Sunday, May 10, 2009
the 13th
in this sunday evening im all alone i have 3 days to go for the 13th.. i used to be around friends i used to go out every weekend but now, since i came here everything has changed .. i never thought i could be in this way a way that i turn to be alone sounds weird but that's the reality since then, i go to past moments go backwards remember the last 13th that day is the best day ever for me luxurious marvelous party happiness laughter i had it all for my last 13th i had people whom i wanted to be there i felt like i was the princess of that day all the things that i never expected i owned it .. but now maybe this 13th will be the worst day for me its not because i dont have any luxurious stuffs is not because i dont own any marvelous party but because, i dont have my precious mom and dad i dont have the most important people around me i will not be able to see them for this 13th i feel so sad i feel alone im not used to it .. while someone told me that i will get use to it well maybe thats true .. somehow, if i had one wish for right now i wished to see and meet them in an hour is it possible? well i dont think so all i can do now is, see those pictures hangin on the wall revising all the memories put myself in those times maybe it will make me better just for a bit its okay .. Joanna
Saturday, May 9, 2009
life defines as ...
i'm so bored so just do this poem ..
life is about trusting your feelings
life is about taking chances and losing
life is about finding happiness
appreciating the memories
learning from the past
and realizing people change ..
you will be surprised to know
how far you can go from the point
where you thought it was the end ..
life's a dance you learn as you go
sometimes you lead but sometimes you follow
never waste a minute of your precious life
by squandering it thinking about people you don't like
life is full of beauty
notice it
live your life to the fullest potential
and fight for your dreams
you can close your eyes
to things you don't want to see
but you can't close your heart
to the things you don't want to feel
sometimes what you want
isn't always what you get
but in the end
what you get is so much better than what you wanted ..
life is not measured by the number of breaths we take
but by the moments that take our breath away
memory is a way of holding on to the things you love
the things you are
the things you never want to lose
life is filled with happiness and sadness
tears, smiles, laughter and other emotions
but when life gets you down
just be strong about it and keep your head up high
and have faith in all things in life ..
the doors we open and close each
it decides the life we live
experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes
cos in life,
you are given a test that teaches you a lesson ..
choices that deal with life are like alcohol
when you are under the influence of it
you tend to do things that you regret later on
the remarkable thing is
we have a choice everyday
regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day
we cannot change our past...
we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way
We cannot change the inevitable
the only thing we can do is
play on the one string we have
and that is our attitude ..
our attitude towards life
determines life's attitude towards us
what's meant to be will always find a way.
last but not least,
only a life lived for others is a life worth while ..
8 may 2009
Joanna -
life is about trusting your feelings
life is about taking chances and losing
life is about finding happiness
appreciating the memories
learning from the past
and realizing people change ..
you will be surprised to know
how far you can go from the point
where you thought it was the end ..
life's a dance you learn as you go
sometimes you lead but sometimes you follow
never waste a minute of your precious life
by squandering it thinking about people you don't like
life is full of beauty
notice it
live your life to the fullest potential
and fight for your dreams
you can close your eyes
to things you don't want to see
but you can't close your heart
to the things you don't want to feel
sometimes what you want
isn't always what you get
but in the end
what you get is so much better than what you wanted ..
life is not measured by the number of breaths we take
but by the moments that take our breath away
memory is a way of holding on to the things you love
the things you are
the things you never want to lose
life is filled with happiness and sadness
tears, smiles, laughter and other emotions
but when life gets you down
just be strong about it and keep your head up high
and have faith in all things in life ..
the doors we open and close each
it decides the life we live
experience is the name everyone gives to their mistakes
cos in life,
you are given a test that teaches you a lesson ..
choices that deal with life are like alcohol
when you are under the influence of it
you tend to do things that you regret later on
the remarkable thing is
we have a choice everyday
regarding the attitude we will embrace for that day
we cannot change our past...
we cannot change the fact that people will act in a certain way
We cannot change the inevitable
the only thing we can do is
play on the one string we have
and that is our attitude ..
our attitude towards life
determines life's attitude towards us
what's meant to be will always find a way.
last but not least,
only a life lived for others is a life worth while ..
8 may 2009
Joanna -
8 may 2009
Friday - 8 May 2oo9
11:43 PM started to make this ..
late at night
got nothing to do
staring at this boring screen
all i see are only facebook and msn
was thinking of something
but i couldn't think clearly
tried to remember past times
but i was too tired to do that
i wanted to laugh
but i got nothing's funny
just now i did laugh
thanks to my babe ..
a bit hungry so i ate crackers
went outside balcony
stared at the sky
it was so clear and i saw one star
and it was shining so brightly
then i made a wish upon it
again i sat down infront of mac
got call from my mother
talked about their plan to sydney
splendid idea!
felt happy but then sad again
cos i feel like shit in my own room
nothing to do
how i wished i could go and see my family for an hour
and then back my ass off in sydney
but it was only a dream ..
so whatever ..
i was trying to go to bed
lying down a bit
but then it didnt work ..
as usual
i called my best friend
and unfortunately
she was sleeping
damn ..
now im stuck
i need idea for this second
however,
im sleepy but i couldnt sleep
can somebody explain to me why?
Finished time : 11:51 PM - 8 May 2oo9
Joanna
11:43 PM started to make this ..
late at night
got nothing to do
staring at this boring screen
all i see are only facebook and msn
was thinking of something
but i couldn't think clearly
tried to remember past times
but i was too tired to do that
i wanted to laugh
but i got nothing's funny
just now i did laugh
thanks to my babe ..
a bit hungry so i ate crackers
went outside balcony
stared at the sky
it was so clear and i saw one star
and it was shining so brightly
then i made a wish upon it
again i sat down infront of mac
got call from my mother
talked about their plan to sydney
splendid idea!
felt happy but then sad again
cos i feel like shit in my own room
nothing to do
how i wished i could go and see my family for an hour
and then back my ass off in sydney
but it was only a dream ..
so whatever ..
i was trying to go to bed
lying down a bit
but then it didnt work ..
as usual
i called my best friend
and unfortunately
she was sleeping
damn ..
now im stuck
i need idea for this second
however,
im sleepy but i couldnt sleep
can somebody explain to me why?
Finished time : 11:51 PM - 8 May 2oo9
Joanna
mom dad i miss u guys
friday night ,
i packed all my stuffs for my day to sydney ..
i prayed for the next day for not regret it ..
saturday morning,
i met my best friends at airport
that was the last time i saw them
i felt in despair
but i couldn't and i didn't know why ..
saturday night,
i reached sydney
just with my beloved parents
i slept for the whole night
and i woke up
found out myself that i wasn't at my home
for saturday afternoon and evening,
i bought a lot of things
i went for places with my mom and dad
i ate a lot of food that were my favorite
thanks for my mom and dad ..
sunday morning,
i talked about many things with my dad
we're talking about how i was gonna survive
we're talking about how to manage myself here
sunday night,
again my mom repeated the same thing as my dad
for monday and tuesday,
all of us were having fun
but on monday afternoon,
i had a quarrel with my mother
i was too egoist at that time
i'm sorry mother ..
i didn't mean it ..
on tuesday night,
my mom and me were talking together
we talked a lot
she said she was goin to miss me a lot
she said she wasn't used to get far away from me
she said that i was mean a lot for her
she said i was her treasure
i feel bad ..
on wednesday morning,
they packed all their things
i just could stand there
and saw them packing
i cried secretly
tuesday afternoon,
my dad hugged me tightly
even my mom more ..
they said to take a good care of myself here
they said i had to be good here without them
they said they trusted me for being here
i just can say , " ok mom .. ok dad .. i will "
i didnt want to show them that i was so in despair
i cried secretly for twice ..
wednesday night,
i cried so badly
i called my mom
i told her that i missed her a lot
she told me so
but she said i would be okay
she said i would be a great girl here
she said i would learn something precious here
i replied i couldn't stay far away from you mom..
we cried a lot that day
mom .. dad ..
i just wanna say that i miss both of you a lot ..
i really do ..
i remembered my 17 party birthday ..
it was so marvelous ..
thanks to my dad ..
daddy,
you earned a billion dollar for me ..
thank you for that ..
i love you dad ..
without you ..
i couldn't be me right now ..
mom ,
you took care of me for more than 17 years ..
i want to say that im so thankful for that
you taught me a lot ..
though sometimes we had fight
just because of a small problem
mom.. i do miss u ..
i feel like i want to hug you now
feel your love right now
i want you to talk to me right now
i want you to hug me mom and cuddle me up ..
mom,
when i was sick for last week,
how i wished you were here at that time
i used to remember when i was not okay,
you were so worried to me ,
you took me to a doctor straightly ..
and when i was had my 17 birthday,
you gave me a surprise that i never ever forget it ..
you know i love you mom dad ..
mom .. dad ..
for becoming your daughter is the greatest pleasure for me ..
mom .. dad ..
i will soon have my birthday ,
for this time,
i couldn't have both of your presence here ..
come soon mom dad ..
i'll be waiting ..
i miss both you ..
i really do ..
6 may 2009
Joanna ...
i packed all my stuffs for my day to sydney ..
i prayed for the next day for not regret it ..
saturday morning,
i met my best friends at airport
that was the last time i saw them
i felt in despair
but i couldn't and i didn't know why ..
saturday night,
i reached sydney
just with my beloved parents
i slept for the whole night
and i woke up
found out myself that i wasn't at my home
for saturday afternoon and evening,
i bought a lot of things
i went for places with my mom and dad
i ate a lot of food that were my favorite
thanks for my mom and dad ..
sunday morning,
i talked about many things with my dad
we're talking about how i was gonna survive
we're talking about how to manage myself here
sunday night,
again my mom repeated the same thing as my dad
for monday and tuesday,
all of us were having fun
but on monday afternoon,
i had a quarrel with my mother
i was too egoist at that time
i'm sorry mother ..
i didn't mean it ..
on tuesday night,
my mom and me were talking together
we talked a lot
she said she was goin to miss me a lot
she said she wasn't used to get far away from me
she said that i was mean a lot for her
she said i was her treasure
i feel bad ..
on wednesday morning,
they packed all their things
i just could stand there
and saw them packing
i cried secretly
tuesday afternoon,
my dad hugged me tightly
even my mom more ..
they said to take a good care of myself here
they said i had to be good here without them
they said they trusted me for being here
i just can say , " ok mom .. ok dad .. i will "
i didnt want to show them that i was so in despair
i cried secretly for twice ..
wednesday night,
i cried so badly
i called my mom
i told her that i missed her a lot
she told me so
but she said i would be okay
she said i would be a great girl here
she said i would learn something precious here
i replied i couldn't stay far away from you mom..
we cried a lot that day
mom .. dad ..
i just wanna say that i miss both of you a lot ..
i really do ..
i remembered my 17 party birthday ..
it was so marvelous ..
thanks to my dad ..
daddy,
you earned a billion dollar for me ..
thank you for that ..
i love you dad ..
without you ..
i couldn't be me right now ..
mom ,
you took care of me for more than 17 years ..
i want to say that im so thankful for that
you taught me a lot ..
though sometimes we had fight
just because of a small problem
mom.. i do miss u ..
i feel like i want to hug you now
feel your love right now
i want you to talk to me right now
i want you to hug me mom and cuddle me up ..
mom,
when i was sick for last week,
how i wished you were here at that time
i used to remember when i was not okay,
you were so worried to me ,
you took me to a doctor straightly ..
and when i was had my 17 birthday,
you gave me a surprise that i never ever forget it ..
you know i love you mom dad ..
mom .. dad ..
for becoming your daughter is the greatest pleasure for me ..
mom .. dad ..
i will soon have my birthday ,
for this time,
i couldn't have both of your presence here ..
come soon mom dad ..
i'll be waiting ..
i miss both you ..
i really do ..
6 may 2009
Joanna ...
life is harsh
in the middle of the silence
when i woke up
i sat down and thinking
i was trying to flash back to those past moments
i was trying to remember what had happened that times
and suddenly i had a big smile in my face
i couldn't imagine
how harsh life is
i couldn't think clearly
that there are ups and downs in life
and i was just realized it
sometimes,
when happiness comes to our life
we act too much
we do a lot of things that actually aren't necessary
our mind is over-thinking
but when sadness and disappointment presence
we are moron
we sit down .. thinking too much
therefore,
we do nothing to make our life better
tears that had fallen from our eyes
it helped to make us calm but not for solving the matters
in relationship
we break up
we make up
love comes
love goes
we are crawling
we are standing
we cry
we smile
we feel joy
we feel disappointment
we do sins
we pray
we make mistakes
we do apologize
there is still a lot of ups and downs in this life
for those who feel downs right now,
don't feel like you've hit your lowest low
but cheer up
see your future time with full of hope
treat your future time with happiness
believe it or not,
when you trust of what will happen next,
it happens ..
depends on us whether we want to make it come true or not ..
while for those who feel ups in life this time,
be grateful
be thankful
it aint easy to get happiness in life
everything has its own price to pay
everything has its method to sacrifice to own a happiness ..
From the ups and downs in life,
you will learn something precious
something you never expected before
from that moment,
you will realize how precious life is
and you will become more mature and wise ...
Joanna
when i woke up
i sat down and thinking
i was trying to flash back to those past moments
i was trying to remember what had happened that times
and suddenly i had a big smile in my face
i couldn't imagine
how harsh life is
i couldn't think clearly
that there are ups and downs in life
and i was just realized it
sometimes,
when happiness comes to our life
we act too much
we do a lot of things that actually aren't necessary
our mind is over-thinking
but when sadness and disappointment presence
we are moron
we sit down .. thinking too much
therefore,
we do nothing to make our life better
tears that had fallen from our eyes
it helped to make us calm but not for solving the matters
in relationship
we break up
we make up
love comes
love goes
we are crawling
we are standing
we cry
we smile
we feel joy
we feel disappointment
we do sins
we pray
we make mistakes
we do apologize
there is still a lot of ups and downs in this life
for those who feel downs right now,
don't feel like you've hit your lowest low
but cheer up
see your future time with full of hope
treat your future time with happiness
believe it or not,
when you trust of what will happen next,
it happens ..
depends on us whether we want to make it come true or not ..
while for those who feel ups in life this time,
be grateful
be thankful
it aint easy to get happiness in life
everything has its own price to pay
everything has its method to sacrifice to own a happiness ..
