized each other
and you said that you loved me
just before i let you go ..
it aint easy for me to make this note
cos i shed tears from one sentence to another sentence ..
i laid myself down
and i was thinking of your birthday
your big day is going to come
but there's something that bothered me
it's about me
i can't be there to celebrate your birthday mom ..
it's tough for me
for not be with you on your special day
i used to be with you for every single day
but now ,
how pathetic i am
that i can't even give you a little surprise ..
i closed my eyes
i was flashing back to our times
memories of you
young and vibrant
are as clear in my mind
as if i were still a little girl
holding onto your hand ..
the lessons you taught me
are always with me
especially the ones on surviving
the strength I have inside
is only a shadow of the woman you are ..
mother,
you're a wonderful mother
so gentle yet so strong
there are many ways you show you care
always make me feel I belong .. ..
you're patient when I'm foolish
you give guidance when I ask
you're my cushion when I fall
you help in times of trouble
you support me whenever I call ..
mom,
i love you more than you know ..
i think of all the things you gave to me
sacrifice, devotion, love and tears
all these you spent on me throughout the years
you loved me with a never-failing love
and then you did the hardest thing of all
you let me separate from you and set me free ..
everyday i try my best to survive without you
mom i promise you that there'll never be another
cos you are my forever mother ..
P.S. mama .. i miss you so much .. i feel so lonely without you .. i know it seems that i look like a kid that lose her barbie but i just want you to know that i love you more than you ever know and you have no idea how much i love you ..
Joanna -
For Who You Are
People nowadays are over-limit of everything
money .. words .. acts .. lies .. loves .. powers ..
and the worst thing is mouth
it can create the most amazing drama of life
most of the people always have a desire
to interrupt someone-else's life
they come like a thief
and they go without leaving any footprints
someone come and tell you
that your friends hate you
somebody criticize you
that you always on the wrong track
another group talk eagerly about you
saying how bad you are
let me tell you something important,
" they act foolishly and there's a jealousy on fire "
another day has come
for the second time
your friends tell you
they think you should do something more
not only for love
your relatives treat you nicely
but behind the scenes
it likes no other drama
that they treat you as a dumb ass
like you aint got your own mind
let me say it out loud,
" there are some parts which they don't understand .."
" if only they have a better way to spend their precious time but if don't then nvm .."
week by week has passed
for the third time
your best friend talk to you privately
saying that you are no longer as a best friend
just because you don't do something that your best friend expect
your partner hold hands
but together with a serious conversation
telling you that you've changed
for the reasons that you don't wanna do what he wanted you to do
your parents have a dinner with you
and a crucial spoken words
warning you about their ideas
they insist you that you ought to have their plans on your track
let me complete my note utterly,
by saying ..
if your best friend said that you were no longer as a good best friend ,
money .. words .. acts .. lies .. loves .. powers ..
and the worst thing is mouth
it can create the most amazing drama of life
most of the people always have a desire
to interrupt someone-else's life
they come like a thief
and they go without leaving any footprints
someone come and tell you
that your friends hate you
somebody criticize you
that you always on the wrong track
another group talk eagerly about you
saying how bad you are
let me tell you something important,
" they act foolishly and there's a jealousy on fire "
another day has come
for the second time
your friends tell you
they think you should do something more
not only for love
your relatives treat you nicely
but behind the scenes
it likes no other drama
that they treat you as a dumb ass
like you aint got your own mind
let me say it out loud,
" there are some parts which they don't understand .."
" if only they have a better way to spend their precious time but if don't then nvm .."
week by week has passed
for the third time
your best friend talk to you privately
saying that you are no longer as a best friend
just because you don't do something that your best friend expect
your partner hold hands
but together with a serious conversation
telling you that you've changed
for the reasons that you don't wanna do what he wanted you to do
your parents have a dinner with you
and a crucial spoken words
warning you about their ideas
they insist you that you ought to have their plans on your track
let me complete my note utterly,
by saying ..
if your best friend said that you were no longer as a good best friend ,
then just let it go but it doesn't mean you are a defective friend
but it's just you don't have to waste your time for such friends like that ..
if your partner said that you've changed just faced it and you better off alone i supposed ..
you are precious and you can manage your own life without being told by anyone ..
if your parents warned you about your future , simply just nodded your head cos if you challenged them,
if your parents warned you about your future , simply just nodded your head cos if you challenged them,
you would have a feud ..
but instead of agreeing , you have to plan your own life what are you going to become ..
♥ Joanna
♥ Joanna
Bless Your Little Heart
Dedicated for a person ..
Someone that you always love with ur truly heart
Someone that you always think every second
You will never ever get over it ..
When you want to spend your life forever
When you are certain that the person you love is the right person for you
You will realize that the person you love isn't meant for you
And if you seek inside your heart
You'll find a broken heart ..
As time goes by
Everything has changed
If only you have one wish
To change the situation
Or maybe you write a note to God to have a second life
Just to be with him,
You will recognize that he is not here to be own by you ..
An indescribable feeling
An indestructible love
That you will never forget
It will cause u a great pain
And you will never know when it will get better ..
When you realize the imperfection of love
And when the person want to show that
There isn't only a past time but also a new hope
You will see that the person you love
Give millions of hopes but then,
That person will take it away from you just in a second ..
Somehow,
You already know what to do
You know which way that you should've taken
Its just you follow your little heart
Which tells you that there is a big chances that you can achieve ..
Bless your little heart ..
Be grateful for every scar that you get
Be thankful for every tears that had fallen from your eyes
Though it hurts so much,
All of us know that karma exists
All of us know that God always see through your life ..
Joanna -
Someone that you always love with ur truly heart
Someone that you always think every second
You will never ever get over it ..
When you want to spend your life forever
When you are certain that the person you love is the right person for you
You will realize that the person you love isn't meant for you
And if you seek inside your heart
You'll find a broken heart ..
As time goes by
Everything has changed
If only you have one wish
To change the situation
Or maybe you write a note to God to have a second life
Just to be with him,
You will recognize that he is not here to be own by you ..
An indescribable feeling
An indestructible love
That you will never forget
It will cause u a great pain
And you will never know when it will get better ..
When you realize the imperfection of love
And when the person want to show that
There isn't only a past time but also a new hope
You will see that the person you love
Give millions of hopes but then,
That person will take it away from you just in a second ..
Somehow,
You already know what to do
You know which way that you should've taken
Its just you follow your little heart
Which tells you that there is a big chances that you can achieve ..
Bless your little heart ..
Be grateful for every scar that you get
Be thankful for every tears that had fallen from your eyes
Though it hurts so much,
All of us know that karma exists
All of us know that God always see through your life ..
Joanna -
HOMESICK :(
Another day has come and gone away
there's a million people
but i still feel alone
my day is cold and flat
i often see planes
and today i see another plane
i feel like im going home ..
i am homesick
i just sit at the balcony
as in the twilight
and watch the birds chirping ..
i am homesick for the city
that i willing to remember
the city i hope to lived in
the city where fun exists ..
i am homesick
for the house where one received me with open arms
when i was sick,
everyone will stay for me ..
i am homesick
for the place that was full of laughter
i am homesick
for friends that are irreplaceable
i am homesick
for hands that stroked my face
i am homesick
for the fun that i used to have every day ..
i am homesick
for the food that my mom used to cook for me
i am homesick
for listening to the story of Jesus
and being taught a prayer for people who need help
i am homesick
for listening to the radio
which broadcasting about funny things
i am homesick
for TV which all the stations have comedies and gossips
that sometimes made me laugh
that sometimes made me worry ..
i am homesick
for the time when i was too innocent
to see the signs of betrayal
i am homesick
for the time when i did not see
the signs of what is bound to happen
sooner or later ..
i am homesick
for every single thing that i used to do and i used to have ..
Joanna -
there's a million people
but i still feel alone
my day is cold and flat
i often see planes
and today i see another plane
i feel like im going home ..
i am homesick
i just sit at the balcony
as in the twilight
and watch the birds chirping ..
i am homesick for the city
that i willing to remember
the city i hope to lived in
the city where fun exists ..
i am homesick
for the house where one received me with open arms
when i was sick,
everyone will stay for me ..
i am homesick
for the place that was full of laughter
i am homesick
for friends that are irreplaceable
i am homesick
for hands that stroked my face
i am homesick
for the fun that i used to have every day ..
i am homesick
for the food that my mom used to cook for me
i am homesick
for listening to the story of Jesus
and being taught a prayer for people who need help
i am homesick
for listening to the radio
which broadcasting about funny things
i am homesick
for TV which all the stations have comedies and gossips
that sometimes made me laugh
that sometimes made me worry ..
i am homesick
for the time when i was too innocent
to see the signs of betrayal
i am homesick
for the time when i did not see
the signs of what is bound to happen
sooner or later ..
i am homesick
for every single thing that i used to do and i used to have ..
Joanna -
Unresolved Puzzle
i run my fingers upon the keyboard
feeling the complete absence of sound
laughing was the last thing
that i felt like doing now
as i remind the moments which already happened ..
the essence of the day
is when you are able to be anxious
about what will happen in the next minute
i yanked off from my bed
i was mystified
and start to concern about the day..
sometimes i'm lurking myself from surly attitude
which illustrates the theme of unwelcome
words by words
sentences by sentences
i give up of counting those paragraphs
people lie one another
people cheat another people
people disguise themselves
just to run and chase the prize,
the star dazzle award which is money ..
money dimmish people's eyes to see the honesty
money create appeasement
can't engender themselves,
they fall into the darkness ..
i'm thinking pensively about this life
i know life aint easy
and i know that life is tentatively set
for only a limited period of time ..
for some reasons,
i ghastly myself for who ruin my feelings
how i wish that i can rewrite the pages
which had been written
however,
it's useless and pointless
can't change the past
it's unavoidable
but from there,
a lesson learned ..
Joanna -
feeling the complete absence of sound
laughing was the last thing
that i felt like doing now
as i remind the moments which already happened ..
the essence of the day
is when you are able to be anxious
about what will happen in the next minute
i yanked off from my bed
i was mystified
and start to concern about the day..
sometimes i'm lurking myself from surly attitude
which illustrates the theme of unwelcome
words by words
sentences by sentences
i give up of counting those paragraphs
people lie one another
people cheat another people
people disguise themselves
just to run and chase the prize,
the star dazzle award which is money ..
money dimmish people's eyes to see the honesty
money create appeasement
can't engender themselves,
they fall into the darkness ..
i'm thinking pensively about this life
i know life aint easy
and i know that life is tentatively set
for only a limited period of time ..
for some reasons,
i ghastly myself for who ruin my feelings
how i wish that i can rewrite the pages
which had been written
however,
it's useless and pointless
can't change the past
it's unavoidable
but from there,
a lesson learned ..
Joanna -
Convalescence
a day make differences
an age result in wizened pucker
i am strolling gracefully the day
sometimes i am grateful of what i have
when i am sleeping
with a dizzying jolt
my dream abruptly become a nightmare ..
i stare at myself
looking for some signs of impending moments in my life
i am entirely not able to avoid an abrupt moment
which about to happen ..
i struggle to get a grip on myself
despair momentarily vanish
i wonder what i will be in the next age
i always try to live my life eagerly
as i make my way to my eternal happiness ..
however
i hiss myself when there is a sign of no fluke
in life
there is always an impasse
which you can't do any better than stay in silence ..
on the other hand
most of the people tell me smugly about their money
but they will never know the true happiness that they can achieve ..
sometimes
im stammering and scrambling for an excuse
how if i have unlimited time on my hands
i have nothing to reciprocate with ?
how uncanny it will be ..
for some unfathomable reason,
God always want to be with me
i can't see Him
i can't touch Him
but
i believe He always stay besides me ..
as the day goes on
neither me nor people realize
that we will never know what will happen next ..
it is hazardous to force what we will never be
i speak to myself halfheartedly
" i am what i am .. "
" i have plans and ideas but .. "
" reality and wishes will never arise in life altogether .. "
i breathe uneven
and i tell myself
" i can do better than what i am now .. "
my pulse is thudding in my heart
im waiting to meet Him in my dream for the fourth times
frankly,
i often torture myself for life
provoke myself for unreason moments
i blanch at my own thoughts
a trace of pain touch my perfect features
then abruptly,
i pull myself up into a more happiness ..
when a scar comes into a heart
nothing can heals it
but when i come into a stage called convalescence
i will open my eyes widely
and realize that it was a mistake ..
moreover,
i will say virtuously
that i have to stand up for myself ..
i furtively enjoy myself not to have pain
and live the life slowly and easyly
i expect a perceptible difference in my days
and it happens as i think positively ..
with no daze,
i look up to the brightest star
and wish for a better life ..
Joanna -
an age result in wizened pucker
i am strolling gracefully the day
sometimes i am grateful of what i have
when i am sleeping
with a dizzying jolt
my dream abruptly become a nightmare ..
i stare at myself
looking for some signs of impending moments in my life
i am entirely not able to avoid an abrupt moment
which about to happen ..
i struggle to get a grip on myself
despair momentarily vanish
i wonder what i will be in the next age
i always try to live my life eagerly
as i make my way to my eternal happiness ..
however
i hiss myself when there is a sign of no fluke
in life
there is always an impasse
which you can't do any better than stay in silence ..
on the other hand
most of the people tell me smugly about their money
but they will never know the true happiness that they can achieve ..
sometimes
im stammering and scrambling for an excuse
how if i have unlimited time on my hands
i have nothing to reciprocate with ?
how uncanny it will be ..
for some unfathomable reason,
God always want to be with me
i can't see Him
i can't touch Him
but
i believe He always stay besides me ..
as the day goes on
neither me nor people realize
that we will never know what will happen next ..
it is hazardous to force what we will never be
i speak to myself halfheartedly
" i am what i am .. "
" i have plans and ideas but .. "
" reality and wishes will never arise in life altogether .. "
i breathe uneven
and i tell myself
" i can do better than what i am now .. "
my pulse is thudding in my heart
im waiting to meet Him in my dream for the fourth times
frankly,
i often torture myself for life
provoke myself for unreason moments
i blanch at my own thoughts
a trace of pain touch my perfect features
then abruptly,
i pull myself up into a more happiness ..
when a scar comes into a heart
nothing can heals it
but when i come into a stage called convalescence
i will open my eyes widely
and realize that it was a mistake ..
moreover,
i will say virtuously
that i have to stand up for myself ..
i furtively enjoy myself not to have pain
and live the life slowly and easyly
i expect a perceptible difference in my days
and it happens as i think positively ..
with no daze,
i look up to the brightest star
and wish for a better life ..
Joanna -
My Testimony About The Awesomeness Of God
i want to tell you something about the facts of God .. Maybe for people who hate Him and feel so distant to Him .. those people won't satisfy for anything in their life .. those people might be not be grateful of what they have and of what happened in their life ..
In this particular note, i want to tell something the awesomeness of God .. here i go ..
Problems are always in people's live .. you can't deny problems .. you can't run away from them .. maybe you can hide from them just for a while but not forever .. for the past few months,
i have a problem that i can never solve by myself and my own mind .. feeling took control of me .. mind didn't work at all .. feels like i was hypnotized .. how bad it is ..
i pray to God everyday .. asked questions .. wanted answers .. even i blamed to Him of what had happened to me .. sounds crazy or even worst .. but thats what i did for the past few months ..
i feel very bad and im sorry for blaming him of what have happened to me .. and i do mean sorry ..
my problem is always the same .. its all about the feelings .. all about heart's matters ..
i can say that my life is perfect except about heart's matters .. i have everything in my life .. a perfect family .. a great fortune .. an amazing future .. best friends .. its about everything ..
but its only one thing that i never feel in a great way .. it is about a feeling that i never feel satisfy .. what a pity ! and these past few months .. i have a problem with this .. i tried to run away .. i tried to hide .. even i tried to ignore the problem .. but it didn't work at all yet it became worst and worst each day .. i used my own strength to solve this problem .. i forgot about Him .. i blamed Him .. i didn't even pray .. i know that i am wrong .. and i should never do this .. but at that time, it was out of my control .. out of my mind .. im sorry Dad ..
hmmm .. maybe God is getting bored to hear my sentence of " i am sorry " .. i keep on repeating that sentence whenever i do a mistake in every single day .. but My God doesn't see that thing .. He is willing to forgive me of every single mistake that i did .. He forgave me .. He cares about me .. He remembers me .. He loves me .. He understands me .. He arranged my life ..He is my everything ..
until one day .. i felt fed up of my problem .. that i surrendered .. i gave up .. i couldn't do much than this .. i'm tired .. i'm restless .. i'm kinda of fucked up .. i told God of my problem .. i talked to Him .. i pray .. i surrender .. i put my problem upon His feet .. for the first 3 days, i didn't have any answer .. i keep on waiting .. waiting .. and waiting .. and today , he gave me an answer through 2 of my friends .. he said, " COME TO ME" .. im so happy .. its an indescribable feeling !!!! ..
I feel so grateful of this .. i thought he forgot about me .. i thought he would never forgive me .. i thought he didn't want to stand beside me again .. but i was totally wrong .. cos you know what?! HE STILL CARES FOR ME .. he still understands me .. I LOVE YOU God ..
how great He is .. how awesome He is .. HE NEVER FORGET ABOUT ME .. NEVER EVEN FOR 1 SECOND .. now i know .. He always watching me .. even though i can't see him .. i know he is always be by my side .. and through this note .. i want to tell you God, that i miss to see you in my dream again .. i want to see you in my dream for the fourth times .. i'll be waiting ..
and i decided .. when i feel desperate and when there's no way out for my problems, i choose to move on and continue and fight for live .. when i don't understand God's plan, i choose to keep believing on Him .. when i face a disappointment, i choose to be thankful and grateful of what happens to me .. when my plans of life mess up, i choose to repent myself to Him and when i want to judge people who mistreat me, i choose to forgive them ..
Thank you My Great God , My Dear True Friend and My Awesome Dad ..
♥ U FOREVER ..
P.S. For those people who don't believe in Him and for people who hate Him .. i believe that God had arranged a time for them to believe in HIm .. though He never insist people to come to Him .. it's their choice of life ..
Joanna -
In this particular note, i want to tell something the awesomeness of God .. here i go ..
Problems are always in people's live .. you can't deny problems .. you can't run away from them .. maybe you can hide from them just for a while but not forever .. for the past few months,
i have a problem that i can never solve by myself and my own mind .. feeling took control of me .. mind didn't work at all .. feels like i was hypnotized .. how bad it is ..
i pray to God everyday .. asked questions .. wanted answers .. even i blamed to Him of what had happened to me .. sounds crazy or even worst .. but thats what i did for the past few months ..
i feel very bad and im sorry for blaming him of what have happened to me .. and i do mean sorry ..
my problem is always the same .. its all about the feelings .. all about heart's matters ..
i can say that my life is perfect except about heart's matters .. i have everything in my life .. a perfect family .. a great fortune .. an amazing future .. best friends .. its about everything ..
but its only one thing that i never feel in a great way .. it is about a feeling that i never feel satisfy .. what a pity ! and these past few months .. i have a problem with this .. i tried to run away .. i tried to hide .. even i tried to ignore the problem .. but it didn't work at all yet it became worst and worst each day .. i used my own strength to solve this problem .. i forgot about Him .. i blamed Him .. i didn't even pray .. i know that i am wrong .. and i should never do this .. but at that time, it was out of my control .. out of my mind .. im sorry Dad ..
hmmm .. maybe God is getting bored to hear my sentence of " i am sorry " .. i keep on repeating that sentence whenever i do a mistake in every single day .. but My God doesn't see that thing .. He is willing to forgive me of every single mistake that i did .. He forgave me .. He cares about me .. He remembers me .. He loves me .. He understands me .. He arranged my life ..He is my everything ..
until one day .. i felt fed up of my problem .. that i surrendered .. i gave up .. i couldn't do much than this .. i'm tired .. i'm restless .. i'm kinda of fucked up .. i told God of my problem .. i talked to Him .. i pray .. i surrender .. i put my problem upon His feet .. for the first 3 days, i didn't have any answer .. i keep on waiting .. waiting .. and waiting .. and today , he gave me an answer through 2 of my friends .. he said, " COME TO ME" .. im so happy .. its an indescribable feeling !!!! ..