From the ups and downs in life,
you will learn something precious
something you never expected before
from that moment,
you will realize how precious life is
and you will become more mature and wise ...
8 may 2009
Joanna
i miss 2 eves
this note is made for my girl and my woman ..
and they are yolenta winda and jeannete jacobus ..
here i go ..
as i started my life
no making amends
i do struggle a lot in my life
though some people consider those times
as not a struggle moment ..
but no matter what,
in my point of view,
i do feel it even in friendships, loves and family matters..
days by days
i passed it
there are sad and good times
cos without sad and disappointment
i will not be able to learn about life
and obviously
without sadness there will be no happiness ..
in those sad times,
how i wished i didn't wanted to be alone
and it happened ..
i have 2 eves in my life
and i thanked God for their presence
they are yolenta and nanet ..
They always help me no matter what
when i was still in jakarta
and even when i'm in sydney ..
they always here for me
when im down and trouble
and i really need a hand that reach out for me
they appeared and brighten up my day for once again ..
i just take my mobile and call them
and in that right time,
they are there for me ..
how lucky i am for having such best friends like them ..
they taught me a lot of things
they taught me how to love myself more ..
they taught me to be a forgiving person
they taught me reasons to live
they taught me to be thankful to God
there is a lot of more things that they had taught me
that i couldn't mention it ..
Now ..
i will soon have my birthday ..
this will be the first time i don't have their presence
this will be the first time i don't have my special friends
will it be a boring birthday ..?
i don't feel so special for this time ..
i feel bad ..
but one of them told me that i was special ..
God..
i pray ..
please take care of them wherever they are
please give them your bless for whatever they are
please keep them to be healthy and wealthy
please bless them of anything they do in life
make each them that they decide to be in a success way
and in the right path ..
last not least,
i want to say thank you to you God
for giving me 2 eves in my life ..
without them ..
i mean nothing ...
P.S. aku kangen yolen and nanet .. Nanet .. yoleeenn ... i really feel bad for this .. i miss u guys :(
5 may 2009
Joanna-
and they are yolenta winda and jeannete jacobus ..
here i go ..
as i started my life
no making amends
i do struggle a lot in my life
though some people consider those times
as not a struggle moment ..
but no matter what,
in my point of view,
i do feel it even in friendships, loves and family matters..
days by days
i passed it
there are sad and good times
cos without sad and disappointment
i will not be able to learn about life
and obviously
without sadness there will be no happiness ..
in those sad times,
how i wished i didn't wanted to be alone
and it happened ..
i have 2 eves in my life
and i thanked God for their presence
they are yolenta and nanet ..
They always help me no matter what
when i was still in jakarta
and even when i'm in sydney ..
they always here for me
when im down and trouble
and i really need a hand that reach out for me
they appeared and brighten up my day for once again ..
i just take my mobile and call them
and in that right time,
they are there for me ..
how lucky i am for having such best friends like them ..
they taught me a lot of things
they taught me how to love myself more ..
they taught me to be a forgiving person
they taught me reasons to live
they taught me to be thankful to God
there is a lot of more things that they had taught me
that i couldn't mention it ..
Now ..
i will soon have my birthday ..
this will be the first time i don't have their presence
this will be the first time i don't have my special friends
will it be a boring birthday ..?
i don't feel so special for this time ..
i feel bad ..
but one of them told me that i was special ..
God..
i pray ..
please take care of them wherever they are
please give them your bless for whatever they are
please keep them to be healthy and wealthy
please bless them of anything they do in life
make each them that they decide to be in a success way
and in the right path ..
last not least,
i want to say thank you to you God
for giving me 2 eves in my life ..
without them ..
i mean nothing ...
P.S. aku kangen yolen and nanet .. Nanet .. yoleeenn ... i really feel bad for this .. i miss u guys :(
5 may 2009
Joanna-
utter loneliness
mourning inside of an evening
in utter loneliness
just 7 more days
and i would be 18
but im asking,
can someone put me back to when i was 17
starting to remember
when life was pure delight
o mayber take me to when i was 1
when i had my first big birthday party
it's not that i will have one more year to own
that really hurts me ..
but its that there's no one by my side
to hold my head up high
and it is my family ..
in sitting alone
and i think to myself
can i just close my eyes and open it and there they are..?
there's no one to talk to
i sit in despair
waiting for someone to bring me to them
when i was a kid i never had to worry about anything
just a few scratches here or there
but now there's scars of my heart
those of which i cannot heal
to many times have i breathed without a reason
to many times have i judged life
for i couldn't handle it
although i had it before,
i dont want to have it now ..
i ought to change to be someone better ..
i believe i will get use to it ..
i aint gonna be break down just because of this ..
P.S. i miss my best friends in jkt and my family for sure .. this is my first time that im goin to celebrate it without them .. miss all of u ..
in utter loneliness
just 7 more days
and i would be 18
but im asking,
can someone put me back to when i was 17
starting to remember
when life was pure delight
o mayber take me to when i was 1
when i had my first big birthday party
it's not that i will have one more year to own
that really hurts me ..
but its that there's no one by my side
to hold my head up high
and it is my family ..
in sitting alone
and i think to myself
can i just close my eyes and open it and there they are..?
there's no one to talk to
i sit in despair
waiting for someone to bring me to them
when i was a kid i never had to worry about anything
just a few scratches here or there
but now there's scars of my heart
those of which i cannot heal
to many times have i breathed without a reason
to many times have i judged life
for i couldn't handle it
although i had it before,
i dont want to have it now ..
i ought to change to be someone better ..
i believe i will get use to it ..
i aint gonna be break down just because of this ..
P.S. i miss my best friends in jkt and my family for sure .. this is my first time that im goin to celebrate it without them .. miss all of u ..
4 may 2009
Joanna-
Joanna-
be grateful of what you have
Universe is the most amazing creation of God
He had created the world nicely
i was born to this planet on 13 may 1991
from the eve's womb
with red cheeks and 2 dimples
i cried for the sign that i was ready to begin the harsh life
time had passed by
from a year until this second
just few days to go
then i will turn to be 18 years old
i aint a girl not yet a woman
in between those years
problems are increasing
tears are falling
smiles are rising
and so for disappointment
when i was a little girl
i didnt know anything about life
all i knew were candies and soft toys
all i did were crying and yelling
without a reason,
i shouted at all people that i wanted this
then i had to have it in that mean time!
how selfish and how inappropriate
but it was me before
as the time goes by
i learn to be something more than me
i am desire to have a meaningful life
not just for luxurious
not just for fame
life is more than that
there is still a lot of thing that i still dont know
a lot of things about life that still hidden
no matter what i'll find it out one day
when time is right , it will reveal ..
now in this minute,
im sitting down
thinking and typing this note
if those days before appear in my mind
i have to be thankful for this life
sometimes i feel not enough of my own life
always feel i need more than this
since i realized and i saw
there is still more people out there
who suffer for pain and illness
i should be grateful for mine
when life says, " enough is enough "
means it is enough ..
He had created the world nicely
i was born to this planet on 13 may 1991
from the eve's womb
with red cheeks and 2 dimples
i cried for the sign that i was ready to begin the harsh life
time had passed by
from a year until this second
just few days to go
then i will turn to be 18 years old
i aint a girl not yet a woman
in between those years
problems are increasing
tears are falling
smiles are rising
and so for disappointment
when i was a little girl
i didnt know anything about life
all i knew were candies and soft toys
all i did were crying and yelling
without a reason,
i shouted at all people that i wanted this
then i had to have it in that mean time!
how selfish and how inappropriate
but it was me before
as the time goes by
i learn to be something more than me
i am desire to have a meaningful life
not just for luxurious
not just for fame
life is more than that
there is still a lot of thing that i still dont know
a lot of things about life that still hidden
no matter what i'll find it out one day
when time is right , it will reveal ..
now in this minute,
im sitting down
thinking and typing this note
if those days before appear in my mind
i have to be thankful for this life
sometimes i feel not enough of my own life
always feel i need more than this
since i realized and i saw
there is still more people out there
who suffer for pain and illness
i should be grateful for mine
when life says, " enough is enough "
means it is enough ..
3 may 2009
Joanna-
Joanna-
worth-while living
trust and not to trust
let it be and not to let it be
i might think of other things
i might say that it's better not to trust anyone
i might talk shit
i might pretend to be someone else
but will it work in that way?
life's too complicated
life's a drama
and that is the way it is ..
maybe i should let the life decides
what to do and what to choose
but maybe not ..
talking about life right now with my girl
how shit it is
how fuck it is
somehow life's great instead of shits
thinking about all the pain we've been through
just because of love?
a big no for that ..
life is not only about love matters
there's still a lot of things out there
that i haven't treasure of ..
even though once in a time,
i lay back and it's all been done before
and i could let it be then i will see it ..
everything matters or at least that is
what they all tell me and
they try making it okay for me
but they can’t I’m done trying
hatred is a drug to my personality
it becomes impossible to think of anything else
but the object of i hatred
wish to God that i was invisible
whole new waves of emotions does that bring
confusion and longing and slight desperation
but being invisible's a complicated thing..
a lifetime's memories glinting in shadows
feelings that were too sacred to be revealed
when in doubt, I run
im wearing a mask
constantly bashing me
i can't deal with excuses
i run, but i go nowhere
sometimes I think I'd be
more comfortable in a hearse
my eyes stare into oblivion
It means I'm just not there
no explanation
they're thought I cannot share..
for the rest of of my life i put in a shape
life is keep on moving
and it doesnt slow down
i wonder now,
how my life got turned around
i felt like i was a prisoner before
i don't know what to do anymore
i don't want to keep living this kind of life
im trying to survive in this harsh life
past decisions are forever to last
its time for me to figure it out
how i feel
how i want my life to be
how i live this drama
i have to determine what's fake and what's real
can't keep running from the problems
ought to grow up instead of run away
face the life with my head up high
as hard as it is, i will always try
the twist and test have put me to the test
although much needed, i have no time to relax
i've to hold back and not to cry
it's finally time to quit living a lie
and make this life more worth-while for living ..
inspired by : me and my best friend's life
Joanna-
let it be and not to let it be
i might think of other things
i might say that it's better not to trust anyone
i might talk shit
i might pretend to be someone else
but will it work in that way?
life's too complicated
life's a drama
and that is the way it is ..
maybe i should let the life decides
what to do and what to choose
but maybe not ..
talking about life right now with my girl
how shit it is
how fuck it is
somehow life's great instead of shits
thinking about all the pain we've been through
just because of love?
a big no for that ..
life is not only about love matters
there's still a lot of things out there
that i haven't treasure of ..
even though once in a time,
i lay back and it's all been done before
and i could let it be then i will see it ..
everything matters or at least that is
what they all tell me and
they try making it okay for me
but they can’t I’m done trying
hatred is a drug to my personality
it becomes impossible to think of anything else
but the object of i hatred
wish to God that i was invisible
whole new waves of emotions does that bring
confusion and longing and slight desperation
but being invisible's a complicated thing..
a lifetime's memories glinting in shadows
feelings that were too sacred to be revealed
when in doubt, I run
im wearing a mask
constantly bashing me
i can't deal with excuses
i run, but i go nowhere
sometimes I think I'd be
more comfortable in a hearse
my eyes stare into oblivion
It means I'm just not there
no explanation
they're thought I cannot share..
for the rest of of my life i put in a shape
life is keep on moving
and it doesnt slow down
i wonder now,
how my life got turned around
i felt like i was a prisoner before
i don't know what to do anymore
i don't want to keep living this kind of life
im trying to survive in this harsh life
past decisions are forever to last
its time for me to figure it out
how i feel
how i want my life to be
how i live this drama
i have to determine what's fake and what's real
can't keep running from the problems
ought to grow up instead of run away
face the life with my head up high
as hard as it is, i will always try
the twist and test have put me to the test
although much needed, i have no time to relax
i've to hold back and not to cry
it's finally time to quit living a lie
and make this life more worth-while for living ..
inspired by : me and my best friend's life
3 may 2009
Joanna-
a lesson to be learned
life is ever changing
one second my life is playing out
exactly as i had dreamed
in one single instant everything changes
my entire world comes crashing down
my hopes, my dreams, and my future
it has suddenly been stolen from me
nothing left to show except pain and tears
reality has hit my life
my life that I once knew is over,
now I must stand on my own two feet
take one deep breath and say,
"life is so precious so cherish each moment .. "
live every single day as if it were my last
remember the laughs
remember the talks
remember the smiles
these memories will see me through the toughest times
there's something that i regret
some words I wish had gone unsaid
i wish I could do all all over again
and every tear that had to fall from my eyes
i'm thankful for every break in my heart
there's mistakes that I have made
some chances I just threw away
there's also ways that i never should have taken
the past cant be rewritten ..
therefore ..
i've learned that nobody is ever invincible to life
nothing happens to intentionally hurt you
everything throughout life has a purpose
life makes you stronger
life makes you smarter than before
hold and cherish what you still have close to your heart
you never know when life might happen again ..
one second my life is playing out
exactly as i had dreamed
in one single instant everything changes
my entire world comes crashing down
my hopes, my dreams, and my future
it has suddenly been stolen from me
nothing left to show except pain and tears
reality has hit my life
my life that I once knew is over,
now I must stand on my own two feet
take one deep breath and say,
"life is so precious so cherish each moment .. "
live every single day as if it were my last
remember the laughs
remember the talks
remember the smiles
these memories will see me through the toughest times
there's something that i regret
some words I wish had gone unsaid
i wish I could do all all over again
and every tear that had to fall from my eyes
i'm thankful for every break in my heart
there's mistakes that I have made
some chances I just threw away
there's also ways that i never should have taken
the past cant be rewritten ..
therefore ..
i've learned that nobody is ever invincible to life
nothing happens to intentionally hurt you
everything throughout life has a purpose
life makes you stronger
life makes you smarter than before
hold and cherish what you still have close to your heart
you never know when life might happen again ..
1 may 2009
Joanna -
Joanna -
oh God
as life goes on
and as the time goes by
there's always ups and downs in those times
sometimes i feel i've hit my lowest low
and that mean time,
i feel like im so useless
i feel like my life is so pointless
somehow,
there's also a time where i feel i have done my best
and that mean time,
i feel like im so powerful
i feel like my life has a bright future
no matter what ..
there's always ups and downs in life
while now,
im so confuse with i am now
things come and go
love went away but now is comin back
emotion ..
is that the reason why?
a lot of ways that he used to get my attention
i tried to pretend that i was alright
oh God
what should i do now?
all those sleepless nights
i've been thinking for this ..
God,
if he is meant for me,
just show me that way ..
but if he is not ..
make him stay away from me ..
that's all i can ask to you Father ..
and as the time goes by
there's always ups and downs in those times
sometimes i feel i've hit my lowest low
and that mean time,
i feel like im so useless
i feel like my life is so pointless
somehow,
there's also a time where i feel i have done my best
and that mean time,
i feel like im so powerful
i feel like my life has a bright future
no matter what ..
there's always ups and downs in life
while now,
im so confuse with i am now
things come and go
love went away but now is comin back
emotion ..
is that the reason why?
a lot of ways that he used to get my attention
i tried to pretend that i was alright
oh God
what should i do now?
all those sleepless nights
i've been thinking for this ..
God,
if he is meant for me,
just show me that way ..
but if he is not ..
make him stay away from me ..
that's all i can ask to you Father ..
29 april 2009
Joanna
my day
last night,
in a very silent night
i sat down and i was thinking about me
how lucky i am now
that i can still stand up for myself
if i think what happened before
if i remind what previous moments i had
i considered myself as a jackass
problems result in sadness
sadness causes pain
and i aint go back to that stage of life again
just because of love?
a big NO and thank you..
i woke up this morning,
tried to open my eyes
and i felt so sleepy
but whatever..
my new monday morning has begun
walking down the street
with all i am
stood up and my head up
with the most prestigious way,
i said to myself that i'm precious!
a bit arrogant maybe
but i should have to
cos i have to build the awareness of myself
anything that had happened in my few past months
i should say that i'm lucky and i'm doin good now
cos no matter what,
my life will be a wonderful life
if i do know how to manage and face this up
and thanks to all of my best friends
that they had done so many things to me
and now,
look at me ..
i'm okay and i'm happy
for not carrying that burdens anymore .. :)
Joanna
in a very silent night
i sat down and i was thinking about me
how lucky i am now
that i can still stand up for myself
if i think what happened before
if i remind what previous moments i had
i considered myself as a jackass
problems result in sadness
sadness causes pain
and i aint go back to that stage of life again
just because of love?
a big NO and thank you..
i woke up this morning,
tried to open my eyes
and i felt so sleepy
but whatever..
my new monday morning has begun
walking down the street
with all i am
stood up and my head up
with the most prestigious way,
i said to myself that i'm precious!
a bit arrogant maybe
but i should have to
cos i have to build the awareness of myself
anything that had happened in my few past months
i should say that i'm lucky and i'm doin good now
cos no matter what,
my life will be a wonderful life
if i do know how to manage and face this up
and thanks to all of my best friends
that they had done so many things to me
and now,
look at me ..
i'm okay and i'm happy
for not carrying that burdens anymore .. :)
27 april 2009
Joanna
For all of my best girls ever
i have 5 best girls in my life and im sure they are my very best of mine ..
they are nanet , erica , laras, yolen and pao2 .. :)
first , for my dear nanet ..
nanet .. you are my lovable sister ..
well .. i know her through my ex .. and thanks God, He brought nanet into my life ...
she has a very important role in all of my days or maybe in my life ..
she is like my sister of my own .. and she also my very best of mine .. :)
from the first time we met , i already knew that she was a very nice and gentle person and i didnt mistaken that :)
even though i didnt know her for a long time .. at least more than a year .. in those times, she had given me a lot of things .. not physical things but love and care to me ...
she treats me like her sister .. i feel very comfortable of this .. * thanks net *
and she always helps me through all the problems that i used to have .. she gave me a lot of suggestions and advices .. and all of her words are true ..
net you know what .. i want to be like you .. strong , gentle , caring , lovable , tough and also a good mom .. i really want to be like you net .. :)
net .. thanks for the things you've done for me .. i really appreciate it ^^
and oh ya net ..
i want to tell you something ..
did u remember the last words and sentences you said to me last night ?
i did it net .. !! and i felt so nice now .. i felt all the burdens have gone already :)
netttt .. i miss you so much net .. if i come back.. i have to meet you and spend a lot of time together .. * dont be busy with your hubby when im back .. hehehe *
anyway net .. i cant tell more words cos theres a lot of words that i shall say :)
thank you nanet for everything.. i love u sis ..
second, for my craziest erica ..
erica .. hmm .. * thinking *
what can i say about you ca ..? hahahaha .. kebnyakan ca ..
ini anak satu dari antara 2 temen gw yang bisa gw ajak gila .. ya ga ? hauhaua ..
kenal juga dr mantan gw ..
dlu kita musuh ya babe ? ahahuahau .. gara2 siapa tuh babe ? waddoohh . -.-
untung nya ajah skg kita best friend man!! hahaha ..
good girl gone bareng tai! hahahaha.. love it man!!
so far gueh kenal erica .. yah selama brapa taun ya ca ..?
hmmm.. almost 3 years nih babe! haha .. dia ini anak nya baikk .. seruu .. keras kepala .. gila .. banyak bacot dan pertanyaan juga kalo lagi ad love's matters .. hahaha .. tp dia emng the best !! anak nya seru and fun .. gueh sayang lo babe !
selama gw di sydney .. dia ini yang selalu liat gueh jatuh bangun disini .. dan di saat stuck sama masalah yang itu2 ajah .. di saat gw kecewa and sedih dia juga ad buat gw ..
thanks ya babe .. dan ini anak suka bikin gw keatwa ..
disaat gw hampir mati .. dia dateng buat gw .. thanks banged ca ..
kalo ga ada lo gueh ud bisa gila anjing .. hahaha ..
udah bisa nangis entah kayak apa ..
erica yang buat gueh ketawa lagi dalam waktu ga lebih dr 1 jam ..
cuma gara2 BURUNG tai! ahuahuaa ..
guru lo kayak burung yaa ca? hauahuahua .. itu sih lucu !
thanks babe anyway ..
lo udah gw anggep kayak sodara gw sndiri babe ..
anyway br birthday yaaa .. :)
wish you all the best babe .. love u !!
yah thats all i can say babe .. i just want to say thank you for all the things and times we've shared these past few months .. :)
you are my best !
thirdly, for my "amazing" larasaty .. =p
laras ..laras .. laras ..
salah satu dr 2 temen gila gueh juga .. hahahaha ..
kenal dr erica ya babe ..?
pertama kali gw ketemu ini orang .. gw mati kutu man! haha ..
tampang nya laras pas pertama kali ketemu : GALAK .. BELAGU .. SONGONG ..
hauhauahuhauhauahu ... *peace babe* LOL
tapiiii setelah kenal lebih deket .. laras ini anak ny GILA .. BAIK .. FUN .. LAST NOT LEAST .. MANIS .. :) MODEL INDOMEDIA LOH! hahahahaahhahaahhahaha ...
dia ini selalu bantu gw juga dan menjadi pengdengar yang baik kalo gw ada masalah .. thanks ya babe .. dan laras itu orang nya cuek .. dan kalo bisa dibialng agak sedikit kejam sih ..=p
cuma yah gpp lah .. anggep ajah bulding the awareness for yourself .. soal ny gw juga mau gitu babe .. gimana dong? HAHAHAHAHA ...
well .. gueh kenal laras belom lama .. cuma entah kenapa gw ngerasa nyaman banged man sama lo babe .. lo asik dan seru ..!! dan baik!!
anyway babe .. wish you all the best ya babe .. jgn main2 lg sama relationship ..
mikir UMUR babe .. UDAH SIAP NIKAH MAN! hauhauhauahua ..
yah awed2 sama julian ya babe ..
hope he will the best future for you ..
love you babe ..!
fourth, for my childhood friend of mine .. she is like my sibling :)
her name is yolenta winda ..
i knew her since i was in kindergarten .. :)
if i talk about this girl , it will be an endless note =p
yolenta is one of my very best too ..
she is like my sibling for life ..
she knows everything about me .. who i am and what i am .,
the point is, she knows everyything until the details about me ..
and the funniest thing about me and her is we always have the same moments that had happened before ..it was so funny .. when we were thinking through it .. we laughed loudly cos we never realized it until one time we sat quitely and talked frankly ..
yolenta is one of a girl that is emotinal, stubborn, stupid in essence not in subjects but love ..
ya more less like me maybe .. HAHAHAHAHA .. nah just kidding .. she's just make it too complicated sometimes .. but its okay yol .. sometimes i love to make it complicated too.. =p
well the point is .. she is a very nice girl and she also gives me a lot of advices to me ..
sometimes she is mature enough for me but sometimes not maybe because you are still young even me :(
but soon i will have my birthday and turn to be 18 :) how happy i am ^^
and ya yol .. even though we are far away each other, no matter what, you are still my best friend .. you are special for me .. ^^
thanks babe for all the things we have and shared .. i will always love u ..
the last but not least is for my dearest pao2 .. my unique girl ever!
her name is pao2 .. i mean DESYANI ROSADI =p
hmm .. i know her through my ex and car club in jakarta ..
she is the GIRL LEADER OF FUNCTION .. *CIIEEEEHHHHH* hahahahahhaha ..
the first time i knew her, i already knew she's unique ..and i'm right !
pao2 is one of my best in jakarta that i spend most of my time with ..
she is very nice and kind to me .. and i used to come to her house everyday and got no where to go and then finally we just went for sisha .. * damn it.. miss sisha suddenly*
hmm .. pao pao is very tall of a girl .. cos she has 170 cm height or even more .. GOSH!
i want to be that tall .. give me some pao! hehehehe ..
well mm .. she also always give me advices and suggestions that are so REALISTIC ..
she is way too honest to me .. hahahaa .. but thats okay cos it helps me anyway thanks babe :)
she is so dependable on herself .. she is kind of girl that every girls wanted to be ..
be proud babe ..
well i got no words to say now babe .. all you have to know that you are always be my best .. and i love u so much babe ..
P.S. FOR ALL MY GIRLS UP THERE .. THANKS A LOT FOR HELPING ME THROUGH THIS PROBLEM AND LIFE .. LOVE YOU GUYS ..
they are nanet , erica , laras, yolen and pao2 .. :)
first , for my dear nanet ..
nanet .. you are my lovable sister ..
well .. i know her through my ex .. and thanks God, He brought nanet into my life ...
she has a very important role in all of my days or maybe in my life ..
she is like my sister of my own .. and she also my very best of mine .. :)
from the first time we met , i already knew that she was a very nice and gentle person and i didnt mistaken that :)
even though i didnt know her for a long time .. at least more than a year .. in those times, she had given me a lot of things .. not physical things but love and care to me ...
she treats me like her sister .. i feel very comfortable of this .. * thanks net *
and she always helps me through all the problems that i used to have .. she gave me a lot of suggestions and advices .. and all of her words are true ..
net you know what .. i want to be like you .. strong , gentle , caring , lovable , tough and also a good mom .. i really want to be like you net .. :)
net .. thanks for the things you've done for me .. i really appreciate it ^^
and oh ya net ..
i want to tell you something ..
did u remember the last words and sentences you said to me last night ?
i did it net .. !! and i felt so nice now .. i felt all the burdens have gone already :)
netttt .. i miss you so much net .. if i come back.. i have to meet you and spend a lot of time together .. * dont be busy with your hubby when im back .. hehehe *
anyway net .. i cant tell more words cos theres a lot of words that i shall say :)
thank you nanet for everything.. i love u sis ..
second, for my craziest erica ..
erica .. hmm .. * thinking *
what can i say about you ca ..? hahahaha .. kebnyakan ca ..
ini anak satu dari antara 2 temen gw yang bisa gw ajak gila .. ya ga ? hauhaua ..
kenal juga dr mantan gw ..
dlu kita musuh ya babe ? ahahuahau .. gara2 siapa tuh babe ? waddoohh . -.-
untung nya ajah skg kita best friend man!! hahaha ..
good girl gone bareng tai! hahahaha.. love it man!!
so far gueh kenal erica .. yah selama brapa taun ya ca ..?
hmmm.. almost 3 years nih babe! haha .. dia ini anak nya baikk .. seruu .. keras kepala .. gila .. banyak bacot dan pertanyaan juga kalo lagi ad love's matters .. hahaha .. tp dia emng the best !! anak nya seru and fun .. gueh sayang lo babe !
selama gw di sydney .. dia ini yang selalu liat gueh jatuh bangun disini .. dan di saat stuck sama masalah yang itu2 ajah .. di saat gw kecewa and sedih dia juga ad buat gw ..
thanks ya babe .. dan ini anak suka bikin gw keatwa ..
disaat gw hampir mati .. dia dateng buat gw .. thanks banged ca ..
kalo ga ada lo gueh ud bisa gila anjing .. hahaha ..
udah bisa nangis entah kayak apa ..
erica yang buat gueh ketawa lagi dalam waktu ga lebih dr 1 jam ..
cuma gara2 BURUNG tai! ahuahuaa ..
guru lo kayak burung yaa ca? hauahuahua .. itu sih lucu !
thanks babe anyway ..
lo udah gw anggep kayak sodara gw sndiri babe ..
anyway br birthday yaaa .. :)
wish you all the best babe .. love u !!
yah thats all i can say babe .. i just want to say thank you for all the things and times we've shared these past few months .. :)
you are my best !
thirdly, for my "amazing" larasaty .. =p
laras ..laras .. laras ..
salah satu dr 2 temen gila gueh juga .. hahahaha ..
kenal dr erica ya babe ..?
pertama kali gw ketemu ini orang .. gw mati kutu man! haha ..