I feel so grateful of this .. i thought he forgot about me .. i thought he would never forgive me .. i thought he didn't want to stand beside me again .. but i was totally wrong .. cos you know what?! HE STILL CARES FOR ME .. he still understands me .. I LOVE YOU God ..
how great He is .. how awesome He is .. HE NEVER FORGET ABOUT ME .. NEVER EVEN FOR 1 SECOND .. now i know .. He always watching me .. even though i can't see him .. i know he is always be by my side .. and through this note .. i want to tell you God, that i miss to see you in my dream again .. i want to see you in my dream for the fourth times .. i'll be waiting ..
and i decided .. when i feel desperate and when there's no way out for my problems, i choose to move on and continue and fight for live .. when i don't understand God's plan, i choose to keep believing on Him .. when i face a disappointment, i choose to be thankful and grateful of what happens to me .. when my plans of life mess up, i choose to repent myself to Him and when i want to judge people who mistreat me, i choose to forgive them ..
Thank you My Great God , My Dear True Friend and My Awesome Dad ..
♥ U FOREVER ..
P.S. For those people who don't believe in Him and for people who hate Him .. i believe that God had arranged a time for them to believe in HIm .. though He never insist people to come to Him .. it's their choice of life ..
Joanna -
Do Girls Need Any Man?
girls .. here we are .. we are the goddess for the world .. and how about men ..?
does each girl need any man just to make her world to be more complete?
well it depends .. maybe some girls will say yes and may not ..
and ...
how can we define man ..? do men meant to be the partner of women's life?
do men always act cruel or fool? we'll never know .. cos we never find the real fact of men ..
men are so great of playing games of life .. men are so amazing that they can act for real ..
they can pretend as much as they want to .. as in result , truth is hard to find ..
what do girls ask for from men ..? the basic answer is about true love .. but i tell you, there is no true love in this world .. when it comes to jealousy, money, hatred .... true love is no longer a true love .. hmm wait a minute .. what do u mean by love? how do you interpret love ?
is love about feelings only? is love about money only? or is love about benefits? or somehow honesty ?..... who knows ..
there is a lot of stories if u want to explore in this universe ..
a couple love each other .. they break up and then make up .. and it keeps repeating .. so what's the point of being in a relationship ..? it's pointless ...
as i learned from my friends stories .. men are always take benefits from women ..
this is how they role in a relationship .. at first, they try so hard to get you .. they act so nice and they treat you in a very great way .. then women will feel that no other man can treat them as nice as this man .. second, after they get what they chased, they will be a "fire" of relationship .. they will tell you how much they love you EVERY SINGLE TIME .. as much as they can.. but wait girls, that will only happen for a few months .. remember , nothing last forever .. just because they do that to us .. they have our love,heart,mind and trust .. and they start to act fool or dumb maybe .. for some guys, they want to "test" us .. how much we love them .. do cheating, trying not to care, act like they dont need you .. or maybe for some other guys, they just get bored of you and they try to abandoned you .. left you in sorrow ..
and that's how they do ..
im not saying that every man in this world is like that .. BUT most of them do that to girls ..
men always wanted to be love by a lot of girls but they only fall for one girl! how selfish they are ..
well i can't deny it .. there is a lot of girls that do that too but not as much as men ..
for some nice girls, they don't need diamond to make them happy .. they don't need a hand just to grab "a thing" .. they don't need a man to make a better life just with money ..
and they don't need a ring in their finger just to make them complete .. NO they dont!
all they ask for is only a love .. means .. they need a man that they can rely on .. they need a man that understand how they feel .. they need a man that can make them laugh and cry ..
they need attention! most of girls are demanding of anything ..
there is a sentence .. " the more you try to sell .. the less i buy it " .. actually for me its quite true .. they don't like aggressive men .. i mean a bit too much .. it's a big NO NO ..
they need an equal to capture their heart .. women need a man who takes responsibility for his actions and understands the consequences are his .. women need
a man who can share his feelings without letting them overwhelm him on a daily basis ..
girls .. i tell you something .. characteristics of a good man will tell you what he stands for, the values he lives by, and the morals that shape his behaviour.. this determines how he treats you and how he treats himself .. and the most important thing is about the personality .. personality is the way he presents himself to the world .. the way he expresses himself on the outside .. if you find a man who is committed to growing and improving himself as a person that he wants to learn everything he can about being a better person .. he should make you feel good when you are with him and he does not allow other people mistreat you .. this is a characteristic of a good man..steer clear of the man who is a negative person who is always complaining cos this type of person will drain all your energy and bring you down ..
sometimes i don't understand why a girl really wants to do anything just to make the lover feels happy? tho the girl knows that man is not for them .. tho she knows that the man shows that they are not welcome in his life .. is it maybe because the girl care too much about the man or is she stupid or something? ........
does anyone has a suggestion for this question .. or maybe an answer *hmm that'll be great LOL*
Joanna -
does each girl need any man just to make her world to be more complete?
well it depends .. maybe some girls will say yes and may not ..
and ...
how can we define man ..? do men meant to be the partner of women's life?
do men always act cruel or fool? we'll never know .. cos we never find the real fact of men ..
men are so great of playing games of life .. men are so amazing that they can act for real ..
they can pretend as much as they want to .. as in result , truth is hard to find ..
what do girls ask for from men ..? the basic answer is about true love .. but i tell you, there is no true love in this world .. when it comes to jealousy, money, hatred .... true love is no longer a true love .. hmm wait a minute .. what do u mean by love? how do you interpret love ?
is love about feelings only? is love about money only? or is love about benefits? or somehow honesty ?..... who knows ..
there is a lot of stories if u want to explore in this universe ..
a couple love each other .. they break up and then make up .. and it keeps repeating .. so what's the point of being in a relationship ..? it's pointless ...
as i learned from my friends stories .. men are always take benefits from women ..
this is how they role in a relationship .. at first, they try so hard to get you .. they act so nice and they treat you in a very great way .. then women will feel that no other man can treat them as nice as this man .. second, after they get what they chased, they will be a "fire" of relationship .. they will tell you how much they love you EVERY SINGLE TIME .. as much as they can.. but wait girls, that will only happen for a few months .. remember , nothing last forever .. just because they do that to us .. they have our love,heart,mind and trust .. and they start to act fool or dumb maybe .. for some guys, they want to "test" us .. how much we love them .. do cheating, trying not to care, act like they dont need you .. or maybe for some other guys, they just get bored of you and they try to abandoned you .. left you in sorrow ..
and that's how they do ..
im not saying that every man in this world is like that .. BUT most of them do that to girls ..
men always wanted to be love by a lot of girls but they only fall for one girl! how selfish they are ..
well i can't deny it .. there is a lot of girls that do that too but not as much as men ..
for some nice girls, they don't need diamond to make them happy .. they don't need a hand just to grab "a thing" .. they don't need a man to make a better life just with money ..
and they don't need a ring in their finger just to make them complete .. NO they dont!
all they ask for is only a love .. means .. they need a man that they can rely on .. they need a man that understand how they feel .. they need a man that can make them laugh and cry ..
they need attention! most of girls are demanding of anything ..
there is a sentence .. " the more you try to sell .. the less i buy it " .. actually for me its quite true .. they don't like aggressive men .. i mean a bit too much .. it's a big NO NO ..
they need an equal to capture their heart .. women need a man who takes responsibility for his actions and understands the consequences are his .. women need
a man who can share his feelings without letting them overwhelm him on a daily basis ..
girls .. i tell you something .. characteristics of a good man will tell you what he stands for, the values he lives by, and the morals that shape his behaviour.. this determines how he treats you and how he treats himself .. and the most important thing is about the personality .. personality is the way he presents himself to the world .. the way he expresses himself on the outside .. if you find a man who is committed to growing and improving himself as a person that he wants to learn everything he can about being a better person .. he should make you feel good when you are with him and he does not allow other people mistreat you .. this is a characteristic of a good man..steer clear of the man who is a negative person who is always complaining cos this type of person will drain all your energy and bring you down ..
sometimes i don't understand why a girl really wants to do anything just to make the lover feels happy? tho the girl knows that man is not for them .. tho she knows that the man shows that they are not welcome in his life .. is it maybe because the girl care too much about the man or is she stupid or something? ........
does anyone has a suggestion for this question .. or maybe an answer *hmm that'll be great LOL*
Joanna -
Problems Make Us Become A Better Person
it is common for us, human being
that we should live a life happily ever after
each person in this world demands not to have sadness,worries,problems,disappointment,weary,tears ..
however,
the reality of life is not always like that,
we live a live with many problems ..
God never promised to humankind
that there is no problem to worry about
yet He promised us that He will always be with us ..
When we have troubles
which make live a life in despair and sorrow
God wanted us to fight for it
not to run away and hide yourselves from problems
It is important and we ought to realize
that we can solve and find a way out in problems
when we believe that God has something to show us ..
a problem is more than a problem
it has it's own meaning
but it depends in what kind of thoughts that you think of ..
For some reasons,
people have minds which is clear enough
that God only stands with us when we are rich in joy and happiness
but not in despair or when troubles come
Our life is unpredictable
and it depends on situations that we have ..
If God let troubles occur in our life
that means that He will show a meaning and provide us with His power ..
but this will only happen for those people
who believe the existence of God ..
However, we also need to know
that it is possible for us to have troubles in life
because we aren't in His way which He already created a plan for each of us ..
Remember one important thing :
He is always there for us and never late to help us ..
in other words, he is always "ON TIME "
problems will make us better and not bitter ..
Joanna -
that we should live a life happily ever after
each person in this world demands not to have sadness,worries,problems,d
however,
the reality of life is not always like that,
we live a live with many problems ..
God never promised to humankind
that there is no problem to worry about
yet He promised us that He will always be with us ..
When we have troubles
which make live a life in despair and sorrow
God wanted us to fight for it
not to run away and hide yourselves from problems
It is important and we ought to realize
that we can solve and find a way out in problems
when we believe that God has something to show us ..
a problem is more than a problem
it has it's own meaning
but it depends in what kind of thoughts that you think of ..
For some reasons,
people have minds which is clear enough
that God only stands with us when we are rich in joy and happiness
but not in despair or when troubles come
Our life is unpredictable
and it depends on situations that we have ..