tampang nya laras pas pertama kali ketemu : GALAK .. BELAGU .. SONGONG ..
hauhauahuhauhauahu ... *peace babe* LOL
tapiiii setelah kenal lebih deket .. laras ini anak ny GILA .. BAIK .. FUN .. LAST NOT LEAST .. MANIS .. :) MODEL INDOMEDIA LOH! hahahahaahhahaahhahaha ...
dia ini selalu bantu gw juga dan menjadi pengdengar yang baik kalo gw ada masalah .. thanks ya babe .. dan laras itu orang nya cuek .. dan kalo bisa dibialng agak sedikit kejam sih ..=p
cuma yah gpp lah .. anggep ajah bulding the awareness for yourself .. soal ny gw juga mau gitu babe .. gimana dong? HAHAHAHAHA ...
well .. gueh kenal laras belom lama .. cuma entah kenapa gw ngerasa nyaman banged man sama lo babe .. lo asik dan seru ..!! dan baik!!
anyway babe .. wish you all the best ya babe .. jgn main2 lg sama relationship ..
mikir UMUR babe .. UDAH SIAP NIKAH MAN! hauhauhauahua ..
yah awed2 sama julian ya babe ..
hope he will the best future for you ..
love you babe ..!
fourth, for my childhood friend of mine .. she is like my sibling :)
her name is yolenta winda ..
i knew her since i was in kindergarten .. :)
if i talk about this girl , it will be an endless note =p
yolenta is one of my very best too ..
she is like my sibling for life ..
she knows everything about me .. who i am and what i am .,
the point is, she knows everyything until the details about me ..
and the funniest thing about me and her is we always have the same moments that had happened before ..it was so funny .. when we were thinking through it .. we laughed loudly cos we never realized it until one time we sat quitely and talked frankly ..
yolenta is one of a girl that is emotinal, stubborn, stupid in essence not in subjects but love ..
ya more less like me maybe .. HAHAHAHAHA .. nah just kidding .. she's just make it too complicated sometimes .. but its okay yol .. sometimes i love to make it complicated too.. =p
well the point is .. she is a very nice girl and she also gives me a lot of advices to me ..
sometimes she is mature enough for me but sometimes not maybe because you are still young even me :(
but soon i will have my birthday and turn to be 18 :) how happy i am ^^
and ya yol .. even though we are far away each other, no matter what, you are still my best friend .. you are special for me .. ^^
thanks babe for all the things we have and shared .. i will always love u ..
the last but not least is for my dearest pao2 .. my unique girl ever!
her name is pao2 .. i mean DESYANI ROSADI =p
hmm .. i know her through my ex and car club in jakarta ..
she is the GIRL LEADER OF FUNCTION .. *CIIEEEEHHHHH* hahahahahhaha ..
the first time i knew her, i already knew she's unique ..and i'm right !
pao2 is one of my best in jakarta that i spend most of my time with ..
she is very nice and kind to me .. and i used to come to her house everyday and got no where to go and then finally we just went for sisha .. * damn it.. miss sisha suddenly*
hmm .. pao pao is very tall of a girl .. cos she has 170 cm height or even more .. GOSH!
i want to be that tall .. give me some pao! hehehehe ..
well mm .. she also always give me advices and suggestions that are so REALISTIC ..
she is way too honest to me .. hahahaa .. but thats okay cos it helps me anyway thanks babe :)
she is so dependable on herself .. she is kind of girl that every girls wanted to be ..
be proud babe ..
well i got no words to say now babe .. all you have to know that you are always be my best .. and i love u so much babe ..
P.S. FOR ALL MY GIRLS UP THERE .. THANKS A LOT FOR HELPING ME THROUGH THIS PROBLEM AND LIFE .. LOVE YOU GUYS ..
26 april 2009
Joanna
FATE
life is a game
fate is an umpire
you are a player
in your play,
fate is not the true umpire
as you are the player and it's your play ..
life is a game
where everyone has an entrance and exit
life is a game where everyone has a role to play
but fate is not which makes you play
but you play and say it is a fate ..
you choose your fate
by the things you do
if you are good
your fate will be too
fate doesnt choose you
it wont take time to choose you
just watch what you do
and fate will be good to you ..
fate is it something we make
fate in who we are and what we fake
fate to belive in what we make
fate but not being able to have a date ..
somehow ..
fate is an ending to all of your dreams
a reason for your pain
fate explains your fears and screams
every disappointment and every break of your mind
fate digs deep into your life
and it wont say what its doing to you
and what its causing ..
what it contains ..
you can't fight fate
no matter how far away you are
what's meant to be will always be
in one corner sat my conscience
in the other stood my fate
my conscience it called out to me
asking to negotiate
but fate refused to listen
and I lay right there between
the nagging of my conscience
and the seductiveness of dreams
when fate began to listen
and conscience ceased to rail
against all of my weaknesses
asssuming I would fail
then peace fell full amongst us
and these players took their place
and now ..
you wait to see your fate
you watch to see which path of fate that fits you
you watch to see if your heart is with love or hate
you watch until you find the fate at which you shall live
your fate is what you settle for in life
what you take as your life marches on day by day
an obligation to life ..
Joanna -
fate is an umpire
you are a player
in your play,
fate is not the true umpire
as you are the player and it's your play ..
life is a game
where everyone has an entrance and exit
life is a game where everyone has a role to play
but fate is not which makes you play
but you play and say it is a fate ..
you choose your fate
by the things you do
if you are good
your fate will be too
fate doesnt choose you
it wont take time to choose you
just watch what you do
and fate will be good to you ..
fate is it something we make
fate in who we are and what we fake
fate to belive in what we make
fate but not being able to have a date ..
somehow ..
fate is an ending to all of your dreams
a reason for your pain
fate explains your fears and screams
every disappointment and every break of your mind
fate digs deep into your life
and it wont say what its doing to you
and what its causing ..
what it contains ..
you can't fight fate
no matter how far away you are
what's meant to be will always be
in one corner sat my conscience
in the other stood my fate
my conscience it called out to me
asking to negotiate
but fate refused to listen
and I lay right there between
the nagging of my conscience
and the seductiveness of dreams
when fate began to listen
and conscience ceased to rail
against all of my weaknesses
asssuming I would fail
then peace fell full amongst us
and these players took their place
and now ..
you wait to see your fate
you watch to see which path of fate that fits you
you watch to see if your heart is with love or hate
you watch until you find the fate at which you shall live
your fate is what you settle for in life
what you take as your life marches on day by day
an obligation to life ..
25 april 2009
Joanna -
the meanest person
last night,
i couldnt sleep
lots of thoughts in my head ..
this morning,
i woke up
and found out myself inexplicable ..
there were times
i couldnt explain what was goin on
there is times
i can explain what is happening now
but since then
i prefer to be in "silence" rather than "crowd"
facing "the world" in my real life
complaining about "my world" around
insisting to learn " that world "
how could it be ?
i just want to live my own life ..
uncertainty comes around
without any sign of fidelity
trying to give the best face ever
i keep it inside but i'm wearing it ..
someone says that every cloud has a silver lining
but is it true ?
even the song tells me that each life has it's own colour
true to be told
somehow ,
i don't need other people to choose my colour of the life
indefinite happiness that made me insecure
indescribable minds that hit my lowest low
there's only 2 words which can tell about me and that is ..
" i'm tired .. "
if one day ,
i dealt with my secret personality
i would be the meanest person that you could ever possibily imagine ..
Joanna -
i couldnt sleep
lots of thoughts in my head ..
this morning,
i woke up
and found out myself inexplicable ..
there were times
i couldnt explain what was goin on
there is times
i can explain what is happening now
but since then
i prefer to be in "silence" rather than "crowd"
facing "the world" in my real life
complaining about "my world" around
insisting to learn " that world "
how could it be ?
i just want to live my own life ..
uncertainty comes around
without any sign of fidelity
trying to give the best face ever
i keep it inside but i'm wearing it ..
someone says that every cloud has a silver lining
but is it true ?
even the song tells me that each life has it's own colour
true to be told
somehow ,
i don't need other people to choose my colour of the life
indefinite happiness that made me insecure
indescribable minds that hit my lowest low
there's only 2 words which can tell about me and that is ..
" i'm tired .. "
if one day ,
i dealt with my secret personality
i would be the meanest person that you could ever possibily imagine ..
23 april 2009
Joanna -
life's precious
as I am laying now here in my bed
trying to kill the pain I have,
thinking about life how weird it can be,
laugh and smile for a moment, j
ust thinking of something ..
sometimes i think
that i have to accept life,
no matter how hard my life will be,
and front to back i'm not where i wanted to be..
i try to keep balance,
but i feel bad and
for some reasons my days are grey ,,
no one really can understands,
it’s not really the moments that i had,
it’s my life’s plan
life goes by and material will vanish ..
life is precious,
therefore i have to keep my head up and don’t be damned!
Joanna -
trying to kill the pain I have,
thinking about life how weird it can be,
laugh and smile for a moment, j
ust thinking of something ..
sometimes i think
that i have to accept life,
no matter how hard my life will be,
and front to back i'm not where i wanted to be..
i try to keep balance,
but i feel bad and
for some reasons my days are grey ,,
no one really can understands,
it’s not really the moments that i had,
it’s my life’s plan
life goes by and material will vanish ..
life is precious,
therefore i have to keep my head up and don’t be damned!
21 april 2009
Joanna -
thanks to my girls
nights after nights
all the days that i had been through
i never imagined that i would have a situation like this
sat down after i went back from my girl's house
did my usual activity at home
calling ..
laughing ..
talking ..
browsing ..
chatting ..
then suddenly ...
just in a couple of minutes ..
all of that changed immediately
my happiness turned to be sadness
my indescribable feelings turned out to be an answer
i knew this would happened to me
but not this fast ..
a feeling that i thought it would be my last
suddenly turned out to be the nasty feeling i ever had
cried
screamed
yelled
whined
all of those things i did it in just 3 hours
i called my best friend
she talked a lot to me
she was also speechless at that mean time
and me either
then a best friend of mine came along
she opened my mind
she talked to me frankly
she cheered me up with the facts
though it hurts but i have to admit it
yea it felt so sucks
it felt like shit
i never thought this would happened to me
never in my life time here
i thought he was goin to be long lasting
but well,
time's changed ..
nothing i can do
and now ..
i was just laughing with her
talking about life
how hard life is
how shit life is
but sometimes i have to appreciate life
and i also wanted to thank to God
God made a way to me this day
Thanks Jesus for giving me an exact answer
i know You will give and prepare the best for my future and present times
thanks Daddy ..
but whatever now ..
what can i do?
all that i can do is just praying ..
pray for someone that already hurt me
hope he will be alright and wish him all the best in life
N.O.T.E.
- A big thanks to Laras and Erica
With love,
Joanna -
all the days that i had been through
i never imagined that i would have a situation like this
sat down after i went back from my girl's house
did my usual activity at home
calling ..
laughing ..
talking ..
browsing ..
chatting ..
then suddenly ...
just in a couple of minutes ..
all of that changed immediately
my happiness turned to be sadness
my indescribable feelings turned out to be an answer
i knew this would happened to me
but not this fast ..
a feeling that i thought it would be my last
suddenly turned out to be the nasty feeling i ever had
cried
screamed
yelled
whined
all of those things i did it in just 3 hours
i called my best friend
she talked a lot to me
she was also speechless at that mean time
and me either
then a best friend of mine came along
she opened my mind
she talked to me frankly
she cheered me up with the facts
though it hurts but i have to admit it
yea it felt so sucks
it felt like shit
i never thought this would happened to me
never in my life time here
i thought he was goin to be long lasting
but well,
time's changed ..
nothing i can do
and now ..
i was just laughing with her
talking about life
how hard life is
how shit life is
but sometimes i have to appreciate life
and i also wanted to thank to God
God made a way to me this day
Thanks Jesus for giving me an exact answer
i know You will give and prepare the best for my future and present times
thanks Daddy ..
but whatever now ..
what can i do?
all that i can do is just praying ..
pray for someone that already hurt me
hope he will be alright and wish him all the best in life
N.O.T.E.
- A big thanks to Laras and Erica
With love,
Joanna -
A Poem For Mama
i was a little girl
knew nothing about life
all i knew was crying and shouting to my mom
i grew up to be a teenager
knew something about life
but not at all
tried bad things for so many times
had bad attitudes for those moments
and i admit it,
until now ..
i do still have it though i try my best not to do it
mama,
you always taught me about life
you always said to me that i was your beloved daughter
you always there for me no matter what
you always give me a true love and care
and when i was down and tumbled
you came to me and said,
" you can face anything "
mama,
i miss you so badly ..
i miss those moments that i was with you
spending times with you
i miss your voice
i miss your presence
i need you by myside now ..
i dont know what will i do without you
i never go a day without my mom ..
mama,
i did some painful things to you
i am sorry for that ..
i wont do it to u again ..
when i was near you,
i never realized that you were so important to me
but when distance lies between us,
i conciously know that you are the most precious person in my life
without u ,
i am nothing ..
mama,
i miss your laughter
i miss your smile
the way you told me about your days
the way you asked me for food
the way you scolded me because i wont eat
the way you remind me about life
wish you were here mom ..
i wanna talk to you and share my days with you
how struggle i am through these days
how dumbed i am with these days
and how i need your attention now ..
i still remember when i was a kid,
i always wanted something that extra-ordinary in life
and you always tried to give me those things
though sometimes it was out of your mind
and i still remember about those times,
we had a fight , we screamed ..
we argued like hell ,
but we still can make it through ..
cos i know i am like you ..
and when i told you about my relationship
you just smiled to me and say " let it be the way should be .."
and whenever i had problems i my relationship,
i always told you about it ..
your advices ..
your suggestions ..
never wrong ..
you always comfort me with anything you have
you always give your best to me ..
i will not be able to reply and give it back all the kindness you have been given to me
i just want you to know that i love you so much
and wont ever go from you
there's a lot of words to say now mama ..
a lot ..
i wouldnt finish ..
this is just a little of my feeling ..
come and see me mama ..
as soon as possible ..
cos i miss u a lot ..
i do mean a lot ..
i have to go mom ,
i need to study now ..
i miss u ..
and i will always love you ..
knew nothing about life
all i knew was crying and shouting to my mom
i grew up to be a teenager
knew something about life
but not at all
tried bad things for so many times
had bad attitudes for those moments
and i admit it,
until now ..
i do still have it though i try my best not to do it
mama,
you always taught me about life
you always said to me that i was your beloved daughter
you always there for me no matter what
you always give me a true love and care
and when i was down and tumbled
you came to me and said,
" you can face anything "
mama,
i miss you so badly ..
i miss those moments that i was with you
spending times with you
i miss your voice
i miss your presence
i need you by myside now ..
i dont know what will i do without you
i never go a day without my mom ..
mama,
i did some painful things to you
i am sorry for that ..
i wont do it to u again ..
when i was near you,
i never realized that you were so important to me
but when distance lies between us,
i conciously know that you are the most precious person in my life
without u ,
i am nothing ..
mama,
i miss your laughter
i miss your smile
the way you told me about your days
the way you asked me for food
the way you scolded me because i wont eat
the way you remind me about life
wish you were here mom ..
i wanna talk to you and share my days with you
how struggle i am through these days
how dumbed i am with these days
and how i need your attention now ..
i still remember when i was a kid,
i always wanted something that extra-ordinary in life
and you always tried to give me those things
though sometimes it was out of your mind
and i still remember about those times,
we had a fight , we screamed ..
we argued like hell ,
but we still can make it through ..
cos i know i am like you ..
and when i told you about my relationship
you just smiled to me and say " let it be the way should be .."
and whenever i had problems i my relationship,
i always told you about it ..
your advices ..
your suggestions ..
never wrong ..
you always comfort me with anything you have
you always give your best to me ..
i will not be able to reply and give it back all the kindness you have been given to me
i just want you to know that i love you so much
and wont ever go from you
there's a lot of words to say now mama ..
a lot ..
i wouldnt finish ..
this is just a little of my feeling ..
come and see me mama ..
as soon as possible ..
cos i miss u a lot ..
i do mean a lot ..
i have to go mom ,
i need to study now ..
i miss u ..
and i will always love you ..
5 april 2009
Joanna
endless love
should you always say what you feel
is the person you're telling going to be able to heal
is what you're saying necessary for everyone else to know
just because you're thinking something,
maybe you should just let it go
everyone else around you may not be as strong
some things need to be kept hidden
and you should move along
you don't know where that person has come from
or where he's going to go
what kind of day he's had, you just don't know
before you blurt out everything you feel
think, is the person listening going to be able to heal?
the miles increase as space shortens
time appears to stand still
so close yet so far
shall i run or hide?
can i go back in time,
where we were always together?
can my mind erase the feel of your embrace?
how can I forget all of this
and pretend it doesn't exist?
i want you to know one thing that will never end
that i love you, my friends ..
each morning as I arise
each night as I drift to sleep
each hour of every day
each moment before it goes away
every single day ,
you are always in my mind
tell me your stories and I'll tell you mine
and so we will pass a few hours time
we'll fashion the future and polish the past
allowing the memories to amass
conversation fades
and you gather me an embrace so tight
and we wistfully
longingly say goodnight ..
P.S. i miss you guys .. :(
is the person you're telling going to be able to heal
is what you're saying necessary for everyone else to know
just because you're thinking something,
maybe you should just let it go
everyone else around you may not be as strong
some things need to be kept hidden
and you should move along
you don't know where that person has come from
or where he's going to go
what kind of day he's had, you just don't know
before you blurt out everything you feel
think, is the person listening going to be able to heal?
the miles increase as space shortens
time appears to stand still
so close yet so far
shall i run or hide?
can i go back in time,
where we were always together?
can my mind erase the feel of your embrace?
how can I forget all of this
and pretend it doesn't exist?
i want you to know one thing that will never end
that i love you, my friends ..
each morning as I arise
each night as I drift to sleep
each hour of every day
each moment before it goes away
every single day ,
you are always in my mind
tell me your stories and I'll tell you mine
and so we will pass a few hours time
we'll fashion the future and polish the past
allowing the memories to amass
conversation fades
and you gather me an embrace so tight
and we wistfully
longingly say goodnight ..
P.S. i miss you guys .. :(
26 march 2009
Joanna -
Joanna -
My untouchable star
my very best friend told me
" stars are made for wishing on "
so i gazed upon march night's sky
i stared and wished upon the brightest star
i named the star as "untouchable but love's inside"
a long name to say but has a lot of meaning
and now the star is all mine to claim
i thought about what I wanted
something that I could wish for
but as u thought about my wish
i realized,
the process should go much more
my little star should know my thoughts
behind each and every wish
so before I made my wish that night
i told to my special little star
i could wish for someone who really love me
come in a little sweet surprise
and say those 3 words
that comes on a path with thousands of curves
i could wish to be famous
to be someone other than myself
but self worth is measured by much more than
having the most trophies on your shelf
instead i wish for popularity
and courage in matters of love
i pray i'll meet that someone special
and through tough times we will rise above
i could wish for a happiness that will last forever
though it's impossible
but at least i wish for no more pain and tears
i thanked to my untouchable star for listening to
my wishes and my dreams
my untouchable star listens to all I've just said
no matter where either of us end up living
it will always be my wishing star
Joanna -
" stars are made for wishing on "
so i gazed upon march night's sky
i stared and wished upon the brightest star
i named the star as "untouchable but love's inside"
a long name to say but has a lot of meaning
and now the star is all mine to claim
i thought about what I wanted
something that I could wish for
but as u thought about my wish
i realized,
the process should go much more
my little star should know my thoughts
behind each and every wish
so before I made my wish that night
i told to my special little star
i could wish for someone who really love me
come in a little sweet surprise
and say those 3 words
that comes on a path with thousands of curves
i could wish to be famous
to be someone other than myself
but self worth is measured by much more than
having the most trophies on your shelf
instead i wish for popularity
and courage in matters of love
i pray i'll meet that someone special
and through tough times we will rise above
i could wish for a happiness that will last forever
though it's impossible
but at least i wish for no more pain and tears
i thanked to my untouchable star for listening to
my wishes and my dreams
my untouchable star listens to all I've just said
no matter where either of us end up living
it will always be my wishing star
26 march 2009
Joanna -
cluttered
here i am
desires abound
here i am
relentless and sensous
in the middle of night
a thousand of thoughts in my head
apart from voices
an incredible feeling appears
with a complete belief
here i am
suspiciousness shows
here i am
attention asides
a simple and single sentence comes out
" men never know how to act "
i tried to understand
about the senseless taking of life
for some reason
they are all the same
strategies and games
plays and fun
those are parts of men's life
i look to my fingers to write out some wisdom
i look all around, in and out
but there's no answer for me
hesitant at first to admit my feelings inside
and when my heart found love
my mind was set
i'm sitting in my room
there's a mess on the floor
i'm waiting in my gloom
to come rushing in the door
i'm laying in my room
there's clothes on the bed
i'm lonely in my gloom
that never leaves my head
lonely nights spent thinking of something
trying to regain the piece of me
wondering if it might have worked
wanting to wash away all of my heart's hate
desires abound
here i am
relentless and sensous
in the middle of night
a thousand of thoughts in my head
apart from voices
an incredible feeling appears
with a complete belief
here i am
suspiciousness shows
here i am
attention asides
a simple and single sentence comes out
" men never know how to act "
i tried to understand
about the senseless taking of life
for some reason
they are all the same
strategies and games
plays and fun
those are parts of men's life
i look to my fingers to write out some wisdom
i look all around, in and out
but there's no answer for me
hesitant at first to admit my feelings inside
and when my heart found love
my mind was set
i'm sitting in my room
there's a mess on the floor
i'm waiting in my gloom
to come rushing in the door
i'm laying in my room
there's clothes on the bed
i'm lonely in my gloom
that never leaves my head
lonely nights spent thinking of something
trying to regain the piece of me
wondering if it might have worked
wanting to wash away all of my heart's hate
26 march 2009
Joanna -
Joanna -
The harrdest part
a journey to achieve happiness
it ain't that easy ..
needs to sacrifice something
needs to shed tears ..
when a scar sketches the heart
it will give you an incredible pain ..
a single love presents a thousand feeling
a thousand word give you a million thought ..
sitting alone in the corner
thinking about all the times that have been through
and it gives u a result of heartbreak ..
try the best to hold on
and pretend to be alright
it is not the way should be ..
there was a time
where a person is being solitude
in the other hand,
where a person is being a couple
they couldn't be together
as long as there's a spark ..
but ..
when they live a solitary life
one of them had to choose a different path of life
though it was just a temporary way ..
a simple question rose
is it possible to hold on?
a single question rose
can a man wait for the love?
words are too much in this life
and actions are none in this moment ..
but the hardest part of it all
is the silent screed the night ..
it ain't that easy ..
needs to sacrifice something
needs to shed tears ..
when a scar sketches the heart
it will give you an incredible pain ..
a single love presents a thousand feeling
a thousand word give you a million thought ..
sitting alone in the corner
thinking about all the times that have been through
and it gives u a result of heartbreak ..
try the best to hold on
and pretend to be alright
it is not the way should be ..
there was a time
where a person is being solitude
in the other hand,
where a person is being a couple
they couldn't be together
as long as there's a spark ..
but ..
when they live a solitary life
one of them had to choose a different path of life
though it was just a temporary way ..
a simple question rose
is it possible to hold on?
a single question rose
can a man wait for the love?
words are too much in this life
and actions are none in this moment ..
but the hardest part of it all
is the silent screed the night ..
22 march 2009
- Joanna Aoran-
- Joanna Aoran-
what is ♥ .. what a ♥ can do ..
what is love ..
love can't see you and you can't see it
love is a sneaky thing which i guess sort of slick
love can hurt and love can heal
love has won and love has lost
love can stand and love can fall
what is love ..
love is unpredictable and love is uncontainable
love is reliable and love is infallible
love is right and love is wrong
love is weak but love is strong
what is love ..
love can smile and love can frown
love is good and love can be bad
love is quite and love can brag
love is a little and love is a lot
love contiues and love stops
what can love do?
love can smile and love can frown
love can hope and love can dream
love can be a word or love can be a ring
love can be nothing or love can be everything
so where is this thing we call Love ,
i dont know the only real love we have comes from above...
love can't see you and you can't see it
love is a sneaky thing which i guess sort of slick
love can hurt and love can heal
love has won and love has lost
love can stand and love can fall
what is love ..
love is unpredictable and love is uncontainable
love is reliable and love is infallible
love is right and love is wrong
love is weak but love is strong
what is love ..
love can smile and love can frown
love is good and love can be bad
love is quite and love can brag
love is a little and love is a lot
love contiues and love stops
what can love do?
love can smile and love can frown
love can hope and love can dream
love can be a word or love can be a ring
love can be nothing or love can be everything
so where is this thing we call Love ,
i dont know the only real love we have comes from above...
15 march 2009
JOanna
For all of you
For u guys ..
I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.
I've learned<>.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life req uires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
I've learned.... That the best classroom in the world is at the feet of an elderly person.
I've learned.... That when you're in love, it shows.
I've learned<>.... That just one person saying to me, 'You've made my day!' makes my day.
I've learned.... That having a child fall asleep in your arms is one of the most peaceful feelings in the world.
I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being right.
I've learned.... That you should never say no to a gift from a child.
I've learned.... That I can always pray for someone when I don't have the strength to help him in some other way.
I've learned.... That no matter how serious your life req uires you to be, everyone needs a friend to act goofy with.
I've learned.... That sometimes all a person needs is a hand to hold and a heart to understand.
I've learned.... That simple walks with my father around the block on summer nights when I was a child did wonders for me as an adult.
I've learned.... That life is like a roll of toilet paper. The closer it gets to the end, the faster it goes.
I've learned.... That we should be glad God doesn't give us everything we ask for.
I've learned.... That money doesn't buy class.
I've learned.... That it's those small daily happenings that make life so spectacular.
I've learned... That under everyone's hard shell is someone who wants to be appreciated and loved.
I've learned.... That to ignore the facts does not change the facts.
I've learned.... That when you plan to get even with someone, you are only letting that person continue to hurt you.
I've learned.... That love, not time, heals all wounds.
I've learned.... That the easiest way for me to grow as a person is to surround myself with people smarter than I am.
I've learned.... That everyone you meet deserves to be greeted with a smile.
I've learned.... That no one is perfect until you fall in love with them.
I've learned... That life is tough, but I'm tougher.
I've learned.... That opportunities are never lost; someone will take the ones you miss.
I've learned.... That when you harbor bitterness, happiness will dock elsewhere.
I've learned.... That I wish I could have told my Mom that I love her one more time before she passed away.
I've learned.... That one should keep his words both soft and tender, because tomorrow he may have to eat them.
I've learned.... That a smile is an inexpensive way to improve your looks.
I've learned.... That when your newly born grandchild holds your little finger in his little fist, that you're hooked for life.
I've learned.... That everyone wants to live on top of the mountain, but all the happiness and growth occurs while you're climbing it.
I've learned.... That the less time I have to work with, the more things I get done.
17 march 2009
Joanna
I miss all my best in Jkt
the best of friends
can change a frown Into a smile
when you feel down ..
the best of friends,
will understand your little trials
and lend a hand ..
the best of friends
will always share your secret dreams
because they care ..
crack me up with laughter
know when i do need advices
and when to sit in quiet support ..
time after time
come to my rescue
and brightend so many of my routine days ..
i've realized how fortunate i am
that my life includes you ..
words escape me at this moment
that seems like the end
yet it is only the beginning ..
when friendships are close
and dreams are far
you were there for me ..
tears fill me
with memories of both good and bad
some nearly forgotton
yet all dear to the heart
you were there for me ..
and held me up.
through your ever-patient ears
to your comforting hugs
you were there for me.
from that first day
when I saw you and knew
that you would love me for who I was
you were there for me.
and until the day when we are old and gray
I will always hope that
you are there for me ..
you're my friend because you're always there
if there's sadness around ..
at night, in the morning or anytime of day
you're there to cheer me up and chase the sadness away ..
i just want to thank you for all you've done,
you've helped me through a lot, you're really number one.
thanks for all the good times that we share,
it shows that you're one who really does care ..
thanks for being there when time got rough
you make it easier when times get too tough ..
thanks for being there each and every day
thanks for being you in that very special way ..