If God let troubles occur in our life
that means that He will show a meaning and provide us with His power ..
but this will only happen for those people
who believe the existence of God ..
However, we also need to know
that it is possible for us to have troubles in life
because we aren't in His way which He already created a plan for each of us ..
Remember one important thing :
He is always there for us and never late to help us ..
in other words, he is always "ON TIME "
problems will make us better and not bitter ..
Joanna -
I Don't Understand
there are many things happen in this life
there is less trust in this life
there are lots of love don't go well in this life
there isn't much care in this life
each person in this life cares about themselves ..
i dont understand
how people think about life
i dont understand
what people are trying to achieve in this life
i dont understand
why it is only money in people's mind
i dont understand
why people like to hate one another
i dont understand
how people mistreat one another
i dont understand
why love has to presence in this life
i dont understand
how people make decisions without thinking
i dont understand
how many people take chances for something that wouldn't be done
i dont understand
why people still fight for love when they know it's impossible
i dont understand
how people sacrifice themselves for someone
i dont understand
why reality and dreams couldn't go together
i dont understand
why there must be a lie
i dont understand
how people consider a life as a game
i dont understand
how people have pain
i dont understand
why people have to hide the truth when it has already been revealed
i dont understand
why there must be a meeting when there's a goodbye
i dont understand
how people say love
i dont understand
what is in people's mind
i dont understand
how in relationship there's a break up and make up
i dont understand
why we have a lesson learned in this life
i dont understand
why people are desire for sex
i dont understand
how to trust someone
i dont understand
how to recognize a person whether that someone is for real or not
there's a lot of thing that i still dont realized
there's a lot of thing which i still dont understand
life's complicated ..
life's rocky mountain ..
moreover,
life's a smooth path ..
Joanna -
there is less trust in this life
there are lots of love don't go well in this life
there isn't much care in this life
each person in this life cares about themselves ..
i dont understand
how people think about life
i dont understand
what people are trying to achieve in this life
i dont understand
why it is only money in people's mind
i dont understand
why people like to hate one another
i dont understand
how people mistreat one another
i dont understand
why love has to presence in this life
i dont understand
how people make decisions without thinking
i dont understand
how many people take chances for something that wouldn't be done
i dont understand
why people still fight for love when they know it's impossible
i dont understand
how people sacrifice themselves for someone
i dont understand
why reality and dreams couldn't go together
i dont understand
why there must be a lie
i dont understand
how people consider a life as a game
i dont understand
how people have pain
i dont understand
why people have to hide the truth when it has already been revealed
i dont understand
why there must be a meeting when there's a goodbye
i dont understand
how people say love
i dont understand
what is in people's mind
i dont understand
how in relationship there's a break up and make up
i dont understand
why we have a lesson learned in this life
i dont understand
why people are desire for sex
i dont understand
how to trust someone
i dont understand
how to recognize a person whether that someone is for real or not
there's a lot of thing that i still dont realized
there's a lot of thing which i still dont understand
life's complicated ..
life's rocky mountain ..
moreover,
life's a smooth path ..
Joanna -
Lost..
once again i stuck in the same way
after all are said and done
only emptiness surrounds me
look what i've become
love can make a million promises
but it still won't change
it isn't right to stay together
when it only brings each other pain
i see a distant light
but something keep us hanging on and on
pretending not to know the difference
denying what we had is gone
every moment we're together
it's just breaking me down
it hurts too much to stay around
something just went wrong
something just turned down
i can't go on believing or make believing
of all the things I believed in
i just want to get it over with
counting the days that pass me by
i still get lost in your eyes
and it seems that I can't live a day without you
closing my eyes
and you chase my thoughts away
but it's not right
it hurts to want everything
and nothing at the same time
there's nothing else that i can say
there's no definition that i can define
what else should i give up to?
we aint talk since we left
and its overdue
i know this is the part where the end starts
i can't take this any longer for some reasons
i'm in between of letting go and staying in
everyday takes the same old scene
i know i carry on like nothing's wrong
but there is no more time for lies
cause from what i see
we've lost ..
Joanna
after all are said and done
only emptiness surrounds me
look what i've become
love can make a million promises
but it still won't change
it isn't right to stay together
when it only brings each other pain
i see a distant light
but something keep us hanging on and on
pretending not to know the difference
denying what we had is gone
every moment we're together
it's just breaking me down
it hurts too much to stay around
something just went wrong
something just turned down
i can't go on believing or make believing
of all the things I believed in
i just want to get it over with
counting the days that pass me by
i still get lost in your eyes
and it seems that I can't live a day without you
closing my eyes
and you chase my thoughts away
but it's not right
it hurts to want everything
and nothing at the same time
there's nothing else that i can say
there's no definition that i can define
what else should i give up to?
we aint talk since we left
and its overdue
i know this is the part where the end starts
i can't take this any longer for some reasons
i'm in between of letting go and staying in
everyday takes the same old scene
i know i carry on like nothing's wrong
but there is no more time for lies
cause from what i see
we've lost ..
Joanna
Time To Grow
i feel something for these days
i couldnt sleep well
i couldnt think clearly
though i insist myself to do so ..
for me,
coincidence doesn't exist
nothing happens with apparent causal connection
a moment is made of purpose
cos life itself is based on purposes ..
nobody is wrong and everything has been done
what just happened was a past time
that it shouldn't be a memory
but you should never deny it ..
life has good times and bad times
when i experience good times
i feel like im the happiest person
i feel like im so precious
no tears
no sadness
no pain
no worries
everything seems fall into the right place
although i know i will face bad times soon
matter fact, i don't know when ..
in the other hand,
when i experience bad times
i think i will never go through this problem
i say it to myself that i am so dumb
make the same mistakes
sacrifice myself for love easily
it just makes me look fool
when im in problems where sadness strikes me
i aint afraid to cry
cos its better for me to cry
rather than i keep it myself ..
tears are gone
sadness left
it's time for me to stand up for myself
and promise to love me genuinely
swear that i have to consider myself as an invaluable treasure
and protect myself and my heart more
i do my best to think
that life is not only about love
life is not only about happiness
life is not only about money
but life is also about tenderness
life is about willingness to accept the truth
life is about sacrifice something
life is about to be mature and wise
either in minds or attitudes ..
and the times for crying is over
it's the time for my dreams to be heard
its the time for my life to be fulfill ....
i couldnt sleep well
i couldnt think clearly
though i insist myself to do so ..
for me,
coincidence doesn't exist
nothing happens with apparent causal connection
a moment is made of purpose
cos life itself is based on purposes ..
nobody is wrong and everything has been done
what just happened was a past time
that it shouldn't be a memory
but you should never deny it ..
life has good times and bad times
when i experience good times
i feel like im the happiest person
i feel like im so precious
no tears
no sadness
no pain
no worries
everything seems fall into the right place
although i know i will face bad times soon
matter fact, i don't know when ..
in the other hand,
when i experience bad times
i think i will never go through this problem
i say it to myself that i am so dumb
make the same mistakes
sacrifice myself for love easily
it just makes me look fool
when im in problems where sadness strikes me
i aint afraid to cry
cos its better for me to cry
rather than i keep it myself ..
tears are gone
sadness left
it's time for me to stand up for myself
and promise to love me genuinely
swear that i have to consider myself as an invaluable treasure
and protect myself and my heart more
i do my best to think
that life is not only about love
life is not only about happiness
life is not only about money
but life is also about tenderness
life is about willingness to accept the truth
life is about sacrifice something
life is about to be mature and wise
either in minds or attitudes ..
and the times for crying is over
it's the time for my dreams to be heard
its the time for my life to be fulfill ....
A Note To God
if i could have write a note to God
i would say what's in my mind
i'd ask for all burdens to be swept away
if i could have write a note to God
i would pour my thoughts on each paper
i'd ask for all life to be happy
i'd ask for peace to all people in this universe
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask God for strength to live this life
i'd ask for God to help us to find a true love
cos love is overdue
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask for God to give us some clues of ways
i'd ask for faith and beliefs
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask God to give us hope when all hopes are gone
i'd ask God to make this world a better place to live
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask God for wisdom to live this harsh life
i'd ask God to be always with me
in each step that i take
if i could have write a note to God
i'd tell God that i couldn't live by myself
therefore i need Him
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask God for true happiness in life
i'd ask God to swept all the pain in people
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask God to turn life to become more worth-while to live
i'd ask God to swept away all tears that had fallen
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask God for forgiveness to those people that dont believe in Him
i'd ask God not to fierce and being distant to people that hate Him
This life has been a hard one ..
No one ever can stand it ..
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask God that i wanted to meet him soon ..
Joanna -
i would say what's in my mind
i'd ask for all burdens to be swept away
if i could have write a note to God
i would pour my thoughts on each paper
i'd ask for all life to be happy
i'd ask for peace to all people in this universe
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask God for strength to live this life
i'd ask for God to help us to find a true love
cos love is overdue
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask for God to give us some clues of ways
i'd ask for faith and beliefs
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask God to give us hope when all hopes are gone
i'd ask God to make this world a better place to live
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask God for wisdom to live this harsh life
i'd ask God to be always with me
in each step that i take
if i could have write a note to God
i'd tell God that i couldn't live by myself
therefore i need Him
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask God for true happiness in life
i'd ask God to swept all the pain in people
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask God to turn life to become more worth-while to live
i'd ask God to swept away all tears that had fallen
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask God for forgiveness to those people that dont believe in Him
i'd ask God not to fierce and being distant to people that hate Him
This life has been a hard one ..
No one ever can stand it ..
if i could have write a note to God
i'd ask God that i wanted to meet him soon ..
Joanna -
A Journey Of Life
Day by day passed
And all I know is
People worry about their own life
Even while they are eating
They talk about life
They talk how to get money
They talk how to survive
Why do people always have mind about this?
Some people say
That life is made by choices
Some people say
That you just have to let it flow
Instead of worrying about life
I know that living a life in this age
Is not that easy
There is a lot of pressure to carry on
There is a lot of problems to solve
There is a lot of feelings to think of
But ..
Should we always keep these burdens onto our life?
Can't we take a break in the middle of the war?
Or should we just go on without whining?
Well I guess
We have to balance our life
There is time to rest
There is time to fight for life
But sometimes,
People who never know what the true life is
Always fight for life without a break
In the end,
They will find a failure ..
In that mean time,
They will regret it ..
Someone who give up in the middle of the war
Always has an excuse to run away ..
They try to find another way
To get and to achieve according to their goal ..
However,
That way doesn't always work ..
Therefore..
I know that in life we need efforts
We need trust and power to continue our life
But remember ..
Don't strain ourselves
if times prove that we are not in that path
Cos u will finally realize
That u are in the wrong way ..
Joanna -
And all I know is
People worry about their own life
Even while they are eating
They talk about life
They talk how to get money
They talk how to survive
Why do people always have mind about this?
Some people say
That life is made by choices
Some people say
That you just have to let it flow
Instead of worrying about life
I know that living a life in this age
Is not that easy
There is a lot of pressure to carry on
There is a lot of problems to solve
There is a lot of feelings to think of
But ..
Should we always keep these burdens onto our life?
Can't we take a break in the middle of the war?
Or should we just go on without whining?
Well I guess
We have to balance our life
There is time to rest
There is time to fight for life
But sometimes,
People who never know what the true life is
Always fight for life without a break
In the end,
They will find a failure ..
In that mean time,
They will regret it ..
Someone who give up in the middle of the war
Always has an excuse to run away ..
They try to find another way
To get and to achieve according to their goal ..
However,
That way doesn't always work ..
Therefore..
I know that in life we need efforts
We need trust and power to continue our life
But remember ..
Don't strain ourselves
if times prove that we are not in that path
Cos u will finally realize
That u are in the wrong way ..
Joanna -
People Judgments
sit down
get bored
thinking of random thoughts
have nothing to say
eating choco
and no more cigars
cos i commit to quit ..
hmm ..
what am i now ?
what is my personality?
somehow i couldnt find myself
like im lost?
not really ..
well ,
people say that i am stubborn
people say that i always in rush in anything
people say that i always worry about certain things
people say that sometimes im too self-centered
people say that i used to be a person that didnt give a damn of anything
people say that i am stupid cos im too willing to sacrifice myself for a man
people say that i always play in a safe zone
therefore i still dont recognize what life is
people say that i never realized my own mistake until i hit it myself
people say that i am too kind
people say that i am friendly
people say that i am lovable cos i love kids
people say that i have to build more of my self-awareness
people say that i am a hardworker
people say that i am ambitious cos i have to get what i want to have
people say that i am perfectionist
people say that i am too care of my appearance
people say that i have everything
people say that i have extra credits of life
well ..
thats what people say about me ..
what can i say now ..?
im thinking of those personalities that they've mentioned
is it right or wrong?
its crucial for me to know about it
and all of the personalities are true ..
cos i do have it now ..
but
for my true and real personality ?
who knows ...
and no one knows ..
get bored
thinking of random thoughts
have nothing to say
eating choco
and no more cigars
cos i commit to quit ..
hmm ..
what am i now ?
what is my personality?
somehow i couldnt find myself
like im lost?
not really ..
well ,
people say that i am stubborn
people say that i always in rush in anything
people say that i always worry about certain things
people say that sometimes im too self-centered
people say that i used to be a person that didnt give a damn of anything
people say that i am stupid cos im too willing to sacrifice myself for a man
people say that i always play in a safe zone
therefore i still dont recognize what life is
people say that i never realized my own mistake until i hit it myself
people say that i am too kind
people say that i am friendly
people say that i am lovable cos i love kids
people say that i have to build more of my self-awareness
people say that i am a hardworker
people say that i am ambitious cos i have to get what i want to have
people say that i am perfectionist
people say that i am too care of my appearance
people say that i have everything
people say that i have extra credits of life
well ..
thats what people say about me ..
what can i say now ..?
im thinking of those personalities that they've mentioned
is it right or wrong?
its crucial for me to know about it
and all of the personalities are true ..
cos i do have it now ..
but
for my true and real personality ?
who knows ...
and no one knows ..
no-offense
i still remember
when i was still in my own home town
i was so eager to live by myself in another city
i left my home town even without tears
maybe there was a sadness
but not tears ..
i reached my new city
a lot of things to explore
a few things to learn
and i never thought
that i would have a lover from different culture
as life goes on
everything has changed
from time to time
i fall into the same mistake
i have my particular thoughts
of why im in the place again ..
someone told me
that i had to get over this
somebody told me
that i have to continue with this
someone-else told me
that i knew myself better than anyone
therefore i should know what to do
somebody-else told me
that i just had to go ahead and hold on trust
i am told of so many things ..
everyday and every second
i always try and do my best
to comfort someone ..
though sometimes im told to do something
that i dont like,
it doesnt bring any matter
cos im willing to be in this stage of condition ..
however,
sooner or later
if i still be in this situation
i will be fuck up
cos everyone has their own boundaries
everyone has their own limit
and i dont to become a person like that ..
Joanna-
when i was still in my own home town
i was so eager to live by myself in another city
i left my home town even without tears
maybe there was a sadness
but not tears ..
i reached my new city
a lot of things to explore
a few things to learn
and i never thought
that i would have a lover from different culture
as life goes on
everything has changed
from time to time
i fall into the same mistake
i have my particular thoughts
of why im in the place again ..
someone told me
that i had to get over this
somebody told me
that i have to continue with this
someone-else told me
that i knew myself better than anyone
therefore i should know what to do
somebody-else told me
that i just had to go ahead and hold on trust
i am told of so many things ..
everyday and every second
i always try and do my best
to comfort someone ..
though sometimes im told to do something
that i dont like,
it doesnt bring any matter
cos im willing to be in this stage of condition ..
however,
sooner or later
if i still be in this situation
i will be fuck up
cos everyone has their own boundaries
everyone has their own limit
and i dont to become a person like that ..
Joanna-
Lost Once
last night
i lie awake and watch him sleeping
he's lost in his dreams
he's lost in his nice sleep
therefore,
i turn out the light
and i lay there in the darkness
a lot of thoughts cross in my mind
how if tomorrow he has to go?
how if tomorrow i will never see him again?
how if tomorrow i see him already gone?
would he ever doubt the way i feel
about him in my heart?
i've lost love once in my life
who never knew how much i loved him
cos my true feelings to him never revealed
so i promised to myself
if i fall in love again
if i have my special man
i will show each day to him
how much i care and love him
and now i have one ..
but,
paths and ways are unclear now
i lost directions
he said i think too much
how can i avoid my thoughts
when i already know someone that i need
has chances to go from my side?
maybe he doesn't know how much i need him
but if he sees through me
and if only he knows me well,
he will find the answer ..
Joanna -
i lie awake and watch him sleeping
he's lost in his dreams
he's lost in his nice sleep
therefore,
i turn out the light
and i lay there in the darkness
a lot of thoughts cross in my mind
how if tomorrow he has to go?
how if tomorrow i will never see him again?
how if tomorrow i see him already gone?
would he ever doubt the way i feel
about him in my heart?
i've lost love once in my life
who never knew how much i loved him
cos my true feelings to him never revealed
so i promised to myself
if i fall in love again
if i have my special man
i will show each day to him
how much i care and love him
and now i have one ..
but,
paths and ways are unclear now
i lost directions
he said i think too much
how can i avoid my thoughts
when i already know someone that i need
has chances to go from my side?
maybe he doesn't know how much i need him
but if he sees through me
and if only he knows me well,
he will find the answer ..
Joanna -
Let It Be .....
Each day
I see a lot of women hurt
They are going to pack their tears away
They got no cause to look back
And they are searching for a better dfay
Some men declared that love is not enough
For women..
If the only love brings you is pain
There comes a time when we could make a change
Nobody want no broke heart
And nobody want two time losers
Aint nobody gonna love you truly for who you are
If you take whatever her brings your way
You will see if you deserve repect or not ..
For some times,
We can't ask for respect without change
Therefore,
There comes a time when we must go our own way ..
Sometimes love can work it out right
But sometimes you'll never know
But if the love only brings pain in your life
Don't be afraid to let it go ..
For some reasons
We just have to let it go ..
Cos time works at the precise moment
And everything's gonna work out right ..
Joanna-
I see a lot of women hurt
They are going to pack their tears away
They got no cause to look back
And they are searching for a better dfay
Some men declared that love is not enough
For women..
If the only love brings you is pain
There comes a time when we could make a change
Nobody want no broke heart
And nobody want two time losers
Aint nobody gonna love you truly for who you are
If you take whatever her brings your way
You will see if you deserve repect or not ..
For some times,
We can't ask for respect without change
Therefore,
There comes a time when we must go our own way ..
Sometimes love can work it out right
But sometimes you'll never know
But if the love only brings pain in your life
Don't be afraid to let it go ..
For some reasons
We just have to let it go ..
Cos time works at the precise moment
And everything's gonna work out right ..
Joanna-
life's unfair ..
i've been thinking for a long time
i'm not just thinking
but i do find the evidence
that life's unfair ..
when everything was perfect,
there was a little thing i left unsaid,
and now it feels to be all alone
and not believe anything
i got to open my eyes but in the wrong direction
nothing's looking quite so clear
it happened so fast
and now this change is going to hurt
watch as it destroys me,
am i going to stay this way forever ?
i never used to cry but I guess life’s unfair.
and this would have to be the story of the year.
some people say
that life is fair
some people advise
you ought to look behind you
but to me,
life's still unfair
no one even seems to care.
i cry and cry,
but it does no good.
everyone just assumes it's fine.
on the inside i'm dying
though i know I will eventually get by
i'll be okay one day,
but i don't know when is that "one day" ..
the fragile silence shatters
with a shift and a spoken word
i still sit and quiet reigns
on my thoughts of a life's unfair ..
when everything goes well
it is suddenly,
the good things gone
no clues
no hints
no signs
it just gone ..
is this what should we call as fairness?
i have something in my life
that i called a precious one
i consider " the precious " as my everything
but then,
"the precious" has to go
with a reasonable doubts yet unreasonable ..
is this what i should call fair,
when i already love and take a very good care of my precious one
and then suddenly it's gone?
is this what i called by equity?
hell no!
i really don't want to make myself bad
but i just can't help myself ..
unstable conditions
indescribable thoughts
uncertain times
broken feelings
all of them always in my mind
can i have a piece of good life?
can i own a better life?