P.S. this poem is made for all of you .. without you guys, i mean nothing .. :) thanks for being my best friends in life and becoming a part of my life ..
can change a frown Into a smile
when you feel down ..
the best of friends,
will understand your little trials
and lend a hand ..
the best of friends
will always share your secret dreams
because they care ..
crack me up with laughter
know when i do need advices
and when to sit in quiet support ..
time after time
come to my rescue
and brightend so many of my routine days ..
i've realized how fortunate i am
that my life includes you ..
words escape me at this moment
that seems like the end
yet it is only the beginning ..
when friendships are close
and dreams are far
you were there for me ..
tears fill me
with memories of both good and bad
some nearly forgotton
yet all dear to the heart
you were there for me ..
and held me up.
through your ever-patient ears
to your comforting hugs
you were there for me.
from that first day
when I saw you and knew
that you would love me for who I was
you were there for me.
and until the day when we are old and gray
I will always hope that
you are there for me ..
you're my friend because you're always there
if there's sadness around ..
at night, in the morning or anytime of day
you're there to cheer me up and chase the sadness away ..
i just want to thank you for all you've done,
you've helped me through a lot, you're really number one.
thanks for all the good times that we share,
it shows that you're one who really does care ..
thanks for being there when time got rough
you make it easier when times get too tough ..
thanks for being there each and every day
thanks for being you in that very special way ..
P.S. this poem is made for all of you .. without you guys, i mean nothing .. :) thanks for being my best friends in life and becoming a part of my life ..
19 march 2009
Joanna
things change slowly
distance certainly makes the heart grow fonder
but our together times confirmed our devotion
and the distance times made you ponder
left you with heartfelt confusion.
no matter how little or how long
your time to grow and discover
you know when you belong
you know you’ve found your true lover
its when together you feel a connection
its when together you feel first loved
its when together there is equal passion
its when together no feelings are gloved
it’s when together words fail me
its when together I feel a pulse
its when together I see
and nothing is false
sometimes there’s reluctance
unbelieving that to someone else
you have importance
until its staring you right in the face
but you can’t see it
only when you’re in another place
things start to fit
how can we be scared of something we’ve always wanted?
why do we say I don’t want to lose you?
when it feels like we bonded
because,
when we were together we wanted a ‘forever’
when i were apart i was too scared to start
as I pick up my heavy heart
and I no longer pursue you
i slowly restart
and I hope you will too
♥♥
Joanna -
but our together times confirmed our devotion
and the distance times made you ponder
left you with heartfelt confusion.
no matter how little or how long
your time to grow and discover
you know when you belong
you know you’ve found your true lover
its when together you feel a connection
its when together you feel first loved
its when together there is equal passion
its when together no feelings are gloved
it’s when together words fail me
its when together I feel a pulse
its when together I see
and nothing is false
sometimes there’s reluctance
unbelieving that to someone else
you have importance
until its staring you right in the face
but you can’t see it
only when you’re in another place
things start to fit
how can we be scared of something we’ve always wanted?
why do we say I don’t want to lose you?
when it feels like we bonded
because,
when we were together we wanted a ‘forever’
when i were apart i was too scared to start
as I pick up my heavy heart
and I no longer pursue you
i slowly restart
and I hope you will too
14 march 2009
♥♥
Joanna -
F.R.I.E.N.D.S
friends stay together
through good and through bad ..
Friends stay together
through happy and sad ..
Friends stay together
through break-ups and tears .
Friends stay together
over the years ..
Friends stay together
when different or alike ..
Friends stay together
through pain and through strife ..
Friends stay together
no matter the cause ..
Friends stay together
just because
Friends stay together
through love and through hate ..
Friends stay together
through destiny and fate ..
Friends stay together
they're just always there ..
Friends stay together
because they care ..
14 march 2009
joanna -
through good and through bad ..
Friends stay together
through happy and sad ..
Friends stay together
through break-ups and tears .
Friends stay together
over the years ..
Friends stay together
when different or alike ..
Friends stay together
through pain and through strife ..
Friends stay together
no matter the cause ..
Friends stay together
just because
Friends stay together
through love and through hate ..
Friends stay together
through destiny and fate ..
Friends stay together
they're just always there ..
Friends stay together
because they care ..
14 march 2009
joanna -
Trust
trust is something that bonds people together
trust can be lost yet regained
once lost, it is hard to regain a trust
trust is something hat should not be abused or betrayed
for if this is done
they will be severe pain in heart ..
trust is but a word
but it still has meaning
trust is a feeling
that always worth achieving?
trust is trust
it shows that your mine ..
but yet trust is a big word
you think you can trust someone but they turn around you
you think you can trust that special
but that person lie and stab you in heart ..
i think i can trust everybody
but really i dont know who to trust anymore
my past made me not trust completely
wasn't able to trust anybody fully
i though i was too strong
that i wasnt be able to fall
i thought i wouldnt allow myself to get hurt anymore ..
but i hope that all changed
when you came and put in the trust again
although i know my man is true
even him decreasingly trust ..
but i know,
that lies go no where and no one can go far without trust
cos trust is a something special of heart and brain..
trust can be lost yet regained
once lost, it is hard to regain a trust
trust is something hat should not be abused or betrayed
for if this is done
they will be severe pain in heart ..
trust is but a word
but it still has meaning
trust is a feeling
that always worth achieving?
trust is trust
it shows that your mine ..
but yet trust is a big word
you think you can trust someone but they turn around you
you think you can trust that special
but that person lie and stab you in heart ..
i think i can trust everybody
but really i dont know who to trust anymore
my past made me not trust completely
wasn't able to trust anybody fully
i though i was too strong
that i wasnt be able to fall
i thought i wouldnt allow myself to get hurt anymore ..
but i hope that all changed
when you came and put in the trust again
although i know my man is true
even him decreasingly trust ..
but i know,
that lies go no where and no one can go far without trust
cos trust is a something special of heart and brain..
6 march 2009
Joanna -
Joanna -
dedicated to people who become a part of my life
right now ..
i have something to say to you ..
i remember about days and times we shared together
i remember about the laughter and happiness we have together
the moments we had remind me of dearest girls
sadness and disappointment ..
pain and tears ..
madness and boringness
we shared all of them in days and times ..
this time ,
i can't be with my best
i can't share my days
i can't meet and see you guys ..
remember the days we go to the place
where we did shisha and ate those foods?
remember the days we went out together
to the place which place is always the same,
but we had so much fun?
remember the days i play to your house
where we play and chillin out together?
oh how i miss those times ,
where i can share everythng together ..
i dont have much to say ..
i just can only say that i love you
and i miss you ..
though there's a thousand mile between us
just remember ,
i will always be with u
i will always miss u
cos all of you are my very best ..
i have something to say to you ..
i remember about days and times we shared together
i remember about the laughter and happiness we have together
the moments we had remind me of dearest girls
sadness and disappointment ..
pain and tears ..
madness and boringness
we shared all of them in days and times ..
this time ,
i can't be with my best
i can't share my days
i can't meet and see you guys ..
remember the days we go to the place
where we did shisha and ate those foods?
remember the days we went out together
to the place which place is always the same,
but we had so much fun?
remember the days i play to your house
where we play and chillin out together?
oh how i miss those times ,
where i can share everythng together ..
i dont have much to say ..
i just can only say that i love you
and i miss you ..
though there's a thousand mile between us
just remember ,
i will always be with u
i will always miss u
cos all of you are my very best ..
1 march 2009
Joanna aoran
Joanna aoran
Past and future times
dedicated for all my best
pain is what we go through everyday
and it's painful
pain hurts once its in you
pain makes you want to suffer and cry
pain makes you want to hide or runaway
and even Its horrible and discusing ..
Pain is everywere in this world
but the best thing to do is fight the pain ..
cos we stand in the present
watching the world swirl around us
we are as one frozen, unable to move
we look over our shoulder
look to the past
see it clearly set in stone ..
unchanging,
unavailable,
untouchable,
we turn back , look ahead, look to the future
but see it shrouded in unknowns ..
our future will not copy fair the past
yesterdays past is today's past
but yesterdays' tomorrow is today's' past
and its' future ..
tomorrow doesn't know about yesterday
but tomorrow's yesterday knows the future and the past
the future's past can be today
the future is tomorrow and today ..
P.S.
if you let go your past .. you will have your future :)
28 february 2009
Joanna Aoran
pain is what we go through everyday
and it's painful
pain hurts once its in you
pain makes you want to suffer and cry
pain makes you want to hide or runaway
and even Its horrible and discusing ..
Pain is everywere in this world
but the best thing to do is fight the pain ..
cos we stand in the present
watching the world swirl around us
we are as one frozen, unable to move
we look over our shoulder
look to the past
see it clearly set in stone ..
unchanging,
unavailable,
untouchable,
we turn back , look ahead, look to the future
but see it shrouded in unknowns ..
our future will not copy fair the past
yesterdays past is today's past
but yesterdays' tomorrow is today's' past
and its' future ..
tomorrow doesn't know about yesterday
but tomorrow's yesterday knows the future and the past
the future's past can be today
the future is tomorrow and today ..
P.S.
if you let go your past .. you will have your future :)
28 february 2009
Joanna Aoran
old friends - AGATHANS FEVER DE FETTUCHINI
Junior High School and high school were the best moment i had in my school lfe's time ..
i couldnt forget things that had happened between us ..
Laughter,happiness,sadness,disappointment,madness and etc ..
There's a lot of things that always remind me about you guys ..
old photos , old smiles , old jokes and old characteristics .. you guys are the best i used to have .. and now only some of them * sorry to say this but it is the truth * :(
first thing ..
We used to have a group and it is called as " AGATHAN'S FEVER DE FETTUCHINI "
there were 9 girls .. A stands for AORAN .. GA stand for GABRIELLA .. THA stand for YOLENTA .. N stands for NATASHA .. S stands for SANSANITA .. FE stand for FRIENDS .. VER stand for FOREVER .. DE stand for DENISE .. FE stand for FENNY .. TTU stand for TEP2 .. CHINI stand for CHINTANIA ..
we always stick together at that time .. no matter what!
we had stupid things to share such as hanging out without reasons .. and took photo cards with silly poses . :D ... but we used to have it .. and now not anymore .. *sad*
As the time goes by ,
one by one disappeared .. there was because of fights .. there was because of movement .. and maybe there was because of jealousy ? i don't know ..
but all that i know is we used to have precious times to share and tell .. and it was a lovely time ever .. i couldn't forget that .. i love them too much ..
i couldn't tell you for the whole things that had happened among us ..
this note was made just to remind you guys of AGATHANS FEVER DE FETTUCHINI ..
and i just want you guys to know one thing that im goin to say ..
" i love you guys no matter what until now .. though i don't deny we used to have fights among us but it was so last year .. you guys are still my best .. i do care and love about you guys .. hope one day , we can reunited again .. :D "
i couldnt forget things that had happened between us ..
Laughter,happiness,sadness
There's a lot of things that always remind me about you guys ..
old photos , old smiles , old jokes and old characteristics .. you guys are the best i used to have .. and now only some of them * sorry to say this but it is the truth * :(
first thing ..
We used to have a group and it is called as " AGATHAN'S FEVER DE FETTUCHINI "
there were 9 girls .. A stands for AORAN .. GA stand for GABRIELLA .. THA stand for YOLENTA .. N stands for NATASHA .. S stands for SANSANITA .. FE stand for FRIENDS .. VER stand for FOREVER .. DE stand for DENISE .. FE stand for FENNY .. TTU stand for TEP2 .. CHINI stand for CHINTANIA ..
we always stick together at that time .. no matter what!
we had stupid things to share such as hanging out without reasons .. and took photo cards with silly poses . :D ... but we used to have it .. and now not anymore .. *sad*
As the time goes by ,
one by one disappeared .. there was because of fights .. there was because of movement .. and maybe there was because of jealousy ? i don't know ..
but all that i know is we used to have precious times to share and tell .. and it was a lovely time ever .. i couldn't forget that .. i love them too much ..
i couldn't tell you for the whole things that had happened among us ..
this note was made just to remind you guys of AGATHANS FEVER DE FETTUCHINI ..
and i just want you guys to know one thing that im goin to say ..
" i love you guys no matter what until now .. though i don't deny we used to have fights among us but it was so last year .. you guys are still my best .. i do care and love about you guys .. hope one day , we can reunited again .. :D "
15 february 2009
Joanna Aoran
Joanna Aoran
Memories
as i keep living this life
i've just reaized one thing ..
that it never ends ..
as i keep solving this life
i've just noticed one thing ..
that it never disappears ..
in one night ,
i heard a song that i used to listen ,
then suddenly ,
pictures burst in ..
lyrics ,
times ,
melodies ,
three of them bring me back
to a place when i had this moment ..
sometimes i feel i want to own that time again ,
but after all i've been through
it doesn't worth at all for me ..
a song that call "i'll be waitin "
means waiting forever ..
but not for me ,
i have to move on ..
cos i have a better place and a better future ..
just because it never ends ,
i called it as memories ..
which is never gone from my life ,
a little pieces of shattered heart ,
i keep it myself ..
i sum up 3 words
which is "life goes on.."
i've just reaized one thing ..
that it never ends ..
as i keep solving this life
i've just noticed one thing ..
that it never disappears ..
in one night ,
i heard a song that i used to listen ,
then suddenly ,
pictures burst in ..
lyrics ,
times ,
melodies ,
three of them bring me back
to a place when i had this moment ..
sometimes i feel i want to own that time again ,
but after all i've been through
it doesn't worth at all for me ..
a song that call "i'll be waitin "
means waiting forever ..
but not for me ,
i have to move on ..
cos i have a better place and a better future ..
just because it never ends ,
i called it as memories ..
which is never gone from my life ,
a little pieces of shattered heart ,
i keep it myself ..
i sum up 3 words
which is "life goes on.."