Joanna
i'm not just thinking
but i do find the evidence
that life's unfair ..
when everything was perfect,
there was a little thing i left unsaid,
and now it feels to be all alone
and not believe anything
i got to open my eyes but in the wrong direction
nothing's looking quite so clear
it happened so fast
and now this change is going to hurt
watch as it destroys me,
am i going to stay this way forever ?
i never used to cry but I guess life’s unfair.
and this would have to be the story of the year.
some people say
that life is fair
some people advise
you ought to look behind you
but to me,
life's still unfair
no one even seems to care.
i cry and cry,
but it does no good.
everyone just assumes it's fine.
on the inside i'm dying
though i know I will eventually get by
i'll be okay one day,
but i don't know when is that "one day" ..
the fragile silence shatters
with a shift and a spoken word
i still sit and quiet reigns
on my thoughts of a life's unfair ..
when everything goes well
it is suddenly,
the good things gone
no clues
no hints
no signs
it just gone ..
is this what should we call as fairness?
i have something in my life
that i called a precious one
i consider " the precious " as my everything
but then,
"the precious" has to go
with a reasonable doubts yet unreasonable ..
is this what i should call fair,
when i already love and take a very good care of my precious one
and then suddenly it's gone?
is this what i called by equity?
hell no!
i really don't want to make myself bad
but i just can't help myself ..
unstable conditions
indescribable thoughts
uncertain times
broken feelings
all of them always in my mind
can i have a piece of good life?
can i own a better life?
Joanna
Ex-Best Friend
i never understand these days
there's a lot of people changed
from a bad person to be a better person
from a nice person turn to be hypocrite person
from an arrogant person changed to be a social person
you never realized when the people changed
until you noticed something's different than usual ..
some people changed for the power
some people changed for the lover
some people changed for the success
some people changed for fortune
some people changed for a game of life
some people changed because of others
some people changed because of jealousy
some people changed because of ambitions
and i cant ever insist people to be a better person
if he/she doesnt want to ..
i used to have a best friend
that i considered her as my family
laughed and cried together
been in primary to high school together
never had separation ..
but until one day,
everything was screwed up
no more friendship
no more laughter
no more happiness
all we had were madness and sorrow
when i sit alone and staring of all photos that i had
photos of me and her
that we used to have it before ..
i cried ..
i couldn't imagine
how separation could happened between these 2 girls ..
to be honest,
i miss those times ..
but she said , " we need time for that "
then i said, " yap .. true! "
since then,
she's gone ..
maybe she never think of this
maybe she never remember of those times
or even maybe she would never consider me as best friend
as i said before,
i will never insist someone to change ..
if she wants to change ,
she will be change for herself ..
for her own sake not because of someone-else ..
from this simple note,
i want to tell her ..
how much i miss her
how much i miss those times
how much i miss everything about her
in every single step she took with me before
i miss all of that ..
maybe someday,
you'll know how it feels to be left out by a best friend ..
Joanna -
there's a lot of people changed
from a bad person to be a better person
from a nice person turn to be hypocrite person
from an arrogant person changed to be a social person
you never realized when the people changed
until you noticed something's different than usual ..
some people changed for the power
some people changed for the lover
some people changed for the success
some people changed for fortune
some people changed for a game of life
some people changed because of others
some people changed because of jealousy
some people changed because of ambitions
and i cant ever insist people to be a better person
if he/she doesnt want to ..
i used to have a best friend
that i considered her as my family
laughed and cried together
been in primary to high school together
never had separation ..
but until one day,
everything was screwed up
no more friendship
no more laughter
no more happiness
all we had were madness and sorrow
when i sit alone and staring of all photos that i had
photos of me and her
that we used to have it before ..
i cried ..
i couldn't imagine
how separation could happened between these 2 girls ..
to be honest,
i miss those times ..
but she said , " we need time for that "
then i said, " yap .. true! "
since then,
she's gone ..
maybe she never think of this
maybe she never remember of those times
or even maybe she would never consider me as best friend
as i said before,
i will never insist someone to change ..
if she wants to change ,
she will be change for herself ..
for her own sake not because of someone-else ..
from this simple note,
i want to tell her ..
how much i miss her
how much i miss those times
how much i miss everything about her
in every single step she took with me before
i miss all of that ..
maybe someday,
you'll know how it feels to be left out by a best friend ..
Joanna -
Men In This Universe
every men in this world
sometimes they have obsessions
they insists to have what they want to own
and before they get into troubles
they have to choose ..
men's abiding happiness is not in getting anything
but in giving themselves up
to what is greater than themselves
to ideas which are larger than their individual life ..
men goes into the noisy crowd
to drown their own clamour of silence
men love party
men love women's appearance
men love games of life
for them,
life's gamble ..
most of men in this universe
are ambitious
their wants are to be love
but they only fall for one woman
before problems presence,
they have to answer of what they willing to give away ..
and when love comes into dilemma,
it causes pain and sorrow ..
man wants but little here below
nor wants that little long
each wish a mint of gold
they still should long for more
affectionate and fair
to solace all the woes of life
and all its joys to share
of temper sweet, of yielding will..
men want a warm and faithful friend
to cheer the adverse hour,
who never to flatter will descend
power and honest praise
to follow their behind
all a man needs in this world is a woman willing
willing to cater to him the way he caters to a woman
a woman willing to cater to his needs
all a man needs is that one real woman on whom he can depend ..
a man needs a real woman
not a chick thats bout a bunch of dumb games and bullshit ...
though for young men,
they like to play games of love in a woman
but it's not gonna be everlasting,
cos one day they will realize
that what they did before,
just wasting their time ..
all wants and needs of men are not easy yet not simple,
cos they love to make it complicated
they are eager to win
as for them,
life's gamble ..
Joanna -
sometimes they have obsessions
they insists to have what they want to own
and before they get into troubles
they have to choose ..
men's abiding happiness is not in getting anything
but in giving themselves up
to what is greater than themselves
to ideas which are larger than their individual life ..
men goes into the noisy crowd
to drown their own clamour of silence
men love party
men love women's appearance
men love games of life
for them,
life's gamble ..
most of men in this universe
are ambitious
their wants are to be love
but they only fall for one woman
before problems presence,
they have to answer of what they willing to give away ..
and when love comes into dilemma,
it causes pain and sorrow ..
man wants but little here below
nor wants that little long
each wish a mint of gold
they still should long for more
affectionate and fair
to solace all the woes of life
and all its joys to share
of temper sweet, of yielding will..
men want a warm and faithful friend
to cheer the adverse hour,
who never to flatter will descend
power and honest praise
to follow their behind
all a man needs in this world is a woman willing
willing to cater to him the way he caters to a woman
a woman willing to cater to his needs
all a man needs is that one real woman on whom he can depend ..
a man needs a real woman
not a chick thats bout a bunch of dumb games and bullshit ...
though for young men,
they like to play games of love in a woman
but it's not gonna be everlasting,
cos one day they will realize
that what they did before,
just wasting their time ..
all wants and needs of men are not easy yet not simple,
cos they love to make it complicated
they are eager to win
as for them,
life's gamble ..
Joanna -
When People Change .. " are u the same person in few years ago?"
people change
not in a long matter of time
they go from your friends to you enemies
in the blink of an eye
it's hard to let go
and it's hard to trust
because you don't know
if you'll be left, in the dust
so be careful who you friends may be
because they could go behind you back a month
in a week or a day
people change ..
sometimes people change
maybe for the best
or maybe for the worst
but no matter what
things will never be the same ..
when you change your thinking
you change your beliefs
when you change your beliefs
you change your expectations
when you change your expectations
you change our attitudes
when change your Attitude,
you change your behaviour
when you change your behaviour
you change your performance
when you change your performance
you change your life ..
we sometimes say, "we need a change"
as a change is good as a rest
but often fail to ponder
if change is for the best ..
when we feel change
we will do the trick
and it’s time for a change
do we really stop to think
and have a frank exchange?
for “change,
for change’s sake” can mean that
as our life have faded
when we change the way of living
our life look jaded
and if we change too many things
in way or form
then constant need to change occurs
and change becomes the norm.
and change becomes our mentor
as change succeeds each change
and every changeless constant
that stays unchanged seems strange
and so, if you’re sore tempted
to spawn unneeded change
just change your mind
and see that you don’t change it for a change ..
change can happen
when you get the chance
change can happen
without a passing glance
change can change everything in your path
change is the resistance to the things in the past
change is what people have to do to make theyre lives good
as we get older we change
the people around us change
but do we realy realize that we change?
we can notice a change in others but
can we notice a change in ourselves?
as well as we notice a change in the people around us
often people say
"wow you havent changed a bit"
but the truth is
we have changed alot more than we think that we have changed
so go to a mirror and take a good look at yourself
and ask this simple question
"am i the same person in few years ago?"
Joanna -
not in a long matter of time
they go from your friends to you enemies
in the blink of an eye
it's hard to let go
and it's hard to trust
because you don't know
if you'll be left, in the dust
so be careful who you friends may be
because they could go behind you back a month
in a week or a day
people change ..
sometimes people change
maybe for the best
or maybe for the worst
but no matter what
things will never be the same ..
when you change your thinking
you change your beliefs
when you change your beliefs
you change your expectations
when you change your expectations
you change our attitudes
when change your Attitude,
you change your behaviour
when you change your behaviour
you change your performance
when you change your performance
you change your life ..
we sometimes say, "we need a change"
as a change is good as a rest
but often fail to ponder
if change is for the best ..
when we feel change
we will do the trick
and it’s time for a change
do we really stop to think
and have a frank exchange?
for “change,
for change’s sake” can mean that
as our life have faded
when we change the way of living
our life look jaded
and if we change too many things
in way or form
then constant need to change occurs
and change becomes the norm.
and change becomes our mentor
as change succeeds each change
and every changeless constant
that stays unchanged seems strange
and so, if you’re sore tempted
to spawn unneeded change
just change your mind
and see that you don’t change it for a change ..
change can happen
when you get the chance
change can happen
without a passing glance
change can change everything in your path
change is the resistance to the things in the past
change is what people have to do to make theyre lives good
as we get older we change
the people around us change
but do we realy realize that we change?
we can notice a change in others but
can we notice a change in ourselves?
as well as we notice a change in the people around us
often people say
"wow you havent changed a bit"
but the truth is
we have changed alot more than we think that we have changed
so go to a mirror and take a good look at yourself
and ask this simple question
"am i the same person in few years ago?"
Joanna -
Unfair....
i feel something happening these days
something's not right
something strange that lies between us
i've been keeping this since few weeks ago
couldn't tell cos i wasn't sure
but sooner or later
i have to get things right into the place ..
but now i can tell,
that it might be the goodbye ..
i was down on my knees
pray to someone who create this universe
to give and show me ways
well .. i guess ..
this is it ..
i can see on that day
he act out
seemed not to care
seemed nothing happened
argued
fierce
madness
fear
all of them were mix together
that complete my night "wonderfully" ..
woke up in the morning
thought i was going to have a great day
and i was totally wrong
i had to accept reality
i had to face the truth
that not everything would go as i want to
that not everything would go smooth as i thought before
that i couldn't have everything in a time ..
i can't hardly believe
i felt the same feelings again
i can't hardly think
i was in the same position
and i can't believe
that i have to repeat the same story ..
last night i screamed to God
and asked a simple question,
" why did u take people that i love one by one? "
can anyone raise their hand up
and give me an answer ..?
here comes the start of the sleepless night
here comes the pain
here comes me wishing things had never changed
i can hear him says I love you like it was yesterday
and I can see it written on his face
that he had never felt this way ..
but why did things go like this ?
why does it have to go from good to gone?
It is unfair
and i dont feel fair for myself ..
Joanna -
something's not right
something strange that lies between us
i've been keeping this since few weeks ago
couldn't tell cos i wasn't sure
but sooner or later
i have to get things right into the place ..
but now i can tell,
that it might be the goodbye ..
i was down on my knees
pray to someone who create this universe
to give and show me ways
well .. i guess ..
this is it ..
i can see on that day
he act out
seemed not to care
seemed nothing happened
argued
fierce
madness
fear
all of them were mix together
that complete my night "wonderfully" ..
woke up in the morning
thought i was going to have a great day
and i was totally wrong
i had to accept reality
i had to face the truth
that not everything would go as i want to
that not everything would go smooth as i thought before
that i couldn't have everything in a time ..
i can't hardly believe
i felt the same feelings again
i can't hardly think
i was in the same position
and i can't believe
that i have to repeat the same story ..
last night i screamed to God
and asked a simple question,
" why did u take people that i love one by one? "
can anyone raise their hand up
and give me an answer ..?
here comes the start of the sleepless night
here comes the pain
here comes me wishing things had never changed
i can hear him says I love you like it was yesterday
and I can see it written on his face
that he had never felt this way ..
but why did things go like this ?
why does it have to go from good to gone?
It is unfair
and i dont feel fair for myself ..
Joanna -
fight for worth-living
life goes on as it never ends
they never say forever gaze,
if only beauty roads to an endless love
it's hard to see in a crimson love
so hard to breathe yet so hard to heal
so many words for the broken heart ..
it aint no time for excuses
there's a time that comes in a life
when it's real
want it all and the mind is right
it could come at any time
you will know nothing more
no more time to fight ..
but
everyone has their own excuses ..
it can be seen
that is clear enough to analyze
that is transparent to see
sometimes
one small word can tear a person's heart down
a life means nothing without a shield
it feels like both of hands tied behind back tightly ..
" lets see what will happen next "
is a sentence that give an uncertain answer
" let the time answer all the questions "
is a sentence that shows unpreparedness
many excuses to illustrates conditions
for unfathomable reason,
when a person feel enough for being in pain
a person will take a risk to give another chance
with a hope of happiness will come ..
mistakes that we can't undo
only feel guilty which results in regretfulness
a person that naive which totally misled
thinks that life will end in happy ending
like a fairy tale and never truly think it's realistic ..
some people fight for love
stick with it and goin nowhere ..
some people hide from love
hide from it and run away
pretend not to need it ..
a person never really thought about the future
till the life shown and found it's purpose
so very worth it ..
Joanna-
they never say forever gaze,
if only beauty roads to an endless love
it's hard to see in a crimson love
so hard to breathe yet so hard to heal
so many words for the broken heart ..
it aint no time for excuses
there's a time that comes in a life
when it's real
want it all and the mind is right
it could come at any time
you will know nothing more
no more time to fight ..
but
everyone has their own excuses ..
it can be seen
that is clear enough to analyze
that is transparent to see
sometimes
one small word can tear a person's heart down
a life means nothing without a shield
it feels like both of hands tied behind back tightly ..
" lets see what will happen next "
is a sentence that give an uncertain answer
" let the time answer all the questions "
is a sentence that shows unpreparedness
many excuses to illustrates conditions
for unfathomable reason,
when a person feel enough for being in pain
a person will take a risk to give another chance
with a hope of happiness will come ..
mistakes that we can't undo
only feel guilty which results in regretfulness
a person that naive which totally misled
thinks that life will end in happy ending
like a fairy tale and never truly think it's realistic ..
some people fight for love
stick with it and goin nowhere ..
some people hide from love
hide from it and run away
pretend not to need it ..
a person never really thought about the future
till the life shown and found it's purpose
so very worth it ..
Joanna-
The VERY BEST of mine
This is a note that im going to make for my beloved people because i miss them .. i love them ..
First of all .. i would like to say thank you for all these beloved men and women that have been the most important people in my life .. All of you make me feel that i deserve to be love .. :)
Those people are Desyani Rosadi a.k.a. Pao2 , Yolenta Winda Wijaya a.k.a. Yolen , Jeanette Jacobus a.k.a. Nanet , Fritz Jacob Halim a.k.a. Fritz , Erica Budi Putri a.k.a. Erica, Dendi and my other friends that i can't mention cos it was a lot of them ..
(*)DESYANI ROSADI a.k.a Pao2
Pao2 sayang .. gueh kangen sangat sama lo .. This girl is the most unique one .. :) She dresses like she has her own style and doesnt give a damn about people .. well, tho sometimes she does but as for you know, this girl is amazing .. I met this girl accidently .. She was my friend's ex which brought me to know her and she is the LEADER of FUNCTION auto-club especially for girls side .. :p At first, i didnt get really close to her maybe but as the time goes by, we've become a very close friends and i love her so much as i love my own sister .. I always depend on her in any situation .. Good and bad times, we've shared together .. and anyway babe, i miss ur RISOTTO :p .. when i get to jkt .. cook for me ya :D
Her advices are the most realistic one .. and she will never say anything nice just to make you feel better if u are in problems cos she wants to show you the reality not the drama of life ..
that is the part which i want to learn from her .. and her minds also .. so realistic ..
i miss you honey .. i really do .. when im back, we need to meet ASAP .. do things as we used to do :) love u!
(*) YOLENTA WINDA WIJAYA a.k.a. Yolen
si cumi satu ini juga salah satu org yang paling gw sayang dan ga akan pernah gw bkin dia sedih :) Yolen baby .. you are the one who really know me inside and outside .. you really understand who i am and what i am .. we've been together since we were in kindergarten .. what a long time ya babe .. actually i feel bad for this .. we used to spend our time every single day but now , we are in a different country with thousand miles between us .. you are my best best best girl i've ever had .. well sometimes we have fight .. but it wont last forever .. everyday i always miss u .. *is it like we are in some kind of relationship? haha *
whatever but that is true .. i do miss u like hell .. did you remember the time that we escaped from sch and ran away to Bandung ? haha .. it was so fun!!!! i would like to do it for one more time . but this time we have to go more than 24 hours!! :p
i miss you .. and anyway, thanks baby for giving me the present .. love it .. :)
hmm .. you know what , i really want to go back .. right now not later but i just cant ..
wait for me ya babe .. DECEMBER ..!! :( love ya!
(*) Jeanette Jacobus a.k.a Nanet
Naneeeetttt ..... the oldest friend of mine .. i consider you as my sister .. You are such a mature and wise person .. i want to learn everything about you net .. thanks for always stay by my side .. although , we are not that often in contacting each other, but i know, you always here for me .. whenever it is net .. Nanet, i miss u so muccchh ... go crazy with you .. meeting you .. hear u singing .. see your crazy laugh .. and i would like to do your crazy ideas .. haha .. love it net!!
and anyway net . about the book that u gave me .. i still dont know what to fill in bcos it contains a lot of words and i feel a bit confuse what to put .. :P
nanet .. i want to say sorry for not there with you when you were sick just bcos im here far far away from you .. and im glad that you are getting better now :) nanet .. wait for me yah on dec .. we have to hang out like we used to be .. miss u and love u sis!
(*) Fritz Jacob Halim a.k.a. Fritz
si babe satu ini ...... selalu membuat gw tertawa dan tertawa .. ahahaha ..
hmmm .. fritz, do u still remember how do we meet and get close each other? lol ..
as i remember , i knew you from JN at ex .. wasnt it ..? but that wasnt the part we've getting known each other .. aaahhh i remember .. at lil'bagdad with pao2! ahahaha .. remember ..??
awww.. miss that time fritz .. and then you came to my 17 birthday with dendi and pao2 ..
since then we've getting closer and closer .. hahahahaha .....
God ... i miss to spend times with you .. it is really fun to be with you .. haha .. you always make me laugh no matter what and your advices if i have problems , you act in realistic way .. hahaha .. same like pao2 ... thanks babe :)
and oh yaaaa .. i want to have a great party like we had between 31 Dec 2008 - 1 Jan 2009 .. it was new yearrrr!!ehehehe .. i was so fucked up and hang over .. -.-
i still remember , when u came up into pao2 room and i was lying there and i was so embarrassed because i was looked like shit cos of alcohol .. haha .. and you said, " aoran.. fritz nih .. hahahaha " and i just suddenly woke up and went down and you helped me to get down properly .. lol.. then until 6 AM in the morning , i was sleeping on your lap .. HAHAHAHAHAHA .. oh God fritzzzz .. missss youu damn muccchh!! wanna go back ....
friittzzz ........ wait for me!! december ..!! hahaha ..
still a long time to go aye? -.- and anyway .. goodluck for your exams later .. we have to support each other :) love and miss u!