8 february 2009
Joanna aoran
Joanna aoran
2 words - THANK YOU
poor you ..
i'm surprise to see you unhappy
i'm surprise to see you messed up
i'm surprise to see you screwed up
cos i thought that ,
you would be alright ..
cos i thought that ,
you would have your happiness ..
pity you ..
i don't know how to talk to you
i don't know how to make it better
even i don't know ,
how to see and decide what kind of life
that you've been doing now ..
sometimes ,
i do think about your life ,
sometimes ,
i do say swear words to you ,
but after all ,
i realize that i don't have to ..
only two senteces that i need to say ,
that is ,
" Thank you for everything you've done "
and ..
" Thank you for your love that you gave me "
i'm surprise to see you unhappy
i'm surprise to see you messed up
i'm surprise to see you screwed up
cos i thought that ,
you would be alright ..
cos i thought that ,
you would have your happiness ..
pity you ..
i don't know how to talk to you
i don't know how to make it better
even i don't know ,
how to see and decide what kind of life
that you've been doing now ..
sometimes ,
i do think about your life ,
sometimes ,
i do say swear words to you ,
but after all ,
i realize that i don't have to ..
only two senteces that i need to say ,
that is ,
" Thank you for everything you've done "
and ..
" Thank you for your love that you gave me "
5 february 2009
Joanna aoran
Joanna aoran
feelings --> teenage loves --> heart break --> a PLEASURE !
his note is dedicated to all of my best friends :)
Love is as much of an object as an obsession
everybody wants it ..everybody seeks it ..
but few ever achieve it
those who do will cherish it ..be lost in it ..
and among all never forget it ..
when you are in love you,
can't fall asleep because
reality is better than your dreams ..
the hardest thing to do
is watch the one you love,
love someone else ..
some of the greater things in life
are unseen thats why you close your eyes
when you kiss, cry or dream..
as we grow older together,
as we continue to change with age,
there is one thing that will never change,
that love is always there ..
pleasure of love lasts but a moment
pain of love lasts a lifetime ..
this is what we called a teenage love ..
a broken heart is a very pleasant complaint
it is a curious sensation
the sort of pain
that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling
when your heart is broken,
your boats are burned
nothing matters any more ..
it is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace ..
didn't ask for it to be over
but then again,
never asked for it to begin ..
for that's the way it is with life,
as some of the most beautiful days come completely by chance ..
missing someone gets easier everyday
because even though it is one day further from the last time
you saw each other,
it is one day closer to the next time you will ..
a good-bye is never painful
unless you're never going to meet again
the reason it hurts so much to separate
is because our souls are connected ..
and the time goes by a lot slower
when you miss the one you love
every goodbye makes the next meeting closer ..
a life of pleasure makes even the strongest mind frivolous at last
pleasure may come from illusion,
but happiness can come only of reality ..
and in everything,
satiety closely follows the greatest pleasures ..
23 february 2009
Joanna aoran
Love is as much of an object as an obsession
everybody wants it ..everybody seeks it ..
but few ever achieve it
those who do will cherish it ..be lost in it ..
and among all never forget it ..
when you are in love you,
can't fall asleep because
reality is better than your dreams ..
the hardest thing to do
is watch the one you love,
love someone else ..
some of the greater things in life
are unseen thats why you close your eyes
when you kiss, cry or dream..
as we grow older together,
as we continue to change with age,
there is one thing that will never change,
that love is always there ..
pleasure of love lasts but a moment
pain of love lasts a lifetime ..
this is what we called a teenage love ..
a broken heart is a very pleasant complaint
it is a curious sensation
the sort of pain
that goes mercifully beyond our powers of feeling
when your heart is broken,
your boats are burned
nothing matters any more ..
it is the end of happiness and the beginning of peace ..
didn't ask for it to be over
but then again,
never asked for it to begin ..
for that's the way it is with life,
as some of the most beautiful days come completely by chance ..
missing someone gets easier everyday
because even though it is one day further from the last time
you saw each other,
it is one day closer to the next time you will ..
a good-bye is never painful
unless you're never going to meet again
the reason it hurts so much to separate
is because our souls are connected ..
and the time goes by a lot slower
when you miss the one you love
every goodbye makes the next meeting closer ..
a life of pleasure makes even the strongest mind frivolous at last
pleasure may come from illusion,
but happiness can come only of reality ..
and in everything,
satiety closely follows the greatest pleasures ..
23 february 2009
Joanna aoran
A friendship
[ What is a friendship ?? ]
1.a friend is friendly, happy, and playful, too. a friend doesn't yell at you. you play with each other all the time. you try not to fight with a friend. you help each other when you get hurt
2. a friend is someone who goes with you in the good times and bad times. good friends are always by your side. when you're playing they don't walk away. they never fight with you because then they aren't your friend if you don't have any friends then you aren't friendly
3. a friend is a person who comes and won't judge a flower by its color. a person who will never give up on you. a person who will comfort you when storms of tears are in your mind.
4. a person who will just have some fun with you and give you a good laugh. a person that doesn't mind expressing their happy or sad feelings to you.
5. a friend is someone you can depend on. Someone who you can talk to. a friend could be anything like a person, dog or cat. whatever a friend is it doesn't matter as long as it's your friend. many people don't know that. a friend is a friend and that's all that matters.
6. a friend is someone who is spectacular! you love them deep down inside your heart. someone who helps you when you are hurt or sad, or even if you're happy. a friend is someone who is kind to you and knows how you feel when you are scared.
7. a friend is someone who doesn't dump you and who helps you when you get hurt. someone who says they are sorry when they do something to hurt your feelings. someone who doesn't make fun of you or your name.
8. a friend is someone who cares about you, plays with you and sticks up for you if someone is mean to you. friends are people who are thoughtful. they help you when you're hurt.
9. a friend is someone you have fun with, someone you care about and someone you love. a friend is someone you can tell secrets to. friends especially don't steal from each other or fight. they always help and are kind to one another.
10. and last .. friendship is a golden thread that ties our heart together !!
and all of you guys are my best friends .. i can't imagine my life without you guys ..
love you!
1.a friend is friendly, happy, and playful, too. a friend doesn't yell at you. you play with each other all the time. you try not to fight with a friend. you help each other when you get hurt
2. a friend is someone who goes with you in the good times and bad times. good friends are always by your side. when you're playing they don't walk away. they never fight with you because then they aren't your friend if you don't have any friends then you aren't friendly
3. a friend is a person who comes and won't judge a flower by its color. a person who will never give up on you. a person who will comfort you when storms of tears are in your mind.
4. a person who will just have some fun with you and give you a good laugh. a person that doesn't mind expressing their happy or sad feelings to you.
5. a friend is someone you can depend on. Someone who you can talk to. a friend could be anything like a person, dog or cat. whatever a friend is it doesn't matter as long as it's your friend. many people don't know that. a friend is a friend and that's all that matters.
6. a friend is someone who is spectacular! you love them deep down inside your heart. someone who helps you when you are hurt or sad, or even if you're happy. a friend is someone who is kind to you and knows how you feel when you are scared.
7. a friend is someone who doesn't dump you and who helps you when you get hurt. someone who says they are sorry when they do something to hurt your feelings. someone who doesn't make fun of you or your name.
8. a friend is someone who cares about you, plays with you and sticks up for you if someone is mean to you. friends are people who are thoughtful. they help you when you're hurt.
9. a friend is someone you have fun with, someone you care about and someone you love. a friend is someone you can tell secrets to. friends especially don't steal from each other or fight. they always help and are kind to one another.
10. and last .. friendship is a golden thread that ties our heart together !!
and all of you guys are my best friends .. i can't imagine my life without you guys ..
love you!
12 february 2009
Joanna Aoran
Joanna Aoran
be thoughtful of your life
First of all , im gonna ask you ..
according to you , what do you think about friendship? and what do you think about love's life? or maybe what do you think about your life?!
a lot of people will say that life's complicated .. friendship's shit .. love's life fuck up ..
but actually i shall say that all of them are simple .. we are the one who make them fucked up and screwed up ..
why should they let this happen? make it worst and way more worst .. funny aint it ? i just can't think and imagine .. how did they feel when they realized that they had lost kind of people whom they used to be with ?
life's simply like a game . we just have to do the staging of life . each stage or each level has it's own difficulty .. you make it through the first stage then you just go to the next stage . simple aite? and yaaa .. about friendship? i've seen so many people that lost their best partner or their best friends just for something that maybe i can call it as shit? does it worth? Make up your mind guys! we shouldn't have to lose them .. you have to know something yaa .. friendship is one of the best that we have to live our life .. without them , we can't survive anyway .. cos we need friends .. more less they are important! in the other hand , unfortunately most of people always say that love's suck or love's shit .. dont put the blame on love .. put the blame on us! we are the one who made ourselves suffered .. we are the one who made ourselves stressed .. and we are also the one who made our life messed up! love is a gift .. love is amazing .. it is just us that can't do something special and right to it ..
and one more thing ya .. i used to think about how people get mad and stress of something that always be burdens for them .. i mean fuckin burdens .. that shouldn't be happened at all ..
i just want to tell one person here .. i just want to share about my experience about life ..
i know that life isn't that good .. i know sometimes life is shit .. but this is life .. no matter what problems have to come .. because if there's no problem means that you're die! everyone does has a bad past time .. everyone has the fucked up life .. but you shouldn't be crazy for that .. the only one that you have to think about :
1. just think that you've done great things for yourself and life
2. just think that everybody always do mistakes
3. just think that all of them have problems .. and it always be ..
4. take it calmly . slowly .. cos that one is what an ordinary people do!
so don't be so fucked up .. or keep saying " MY LIFE IS FUCKED UP!"
stop it please .. it doesn't worth at all .. you can do regret of what you've done and what you've had .. but it won't work! just wasting your energy and time to say it .. be SMART and MINDFUL!
well .. im not advicing you guys .. but . this is what i thought .. and i just want to write it somewhere .. :D
yeaa i hope you guys will find the right one .. the perfect life .. the great friendship .. in your life :) i know that it ain't easy but hell yeah someday we will get them .. we will live our life like that .. and please , don't regret of what you've done cos it's just useless and no point at all .. BE GRATEFUL of what you got .. of what you had .. of what you did .. of what you said !
5 february 20o9
Joanna -
according to you , what do you think about friendship? and what do you think about love's life? or maybe what do you think about your life?!
a lot of people will say that life's complicated .. friendship's shit .. love's life fuck up ..
but actually i shall say that all of them are simple .. we are the one who make them fucked up and screwed up ..
why should they let this happen? make it worst and way more worst .. funny aint it ? i just can't think and imagine .. how did they feel when they realized that they had lost kind of people whom they used to be with ?
life's simply like a game . we just have to do the staging of life . each stage or each level has it's own difficulty .. you make it through the first stage then you just go to the next stage . simple aite? and yaaa .. about friendship? i've seen so many people that lost their best partner or their best friends just for something that maybe i can call it as shit? does it worth? Make up your mind guys! we shouldn't have to lose them .. you have to know something yaa .. friendship is one of the best that we have to live our life .. without them , we can't survive anyway .. cos we need friends .. more less they are important! in the other hand , unfortunately most of people always say that love's suck or love's shit .. dont put the blame on love .. put the blame on us! we are the one who made ourselves suffered .. we are the one who made ourselves stressed .. and we are also the one who made our life messed up! love is a gift .. love is amazing .. it is just us that can't do something special and right to it ..
and one more thing ya .. i used to think about how people get mad and stress of something that always be burdens for them .. i mean fuckin burdens .. that shouldn't be happened at all ..
i just want to tell one person here .. i just want to share about my experience about life ..
i know that life isn't that good .. i know sometimes life is shit .. but this is life .. no matter what problems have to come .. because if there's no problem means that you're die! everyone does has a bad past time .. everyone has the fucked up life .. but you shouldn't be crazy for that .. the only one that you have to think about :
1. just think that you've done great things for yourself and life
2. just think that everybody always do mistakes
3. just think that all of them have problems .. and it always be ..
4. take it calmly . slowly .. cos that one is what an ordinary people do!
so don't be so fucked up .. or keep saying " MY LIFE IS FUCKED UP!"
stop it please .. it doesn't worth at all .. you can do regret of what you've done and what you've had .. but it won't work! just wasting your energy and time to say it .. be SMART and MINDFUL!
well .. im not advicing you guys .. but . this is what i thought .. and i just want to write it somewhere .. :D
yeaa i hope you guys will find the right one .. the perfect life .. the great friendship .. in your life :) i know that it ain't easy but hell yeah someday we will get them .. we will live our life like that .. and please , don't regret of what you've done cos it's just useless and no point at all .. BE GRATEFUL of what you got .. of what you had .. of what you did .. of what you said !
5 february 20o9
Joanna -
changes in life
life is full of choices
make sure you pick the right one
don't listen to the voices
hear only yours and you have won ..
lots of people will tell you
that you need changes in life ,
somehow it works but somehow it doesn't ..
don't take to heart of all their view
just think that you're alright
there is only one voice
that you should listen to
it will help make the right choice
that is perfect just for you..
your looks are your own
someone will always love you
you will never be alone
cos you are not alone ..
there's a magical quality
in everyone for all to see
some keep it hidden ,
some never realize
the only magnificence they hold in other's eyes ..
life is itself a gift
renewed appreciation of life ,
than you will know how to live your life
with your own role ..
make sure you pick the right one
don't listen to the voices
hear only yours and you have won ..
lots of people will tell you
that you need changes in life ,
somehow it works but somehow it doesn't ..
don't take to heart of all their view
just think that you're alright
there is only one voice
that you should listen to
it will help make the right choice
that is perfect just for you..
your looks are your own
someone will always love you
you will never be alone
cos you are not alone ..
there's a magical quality
in everyone for all to see
some keep it hidden ,
some never realize
the only magnificence they hold in other's eyes ..
life is itself a gift
renewed appreciation of life ,
than you will know how to live your life
with your own role ..