(*) Dendi
dendddiii .... teman nya pao2 dan fritz juga .. hahahaha .. dunia emng sempit yah dend ..:p
dendi kenal pas di bday gw yah ? kaget itu pas ad dendi .. hehehe .. He is kind, nice and gentle man .. He always support me whenever i feel bad or when i feel like i wanna go home .. He always tell me to be patience .. thanks dennddut :)
I knew him from pao2 and then met him at lil bagdad with fritz and pao2 as well .. haha ..
i still remember the situation there :) i miss that ..
and dendi eats a lot ..!!! i meaaannn reallyyy a lottttt!! hahahaha ..
he likes to go to gym and swimming for making his body has a shape on it! haha ..
well hmm .. i can't wait to go back dend and spend times together with u and pao2 and fritz .. cant waiittt .. u have to be in jakarta on decemberrrr yahh dend :) miissss yaaa!
(*) Erica Budi Putri a.k.a Erica
Errriicaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa . . . . kalo soal nih ce .. bnyak deh yang gw omongin .. hauahua ..
dr hal tergila sampe ternajis!! hahahaha ...
kenal erica di sekolah yah .. and at that time we were enemiessss!! haha ...
brntem ga jelas gw yang kena tonjok.. -.- and the Danny was my ex and danny is also erica's best friend .. since then we are best friend until now :) what an accident ya ca .. hehe..
di sydney breng ini anak .. bergila2 ria.. oxygen laahh.. karaoke lahh .. dan hal2 gila yang lain nya .. ga enak gw sebutin disini .. ahuahauhauahua ..
babe .. lo lg di indo kan? cepetan dong balik .. LAMA ABIS DI JKT ..:(
kangeeennn abis sm lo babeeeee . . gimana kisah oxygen lo disana ? hahahahahaha ..
hmmm ... babe .. nnti dec pulang bareng yuuukk jgn di syd .. hahaha ..
erica is the same as me i think .. well not all of them for some certain extent, yea she does .. and we always share our problems and give advices .. and it is fun!! hahaha ..
well hmm .. nothing much to say .. come back soon my girl!! miss u!
(**) ALL OF MY BFF
For all of you, thank you for being my friends until now .. i cant imagine my life without friends.. I will never ever forget your kindness and craziness that we used to do together .. for my childhood friends , i miss all of you .. for AGATHANS FEVER DE FETTUCINI, i wish we can spend time one another one day like we used to be tho i know it is hard and it is not as easy as i think , but it will be great if we can have a meeting :) and for GBT CHURCH, i miss all of you guyzzz ... i want to do things like i used to do before ... wait for me guyz .. i'll be back .. and thank you for the support and prayers .. :)
I LOVE ALL OF YOU .. miss ya .....
Love,
Joanna
First of all .. i would like to say thank you for all these beloved men and women that have been the most important people in my life .. All of you make me feel that i deserve to be love .. :)
Those people are Desyani Rosadi a.k.a. Pao2 , Yolenta Winda Wijaya a.k.a. Yolen , Jeanette Jacobus a.k.a. Nanet , Fritz Jacob Halim a.k.a. Fritz , Erica Budi Putri a.k.a. Erica, Dendi and my other friends that i can't mention cos it was a lot of them ..
(*)DESYANI ROSADI a.k.a Pao2
Pao2 sayang .. gueh kangen sangat sama lo .. This girl is the most unique one .. :) She dresses like she has her own style and doesnt give a damn about people .. well, tho sometimes she does but as for you know, this girl is amazing .. I met this girl accidently .. She was my friend's ex which brought me to know her and she is the LEADER of FUNCTION auto-club especially for girls side .. :p At first, i didnt get really close to her maybe but as the time goes by, we've become a very close friends and i love her so much as i love my own sister .. I always depend on her in any situation .. Good and bad times, we've shared together .. and anyway babe, i miss ur RISOTTO :p .. when i get to jkt .. cook for me ya :D
Her advices are the most realistic one .. and she will never say anything nice just to make you feel better if u are in problems cos she wants to show you the reality not the drama of life ..
that is the part which i want to learn from her .. and her minds also .. so realistic ..
i miss you honey .. i really do .. when im back, we need to meet ASAP .. do things as we used to do :) love u!
(*) YOLENTA WINDA WIJAYA a.k.a. Yolen
si cumi satu ini juga salah satu org yang paling gw sayang dan ga akan pernah gw bkin dia sedih :) Yolen baby .. you are the one who really know me inside and outside .. you really understand who i am and what i am .. we've been together since we were in kindergarten .. what a long time ya babe .. actually i feel bad for this .. we used to spend our time every single day but now , we are in a different country with thousand miles between us .. you are my best best best girl i've ever had .. well sometimes we have fight .. but it wont last forever .. everyday i always miss u .. *is it like we are in some kind of relationship? haha *
whatever but that is true .. i do miss u like hell .. did you remember the time that we escaped from sch and ran away to Bandung ? haha .. it was so fun!!!! i would like to do it for one more time . but this time we have to go more than 24 hours!! :p
i miss you .. and anyway, thanks baby for giving me the present .. love it .. :)
hmm .. you know what , i really want to go back .. right now not later but i just cant ..
wait for me ya babe .. DECEMBER ..!! :( love ya!
(*) Jeanette Jacobus a.k.a Nanet
Naneeeetttt ..... the oldest friend of mine .. i consider you as my sister .. You are such a mature and wise person .. i want to learn everything about you net .. thanks for always stay by my side .. although , we are not that often in contacting each other, but i know, you always here for me .. whenever it is net .. Nanet, i miss u so muccchh ... go crazy with you .. meeting you .. hear u singing .. see your crazy laugh .. and i would like to do your crazy ideas .. haha .. love it net!!
and anyway net . about the book that u gave me .. i still dont know what to fill in bcos it contains a lot of words and i feel a bit confuse what to put .. :P
nanet .. i want to say sorry for not there with you when you were sick just bcos im here far far away from you .. and im glad that you are getting better now :) nanet .. wait for me yah on dec .. we have to hang out like we used to be .. miss u and love u sis!
(*) Fritz Jacob Halim a.k.a. Fritz
si babe satu ini ...... selalu membuat gw tertawa dan tertawa .. ahahaha ..
hmmm .. fritz, do u still remember how do we meet and get close each other? lol ..
as i remember , i knew you from JN at ex .. wasnt it ..? but that wasnt the part we've getting known each other .. aaahhh i remember .. at lil'bagdad with pao2! ahahaha .. remember ..??
awww.. miss that time fritz .. and then you came to my 17 birthday with dendi and pao2 ..
since then we've getting closer and closer .. hahahahaha .....
God ... i miss to spend times with you .. it is really fun to be with you .. haha .. you always make me laugh no matter what and your advices if i have problems , you act in realistic way .. hahaha .. same like pao2 ... thanks babe :)
and oh yaaaa .. i want to have a great party like we had between 31 Dec 2008 - 1 Jan 2009 .. it was new yearrrr!!ehehehe .. i was so fucked up and hang over .. -.-
i still remember , when u came up into pao2 room and i was lying there and i was so embarrassed because i was looked like shit cos of alcohol .. haha .. and you said, " aoran.. fritz nih .. hahahaha " and i just suddenly woke up and went down and you helped me to get down properly .. lol.. then until 6 AM in the morning , i was sleeping on your lap .. HAHAHAHAHAHA .. oh God fritzzzz .. missss youu damn muccchh!! wanna go back ....
friittzzz ........ wait for me!! december ..!! hahaha ..
still a long time to go aye? -.- and anyway .. goodluck for your exams later .. we have to support each other :) love and miss u!
(*) Dendi
dendddiii .... teman nya pao2 dan fritz juga .. hahahaha .. dunia emng sempit yah dend ..:p
dendi kenal pas di bday gw yah ? kaget itu pas ad dendi .. hehehe .. He is kind, nice and gentle man .. He always support me whenever i feel bad or when i feel like i wanna go home .. He always tell me to be patience .. thanks dennddut :)
I knew him from pao2 and then met him at lil bagdad with fritz and pao2 as well .. haha ..
i still remember the situation there :) i miss that ..
and dendi eats a lot ..!!! i meaaannn reallyyy a lottttt!! hahahaha ..
he likes to go to gym and swimming for making his body has a shape on it! haha ..
well hmm .. i can't wait to go back dend and spend times together with u and pao2 and fritz .. cant waiittt .. u have to be in jakarta on decemberrrr yahh dend :) miissss yaaa!
(*) Erica Budi Putri a.k.a Erica
Errriicaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa . . . . kalo soal nih ce .. bnyak deh yang gw omongin .. hauahua ..
dr hal tergila sampe ternajis!! hahahaha ...
kenal erica di sekolah yah .. and at that time we were enemiessss!! haha ...
brntem ga jelas gw yang kena tonjok.. -.- and the Danny was my ex and danny is also erica's best friend .. since then we are best friend until now :) what an accident ya ca .. hehe..
di sydney breng ini anak .. bergila2 ria.. oxygen laahh.. karaoke lahh .. dan hal2 gila yang lain nya .. ga enak gw sebutin disini .. ahuahauhauahua ..
babe .. lo lg di indo kan? cepetan dong balik .. LAMA ABIS DI JKT ..:(
kangeeennn abis sm lo babeeeee . . gimana kisah oxygen lo disana ? hahahahahaha ..
hmmm ... babe .. nnti dec pulang bareng yuuukk jgn di syd .. hahaha ..
erica is the same as me i think .. well not all of them for some certain extent, yea she does .. and we always share our problems and give advices .. and it is fun!! hahaha ..
well hmm .. nothing much to say .. come back soon my girl!! miss u!
(**) ALL OF MY BFF
For all of you, thank you for being my friends until now .. i cant imagine my life without friends.. I will never ever forget your kindness and craziness that we used to do together .. for my childhood friends , i miss all of you .. for AGATHANS FEVER DE FETTUCINI, i wish we can spend time one another one day like we used to be tho i know it is hard and it is not as easy as i think , but it will be great if we can have a meeting :) and for GBT CHURCH, i miss all of you guyzzz ... i want to do things like i used to do before ... wait for me guyz .. i'll be back .. and thank you for the support and prayers .. :)
I LOVE ALL OF YOU .. miss ya .....
Love,
Joanna
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