30 january 2009
joanna aoran
joanna aoran
Road of life that less traveled
how often we must bear the challenges of life
the endless roller coaster between happiness and sorrow
the constant ups and downs of daily strife
and always the question remains .... why?
life is not an easy road for most
it twists and turns with many forks in the road
although always and inevitably
we are given a choice ..
decisions are not easy for those struggling for direction
and sometimes
the many choices and signs become over rated ..
time to contemplate on our life
our experiences and our choices past
time to look back,
and reflect on what we have learned
without fear or confusion ..
for only each of us knows our own personal thoughts
our unique past and personal history
the experiences that brought us
to the crossroads we now face ..
the endless roller coaster between happiness and sorrow
the constant ups and downs of daily strife
and always the question remains .... why?
life is not an easy road for most
it twists and turns with many forks in the road
although always and inevitably
we are given a choice ..
decisions are not easy for those struggling for direction
and sometimes
the many choices and signs become over rated ..
time to contemplate on our life
our experiences and our choices past
time to look back,
and reflect on what we have learned
without fear or confusion ..
for only each of us knows our own personal thoughts
our unique past and personal history
the experiences that brought us
to the crossroads we now face ..
3o January 2009
joanna aoran
joanna aoran
How to improve your life to become better
everyday, we almost repeat the same thing, same process. It does not matter whether you are guys or girls .. whether you are rich or poor .. Ask yourself, and do a simple note.. from monday to sunday, record what you have done, what you eat, what you play, anything .. Surely, you will notice one common thing .. you are just repeating the same work each and every day!
i am not saying this type of life is not good and most of us are feel satisfactory to our life,.. but are you happy with your current life? do you feel dull to repeat the same thing everyday? are you feel stressful and dull with your current job? do you want to live happier? You don't have to earn lots of money to make your life happier than you have now .. all you need to is just make a little change everyday and improve the rest of your life! even just a smile with your friends around , it could make a better one and live happier!
if you have a problem in any relationship .. and you don't know what to do ..?
well .. maybe i have a suggestion .. relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things that require extra effort to maintain.. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many trials.. Understanding the other's feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship.. the easiest method to understand what is important to another's is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say.. when the other realize this, they would feel the importance given to them ..
and yea you know .. everyone's dream is to own a success life .. am i right? surely yea!
success can be everything .. To create a success in your life, you first need to have a goal..
next, come out with a plan and follow the plan to achieve your goal.. When you succeed in achieving certain goals, you are not just happy, but also feel proud and build up your confidence! You believe yourself, believe to your expertise and the most important thing, people start chasing you, respect you and trust you.. this feel of success cannot be bought! you use your own effort, time and plan to fulfill.. the feel of success is so great and that's why million of people try their best to chase their dream!
it is simply a small change could easily bring you to a higher level .. Stop making excuses and stop complaint! every time when problem occurs .. t seems like a stone blocking your way to success. but if you look carefully, every problem should produce a seed that ready for
you to discover it.. to live happier is very simple and you can change your life by improving yourself! and last but not least .. you have to put God in every single step you take ..
24 january 2009
Joanna aoran
i am not saying this type of life is not good and most of us are feel satisfactory to our life,.. but are you happy with your current life? do you feel dull to repeat the same thing everyday? are you feel stressful and dull with your current job? do you want to live happier? You don't have to earn lots of money to make your life happier than you have now .. all you need to is just make a little change everyday and improve the rest of your life! even just a smile with your friends around , it could make a better one and live happier!
if you have a problem in any relationship .. and you don't know what to do ..?
well .. maybe i have a suggestion .. relationships of all kinds are often perceived as very delicate things that require extra effort to maintain.. However, a relationship can also be something that can provide security and can also be long lasting despite many trials.. Understanding the other's feeling and position creates an effective and efficient relationship.. the easiest method to understand what is important to another's is to ask them what they want and listen to what they have to say.. when the other realize this, they would feel the importance given to them ..
and yea you know .. everyone's dream is to own a success life .. am i right? surely yea!
success can be everything .. To create a success in your life, you first need to have a goal..
next, come out with a plan and follow the plan to achieve your goal.. When you succeed in achieving certain goals, you are not just happy, but also feel proud and build up your confidence! You believe yourself, believe to your expertise and the most important thing, people start chasing you, respect you and trust you.. this feel of success cannot be bought! you use your own effort, time and plan to fulfill.. the feel of success is so great and that's why million of people try their best to chase their dream!
it is simply a small change could easily bring you to a higher level .. Stop making excuses and stop complaint! every time when problem occurs .. t seems like a stone blocking your way to success. but if you look carefully, every problem should produce a seed that ready for
you to discover it.. to live happier is very simple and you can change your life by improving yourself! and last but not least .. you have to put God in every single step you take ..
24 january 2009
Joanna aoran
for those who confuse
if i were permitted to ask God ,
i would ask a question like this ..
" God , why there should be love between adam and eve in this world? "
and if were permitted again to ask God
i would ask a question like this ..
" God , if you had created a feeling like love , why there should be pain ? "
you know .. sometimes i'm thinking , how stupid we are .. you know when you are faliing in love deeply and then they break your heart instantly into pieces but we still love them .. or maybe they did painful things towards our heart then we are insited to dumb our feelings?
maybe in one time , you said that you hate them .. but in some other time , when you look through your photos that you keep or maybe when you meet them or when you text them .. whatsoever .. what do you feel? are you happy? are you sad? are you hurt? or maybe feel disappointed? .. lots of feelings that we can't tell right ?
but believe me , maybe you don't notice .. in a second when you see them or remember them.. you will miss them though they must hurt you before ..
like one of my friend said , " it's funny how someone can broke your heart, and you still love 'em with the little pieces. " my friend's statement is true .. how can ?? it shows us that we are stupid or a jackass of love ? sucks yea ..
but we just don't know what to choose .. either to stay or to leave .. 2 simple options but it is very hard to decide ..
For all ppl who feel the same thing like this .. maybe now , you can try to decide something's best for you .. just remember .. " SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST THAN OTHER"
i would ask a question like this ..
" God , why there should be love between adam and eve in this world? "
and if were permitted again to ask God
i would ask a question like this ..
" God , if you had created a feeling like love , why there should be pain ? "
you know .. sometimes i'm thinking , how stupid we are .. you know when you are faliing in love deeply and then they break your heart instantly into pieces but we still love them .. or maybe they did painful things towards our heart then we are insited to dumb our feelings?
maybe in one time , you said that you hate them .. but in some other time , when you look through your photos that you keep or maybe when you meet them or when you text them .. whatsoever .. what do you feel? are you happy? are you sad? are you hurt? or maybe feel disappointed? .. lots of feelings that we can't tell right ?
but believe me , maybe you don't notice .. in a second when you see them or remember them.. you will miss them though they must hurt you before ..
like one of my friend said , " it's funny how someone can broke your heart, and you still love 'em with the little pieces. " my friend's statement is true .. how can ?? it shows us that we are stupid or a jackass of love ? sucks yea ..
but we just don't know what to choose .. either to stay or to leave .. 2 simple options but it is very hard to decide ..
For all ppl who feel the same thing like this .. maybe now , you can try to decide something's best for you .. just remember .. " SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO PUT YOURSELF FIRST THAN OTHER"
21 january 2009
Joanna Aoran
Joanna Aoran
be grateful of what you have
this day
i saw lots of people passed through me
i saw lots of people smiled
i saw lots of people got mad
i saw lots of people starved
i saw lots of people were dying outside
and at the moment
i've looked into myself,
and i got myself alright ..
or maybe i can say that
i got myself in a very pleasure condition
sometimes ..
we don't be thankful of what we get and have
we don't be mindful of what we do and think
we don't be thoughtful of other's feelings
i'm telling you ,
say thankyou and be grateful of what you have now
cos ..
when you do that ,
lots of good things will come to you ..
trust me and trust in God :)
God bless :D
i saw lots of people passed through me
i saw lots of people smiled
i saw lots of people got mad
i saw lots of people starved
i saw lots of people were dying outside
and at the moment
i've looked into myself,
and i got myself alright ..
or maybe i can say that
i got myself in a very pleasure condition
sometimes ..
we don't be thankful of what we get and have
we don't be mindful of what we do and think
we don't be thoughtful of other's feelings
i'm telling you ,
say thankyou and be grateful of what you have now
cos ..
when you do that ,
lots of good things will come to you ..
trust me and trust in God :)
God bless :D
21 January 2009
Joanna aoran
Joanna aoran
reality of my day
sitting down quietly
staring out the sky
talking to myself unconciously
dreaming out the future
walking down the town
thinking of what tomorrow comes
writing a note of life
typing sentences for today
and at least that i can say is
" i'm happy for now "
seeing the sun shine
feel the warmness of the day light
caring for one another
minding of everything happens
remembering of each memory
saving all precious stuffs
and as the time goes by
all of them will shrink from the reality
but stay as bittersweet memories
staring out the sky
talking to myself unconciously
dreaming out the future
walking down the town
thinking of what tomorrow comes
writing a note of life
typing sentences for today
and at least that i can say is
" i'm happy for now "
seeing the sun shine
feel the warmness of the day light
caring for one another
minding of everything happens
remembering of each memory
saving all precious stuffs
and as the time goes by
all of them will shrink from the reality
but stay as bittersweet memories
12 January 2009
Joanna Aoran
Joanna Aoran
dedicated to all of my best friends
when troubles come
when darkness near me
when loneliness strikes me
when i'm down
and when there's nothing right
i can only shout one name ,
and it's you my dear friend ..
from time to time
we're holding hand each other
face the fact and matters
from a year until this minute
we're walking together
feel the happiness and sadness
and i'm happy that i have friends
like you guys ..
my dear friends,
all of you always say ,
" just call me when you feel you aren't okay and i'll be there for you "
and at the time you guys said that
i feel very safe and comfort ..
what best friends do ..
when i did something wrong
when i made you mad at me
when i talked something that hurt you
when i cried out loud at late night
when i told you about my love's stories
the only one who want to listened and gave advices
the only one who want to pardoned and understood
is only you .. my dear friends ..
and now ,
there's nothing i give do for dear friends
except remind you of all memories that we shared and had
there's something i want all of you to know ,
that is ..
" i will always love you guys .. no matter what happens , you guys are the best for me! "
9 January 2009
Joanna Aoran
when darkness near me
when loneliness strikes me
when i'm down
and when there's nothing right
i can only shout one name ,
and it's you my dear friend ..
from time to time
we're holding hand each other
face the fact and matters
from a year until this minute
we're walking together
feel the happiness and sadness
and i'm happy that i have friends
like you guys ..
my dear friends,
all of you always say ,
" just call me when you feel you aren't okay and i'll be there for you "
and at the time you guys said that
i feel very safe and comfort ..
what best friends do ..
when i did something wrong
when i made you mad at me
when i talked something that hurt you
when i cried out loud at late night
when i told you about my love's stories
the only one who want to listened and gave advices
the only one who want to pardoned and understood
is only you .. my dear friends ..
and now ,
there's nothing i give do for dear friends
except remind you of all memories that we shared and had
there's something i want all of you to know ,
that is ..
" i will always love you guys .. no matter what happens , you guys are the best for me! "
9 January 2009
Joanna Aoran
shattered
oooppss ..! sorry ,
did i interupt your life?
met accidently
then left evidently
well ,
not bad for you ..
but worst!
did I wake you up?
or is a nightmare keepin’ you up instead?
oh baby, are you feelin’ guilty for what you did?
if you think you’re hurtin’,
you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!
sorry boy ,
you won't and can't go back if you decide a wrong thing!
and you will fall apart like shattered glass!
are you havin' a trouble throughout your days?
i think you're gonna want me back!
well .. feel like you're a man?
no you're not ..
i bet you can't go back to the last time you said it ..
did i interupt your life?
met accidently
then left evidently
well ,
not bad for you ..
but worst!
did I wake you up?
or is a nightmare keepin’ you up instead?
oh baby, are you feelin’ guilty for what you did?
if you think you’re hurtin’,
you ain’t seen nothin’ yet!
sorry boy ,
you won't and can't go back if you decide a wrong thing!
and you will fall apart like shattered glass!
are you havin' a trouble throughout your days?
i think you're gonna want me back!
well .. feel like you're a man?
no you're not ..
i bet you can't go back to the last time you said it ..
8 January 2oo9
Joanna
Just be TRUE
one time
i was gathering with my best boy-friends
we were talking about love , lust , risk and adventure of life
and i said something about it ..
i said ,
that you can live everyday like you last
that you can pay the price and the moment will pass
but it's too late and there's no second chance
and then it's over and you've got nothing !
then they replied me ,
" but we only did something bad when we're boring "
well .. " HA .. HA .. HA .. "
laughed as loud as i can
then i told them ,
that i've been there the path was just fine on this side
because i've been there
and there's no getting back on that way
and i give statements to them ,
" there's no replacing the love you've got "
" don't have to loose to see what you've lost "
" just be true to your woman! "
" there's no good living a life in lie "
" when everything's over but the secret won't ever die "
" and i never recommended the pain and there's nothing to gain "
" don't get in guiltiness and regretfulness "
" all those years you think you worth a lot and you only realize when they've gone! "
so as the end of the sentences ..
i only suggest you to JUST BE TRUE !
i was gathering with my best boy-friends
we were talking about love , lust , risk and adventure of life
and i said something about it ..
i said ,
that you can live everyday like you last
that you can pay the price and the moment will pass
but it's too late and there's no second chance
and then it's over and you've got nothing !
then they replied me ,
" but we only did something bad when we're boring "
well .. " HA .. HA .. HA .. "
laughed as loud as i can
then i told them ,
that i've been there the path was just fine on this side
because i've been there
and there's no getting back on that way
and i give statements to them ,
" there's no replacing the love you've got "
" don't have to loose to see what you've lost "
" just be true to your woman! "
" there's no good living a life in lie "
" when everything's over but the secret won't ever die "
" and i never recommended the pain and there's nothing to gain "
" don't get in guiltiness and regretfulness "
" all those years you think you worth a lot and you only realize when they've gone! "
so as the end of the sentences ..
i only suggest you to JUST BE TRUE !
5 January 2009
Joanna
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